Four Nine Partners, LLC in Jacksonville FL - Company Profile
The Nine Partners, Dutchess County - New York Roots
The Little Nine Partners Patent: (Places)
Audience Match: Nine partners with Adobe to offer people ...
Investment Funds :: Ninepoint Partners LP
THE NINE PARTNERS. The Great or Lower Nine Partners Patent was granted 27 May, 1697, to Caleb Heathcote, Augustine Graham, James Emott, Henry Filkins, David Jamison, Hendrick Ten Eyck, John Evertson, William Creed, and Jarvis Marshall, and consisted of a tract of land some eight or ten miles in width, extending from the Hudson River east to the Oblong Patent, near the Connecticut line. Principle source: Huntting's 1897 History of Little Nine Partners. The Problem of the Boundary. There is a discrepancy between what is shown on various maps as the boundary between the Little Nine Partners and the Great Nine Partners patents. This line is shown as an east-west line, but inclined by some 10° to the northeast. Four Nine Partners, LLC Overview. Four Nine Partners, LLC filed as a Florida Limited Liability in the State of Florida and is no longer active.This corporate entity was filed approximately three years ago on Thursday, January 19, 2017 , according to public records filed with Florida Department of State. Royal Bank Plaza, South Tower, 200 Bay Street Suite 2700, PO Box 27 Toronto, Ontario M5J 2J1 Canada At the Nine Upfront 2021, the company announced Audience Match – a custom destination designed to give marketers the ability to activate people-based audiences across all of Nine’s properties.Coles has been announced as the launch partner for the new product. This will see Nine develop a purpose-built solution directly into Nine through Adobe’s data management platform (DMP), Adobe ... Back Nine Partners LLC Overview. Back Nine Partners LLC filed as a Domestic Limited-Liability Company in the State of Nevada on Friday, September 2, 2016 and is approximately four years old, according to public records filed with Nevada Secretary of State. Deb is Principal and leads strategy and insights for our partner firm, Boulevard Strategies. Her role focuses on providing clients with market research, planning and strategy formation and implementation consultation. Her work has included conducting primary research, as well, as the development of business and market strategies and plans.
r/KDRAMA Watch and Discuss Korean Dramas
2010.05.10 23:19 BrokenUrnr/KDRAMA Watch and Discuss Korean Dramas
Welcome! This is a place for discussions and news about your favorite Korean drama series (current and past), the actors and actresses, drama reviews, official soundtracks, award shows, and more. Be sure to check out our sidebar for helpful info and resources! NOTE: We are a moderated community, please familiarize yourself with our rules and policies before participating by checking our pinned Guide post.
1: Gold Star Families Monument: Yesterday we celebrated the lives of those Kentuckians, we lifted up their families, and now we have something on these Capitol grounds that show a little bit about our values, and that we value each and every one of these individuals. I invite Kentuckians to come, and to see this memorial.
2: Voting: Early voting, in-person hasn't started yet, but absentee voting is underway. This is my absentee ballot. [holds up ballot] It means that they are being mailed out, it means you have the opportunity to fill them out, and you need to make sure you do it appropriately. There are instructions that come inside of each absentee ballot about not only filling out the ballot, but what you have to do with the internal envelope, signing it, sealing it; what you have to do with the external envelope, signing it, sealing it. Make sure you follow those instructions! You then have two different things that you can do with this absentee ballot: You can mail it, and if you're going to do that, mail it soon. I’m mailing this today. I will have voted. Or you can drop it into a dropbox which the first lady is going to do and we're going to show people what that looks like.
Sec. Friedlander: As of today, more than 1.6M people have enrolled in Medicaid. This is about a little more than one in three Kentuckians and we have added over 250,000 people to receive Medicaid. Next, we have provided over 100,000 households, access to food, through the SNAP benefits. Lastly, we know within the next week or so- 2 million additional meals to seniors across this Commonwealth, and we would not be able to do this without our partners.
Sec. Friedlander: So the next piece that I want to talk about is the pandemic EBT piece: Today, we had a first phase, and we provided those benefits to over 500,000 children across Kentucky. Our partners in the Department of Education helped us do that, we took applications, and we have now just entered the second phase of that pandemic EBT service provision. For August and September, that is over 625,000 children who are going to receive these services, and receive meals, and receive food. This time you don't require an application, we will be sending these benefits to you. There'll be new cards that arrive sometime in the month of October is what we're aiming for. The mail has slowed us down a little bit, but we expect that individuals will receive those cards in October. If you have questions, we have provided our staff with the information they would need to respond to your questions. And you can call 855-306-8959, and select the “food benefits option”, and you will get information about the cards that will come to you and your mail. You'll need your birthday, and some other information to activate the cards; but when you receive them know that those services will be provided, that's related to the number of days that you're in school, or a school is in session. And so that is different for each school, but we have the information to provide the right amount of benefits on those cards.
September is close to being a month with the most cases, already the deadliest month of COVID-19 with 229, and you're calling for Kentuckians to be more urgent. But do you think that Kentuckians might look at you and say, Why aren’t you a little bit more urgent by issuing new recommendations for schools, sporting events, bars, restaurants? You know? -- I've said this before, is a pretty simple equation. It is the level and effectiveness of the rules, times how many people follow them. And you can have great sets of rules and regulations and if nobody follows them, it's not effective. Likewise, if you don't have good enough rules, even if a bunch of people are following what you have out there, it's not effective. Right now we're not seeing enough people follow what's already there and so that takes shifting a little bit. Our goal, and our belief, is that if we can get people wearing masks, if we can get them social distancing, if we can get them following the very basics, we can start decreasing our number of cases.
In terms of Masks, also people look at September and they see a month with the most cases, or likely going to be the most cases, and the most deaths. Are you surprised that some people do question the mask mandate? You obviously, you believe it's working. -- On the mask mandate, it's every single public health official, every single scientist that says that masks are effective, sometimes even very highly effective, in preventing you from getting the virus, and from getting you to spread the virus. We have seen when there is urgency- look at when other states that were- Texas was skyrocketing and put in their mask mandate, and you can bet people put them on with what was happening, you saw a significant decrease. We know they work but we got to wear them.
I got a couple of written questions: two schools in one area that are in the red on the metrics map and both are currently conducting in-person learning. -- Listen, when you hit red, you need to move to virtual because it means your community has so much spread that it is going through your schools, you're putting teachers at risk, you're putting administrators at risk. It is not a state law that makes you do the right thing but you should be willing to do the right thing, because all the data out there shows that it's not responsible, when you are in the red, to be having those in-person, classes.
Alright. It is Monday at four o'clock. That time we come together to do our update on COVID-19 here in the Commonwealth, the challenge of our times.
You know what, I'll start the way that we used to always start because we all need to hear it, especially as it looks like we're going to go into a very difficult fall with this virus, but we're gonna get through this, and we're gonna get through this together. We're going to talk later about how that's going to need us to react and respond with urgency to make sure we're doing our part and mainly to make sure we are wearing our masks. We are not seeing enough of it at the moment. I can plead, I can beg but I can also tell you that for a fact, the amount of our economy that's open, the ability to get our kids back in school, and the number of lives we lose or do not lose depend on a number of things but primarily a number of people willing to wear these masks. So today, I'm wearing the Barbourville Tigers, that's Barbourville Independent. Thank you to their fiscal director Samantha Daniels, for sending it, and appreciate them trying to keep their kids safe.
Alright, next. We are now in the midst of this election coming up in November. Early voting, in-person hasn't started yet, but absentee voting is underway. This is my absentee ballot. [holds up ballot] It means that they are being mailed out, it means you have the opportunity to fill them out, and you need to make sure you do it appropriately. There are instructions that come inside of each absentee ballot about not only filling out the ballot, but what you have to do with the internal envelope, signing it, sealing it; what you have to do with the external envelope, signing it, sealing it. Make sure you follow those instructions! You then have two different things that you can do with this absentee ballot: You can mail it, and if you're going to do that, mail it soon. I’m mailing this today. I will have voted. Or you can drop it into a dropbox which the first lady is going to do and we're going to show people what that looks like. So remember, you can register to vote until October 5. You have until October 9 to request, one of these, an absentee ballot. After that early in person voting begins on October 13 and we want everyone that's going to vote early in person really to do so before election day because you can spread out and stay safe. But there is no excuse, folks. Voting is a part of who we are as Americans. It is your duty, if you have the ability to vote, to do so, and now you have more opportunities and less excuses than ever before. I want to see a record turnout, regardless of how the elections go I want a record turnout here in Kentucky. And I think that we can and we should do that.
Alright, next up we have Secretary Eric Friedlander, he's going to talk about pandemic EBT, which is our commitment to making sure that our children, and all Kentuckians, are fed, have their basic needs met during this covid crisis.
Couple of quick updates: First I want to begin with the hard work of the folks who have worked at the Cabinet for Health and Family Services to get people eligible and through our systems to be eligible for services. As of today, more than 1.6M people have enrolled in Medicaid. This is about a little more than one in three Kentuckians and we have added over 250,000 people to receive Medicaid. This is important. If we're in, and we are in, a pandemic, it is vitally important for individuals to have health care coverage, so that we can pay doctors and nurses and hospitals, and make sure that the folks who are providing health care can get paid for the services they're providing.
Next, we have provided over 100,000 households, access to food, through the SNAP benefits. This is an important piece to keep people fed during a pandemic. Many people have lost their jobs and this is a way that we can provide those services. Folks who have lost their jobs, we have outreach to many of those folks to see if they need SNAP benefits to see if they need Medicaid benefits. We are actually the only state in the country that I know of that have proactively reached out to those folks who have had to get unemployment benefits.
Lastly, we know within the next week or so- Since the beginning of the pandemic, we have provided, or we'll be on the verge of providing, over 2 million meals. 2 million additional meals to seniors across this Commonwealth, and we would not be able to do this without our partners.
So the next piece that I want to talk about is the pandemic EBT piece. We talked earlier about a pandemic EBT- it goes to individuals, and children, and families who otherwise would be receiving meals and schools, but because schools have not been in session, they haven't been able to access those meals. Today, we had a first phase, and we provided those benefits to over 500,000 children across Kentucky. Our partners in the department of education helped us do that, we took applications, and we have now just entered the second phase of that pandemic EBT service provision. What we've done is we've again, worked with our partners in the Department of Education, they have provided us with information about folks who are eligible for free and reduced meals throughout the educational system. As of this weekend, we sent the files in order for individuals to receive these benefits as well. For August and September, that is over 625,000 children who are going to receive these services, and receive meals, and receive food. This time you don't require an application, we will be sending these benefits to you. There'll be new cards that arrive sometime between- in the month of October is what we're aiming for. The mail has slowed us down a little bit, but we expect that individuals will receive those cards in October.
If you have questions, we have provided our staff with the information they would need to respond to your questions. And you can call 855-306-8959, and select the “food benefits option”, and you will get information about the cards that will come to you and your mail. You'll need your birthday, and some other information to activate the cards; but when you receive them know that those services will be provided, that's related to the number of days that you're in school, or a school is in session. And so that is different for each school, but we have the information to provide the right amount of benefits on those cards. So today, over 500,000 in the first round, over 600,000 in the second, we've signed up well over- we've delivered benefits to about another 1.4-1.5 benefits to individuals in Kentucky during a pandemic. Having food, having health care is very important for the individuals, it is also very important for our communities. So thank you to the Department of Education. Thank you for the workers and cabinet for Health and Family Services, if you're calling those lines and you're calling those numbers, thank you for reaching out to us. Avoid Mondays. And, again, thank you Governor for this opportunity.
Thank you so much, Secretary Friedlander and I can attest to the hard work that the folks at the CHFS have done and in the Education cabinet as well to make sure that our kids are fed and in the worst of times. So without your leadership that wouldn’t be possible, so thank you. So today I'm here to talk about the new school reporting link that has gone live today is September 28th, so it is the first day that the governor recommended in-person classes resume. And so today we knew that the report reporting link for schools would go live. And so our schools are asked to self report Monday through Friday, for each day that their school is in session. And the reason this information is so critical is because it's about our communities. First and foremost, our parents and caregivers. They deserve to know this information. They deserve to know how the COVID pandemic is impacting, not just the greater community but specifically the school building that they send their children to every day. It also is very imperative for our teachers and our school staff to know how this COVID pandemic is affecting the children, and other adults, that they interact with every day. And so I'm going to show you an example of a dashboard and what it looks like today. It is populated by the school's self reporting as you can see on the screen, and the dashboard is updated daily. Anything that is reported over the weekend will be included in the Monday reports. The data will be 1 reporting day behind. Dr Stack explained that earlier- that reports are due by a certain time in the day, and it will be updated by the following day, so it will reflect the data from the previous day. And you can always find the date of that specific report at the top of the table. So for example, if you look today, Monday September 28th, the last reporting day was Friday September 25th, and so at the top of that table you will see, as of September 25th 2020, and that will be the indicator for what those numbers are. And if a school has not reported, that will also be noted on the dashboard. If you look at the left side of the screen you can see in that chart that you can filter at the state level, at the county level, at the school district level, and down to the actual school building level, so you can look at any kind of filter for your community or greater region in your area. If you have questions about your school's self reported numbers, then you need to contact your local school, or the school district itself. And if you do not see your school listed,we ask that you reach out to alert that school but also to let us know by emailing [email protected], and I will close today by saying that this is the first day that this is live; our schools are getting used to this new reporting system. As we will get used to reading this data, making sense of this data every day, and so I'm going to say what I always say, please extend grace to our school leaders, to our teachers, to parents, that are trying to navigate these waters that are very unfamiliar for all of us. Thank you so much.
Alright, I want to thank Secretary Friedlander. I think the steps that we have been able to take during this pandemic to help people have been so necessary and, in most instances, I think that the state has done a very good job. Does that mean and others that we couldn't have done better, and that we can do better in the future? It doesn't, and we should. These are the times where we have to be there for each other and I know our mission, as a part of the state, is to try to be there for each and every Kentucky and that needs us.
Alright, today's, if I call it a “word for the day”, but I hope really sinks in to everybody watching is the word “urgency”. I believe that since, maybe, the traditional start of school. We have become more casual and our approach to COVID, our concerns about COVID, and how well we follow those rules and guidelines that are out there. It can be natural, it's been seven months, and most of us have never had to deal with something like this for seven months. It's probably also psychological in that we have seen specific days and times that maybe our rhythms run on each year: the traditional start of summer, the traditional start of school, where we see kind of changes in behavior. Maybe wanting so badly to go back to pre-COVID norms that maybe we at least try to pretend like it doesn't exist. But the virus is here, and it waits for us to get casual. I believe it's a lack of urgency and some poor decision making that led to what we saw in Florida, which I think just passed 700,000 cases. It's what we saw in Texas, where there wasn't room in some morgues for what they were dealing with. In Arizona, in South Carolina, and in many other places. And when we get casual, when we don't show urgency, what we see is alarming trends in the virus, more cases, and ultimately more people passing away. So we are going to make it through this but when we get to the other side, do you want to look back and think “we could have done better” when doing better is about saving people's lives? Do we want to get to the end of this virus and say, “I'm just not really happy with the fact that I got a little exhausted in it and I guess maybe I didn't wear my mask as much”. You know I lost my friend Alice Sparks at the end of last week. They lived in Northern Kentucky, had a wonderful life, lived life to its fullest, but Alice should still be with us. I can name a half dozen other people that I knew that well that aren't with us anymore. Remember when we are casual, we do not show urgency, the results are somebody that you might not know passing away, but other people know. And what we're seeing right now requires, I think, even more urgency. Can you show the graph of the United States, and what we're seeing in cases. So as you all know, in the beginning of this, in March what we saw was a rapid increase in cases. New York had its hospitals overrun. We saw how that can almost exponentially increase the number of people that we lose. We did something that has been done very few times in history; we took some really, even severe, steps in being Healthy at Home here in Kentucky and we were able to blunt that curve, both as a Commonwealth, and as a nation, though some suffered more. But then we saw what happened when we got into the summer. Again, I think some folks were still wanting to get back to that normal summer you would hear “how could you steal summer from kids?” and “what do you mean the pools can't be open?”. And what we saw was a rapid escalation in this country where certainly the cases overall increased even more than what we saw in March. We saw mask mandates pop up at this point, all around the country, steps that needed to be taken. People, rightfully, being very worried, starting around July 5th. And we saw another decrease. But when you look at that graph we never even we never got down to the levels pre-July, before we saw it coming. And now, what we believe that we are seeing, I believe we're seeing it nationally, is the start of a new escalation; of that line not going down, but going up. And these are total cases that we are seeing in the country. And as we come towards a fall season, and winter- are more people are going to be inside, where we know the virus spreads faster, we’ve got to do better than this. We can't be casual right now and what we do right now may impact us two weeks or a month from now.
Let's look at the Kentucky cases, because what we're seeing nationally, we're seeing here too. Last week we had almost 5,000 cases, the most that we have ever had. Folks, we've been at this long enough to know what we can do to reduce the number of cases. We've done it several times. Yet, we're having the largest number of cases, right now. We've got to have urgency. We've all got to believe that 4,949 cases are far, far too many. And I now believe that we are not sitting at a plateau, but we are seeing what would be the third escalation that we've dealt with here in the Commonwealth. We have to do better. We have to act with urgency. We look at the WH report which came out today. We had been pleased in the weeks before to not be in any of their red categories, we're back in one; we're in the red category for increasing overall number of cases. Thankfully, we're in the yellow category in our positivity rates, because we're doing a lot of testing. But being in a red zone in a time of COVID means our people will suffer. And I had somebody talk, I think that it was an individual who told this to our Inspector General, he said “Well I hear you all, but I just go to the mall and I don't see people with COVID.” COVID is one of these invisible killers, that when you have it, you're quarantined at home, or you're in the hospital, that you’re not seeing out in your community, but everybody knows at least one person now, and sees one person they know whose family is suffering and says “if you all will do one thing please believe this is real”. Let’s listen to them. Let's make sure that we are treating it like it's real. The White House report this week. Lists now red, orange, and yellow zone counties. That's what we do in our incident report.
Here's the red zone: Warren, Laurel, Union Calloway, Knott, Grayson, Marshall, Estill, Clay, Jackson, Meade, Montgomery, Wayne, and Leslie. A lot of these overlap with our incident maps. Now we've had, you know, some groups that, I'm not suggesting it's those up here, try to argue their way out of our red status saying “Oh, that's just individuals in a nursing home”- when it's there, it's out in the community. Certainly if you're reading ours and you're reading the White House’s, let's admit there's a challenge in the community, and that it's time to do more, not to do less.
The orange counties: of course Jefferson now in this orange zone, when it had been in red for a while, Franklin County too. Frankfort Independent operating under the zones we put out is doing small pods starting today, because they're in the orange zone. It’s the right thing to do for the health of the students and of the faculty. But you can see the number and the breadth of the state of these orange zone counties. COVID doesn't care if you're urban or rural; it doesn't care if you are in Northern, Eastern, Western, South, Central Kentucky. It can very quickly explode in your community.
And here's yellow, we want to be green, but very few counties are green right now. And the yellow counties that they see- again many of these are kind of riding that wave that we saw Florida ride: that you have a whole lot of cases and because you've had some, you start to taper off, but then what we have seen a numerous occasions, including Louisiana, which was hit early, and then was hit just as hard again, cause if we let our guard down for one minute what can happen.
2020.09.28 18:56 Deborah_heckerHow To Make Love Last In The Age Of The Coronavirus and Telecommuting
https://preview.redd.it/ga37ftlo5xp51.jpg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7a2a8892aac8df72ee3dbf019aaa59221e0ab614 It used to be that work took place in the office from nine to five. Outside those hours, your time was your own — for relationships, family, relaxation, and play. Oh, how the times have changed. The proliferation of technology into every aspect of our lives and, most recently, the outbreak of the coronavirus (Covid 19) have made working from home (telecommuting ) a much more common practice. Telecommuting and the Work-Life Balance: Pros and Cons One of the casualties of this new world of telecommuting is that the lines between work and personal life, which are interdependent and continuously impacting one another, can become blurred and out of whack. It means that one can never really “get away.” They can easily devote hours of private “off” time to work, constantly checking the phone, and “taking just a few minutes” to answer a couple of more emails. Telecommuting means one’s office is down the hall from their bedroom — and just as accessible on nights and weekends. Another potential risk of the blurred lines is that, in the battle for time, work can easily win out. It’s easy to think our relationships will always be there for us and take a backseat to work demands. Working from home with your partner has its benefits to be sure. Love is wonderful and working with the person you love sounds dreamy. However, it is almost inevitable that when couples are thrown together for more days and longer periods than existed when one or both worked in an office, conflicts can arise and place a huge strain on the relationship And that love relationship can quickly turn into a nightmare. You can have sex anytime the mood strikes you! The single most important principle to make working from home with your significant other successful is to become a high-performance team of two. You and your partner need to come together on the same side and identify each person’s unique contributions to the team. Work-at-home couples have the advantage of developing stronger bonds by being physically present more of the time. What we do know is that working remotely presents couples with unique challenges and requires the development of new work skills. We can accomplish this with a new way of thinking and a new relationship skill set. As a practicing psychotherapist, I regard my primary task to assist people to access strengths they may not know they possess or do not know how to access them, so they can cope more effectively with the challenges of life. Tips To Make Working From Home With A Significant Other Successful What does this include?
Appreciating each other’s differences — in work styles, and in work-related stressors.
Knowing how to communicate. This is one of the best indicators of a successful relationship. Learning to listen and talk openly and honestly. Communicating productively is a major part of managing conflict.
Engaging in cooperative problem-solving. Remember, there are two views to every conflict and both are valid. Don’t try to fix each other.
Balancing closeness and togetherness with independence and separateness.
Increasing your personal development. Working remotely requires the development of new skills and qualities, such as good time management, self — motivation, autonomy and being able to set and work towards goals.
With the spread of the coronavirus, the trend for couples to work at home is on the rise and its up to the individual couples to work cooperatively to make it work Learn more — https://www.drdeborahhecker.com.
2020.09.28 16:53 rakslowis it worth it for me (f18) to wait for my ex bf (m18)?
about a month ago, my boyfriend (at the time) broke up with me. So we're both freshmen at college, and I'd say we had a pretty healthy, serious relationship before college. However, most of our relationship was long-distance and we had only ever been in person together for a short three day period over the summer. we would facetime every day or call for hours every single day in the summer though and have been talking for quite a few months before. Anyway, as soon as we both got to campus, we spent the first day together and it was great, I didn't exactly sense that much was wrong. About the second day of being on campus before classes started, he came in and broke things off with me out of essentially no where. Of course i was pissed at the time because the reasoning behind why he broke up with me made no sense to me at all. We didn't talk the rest of the night and we talked the next day and decided to stay friends after he explained that breaking up with me wasn't personal and he was already stressed about school starting and I guess he already had some issues that I wasn't aware of that he would like to take care of first before he can be in a relationship, and I guess he was saying he had some intimacy issues where he's felt problems in the past getting too close with people in person.. that sorta thing. So we stayed friends, continued to have sex, and hang out and treated it as basically the same way as we were if we were dating. Then about a week later, he made it clear to me that still seeing each other was too emotionally stressful for him and that essentially he didnt want to talk to me anymore, at least for the time being. I was pretty hurt, and we parted for about a day and started to talk again. It's been kind of on and off since, but then we've also fucked up a lot in between. Anyway, right after he broke up with me, I was so mad and wanted him to get jealous so I started sleeping around and told him about it which hurt him a lot, (and obviously this wasn't a good move on my end, I stopped that now and I'm seeing a therapist to help with my impulsiveness.) but then I also found out he was lying a lot about saying he was feeling tired and couldn't hang when really he was just not wanting to see me and I also found him spending many nights with another girl, which he says the most they've ever done is made out once because she initiated, and then he told her that they should stop. (again, this is all that he's told me, i dont know 100% if this is true but im taking his word for it). I know that he's mentioned that he's always felt a closer connection to females as friends just because of family type things I guess, and that since there's no past emotional connection to this girl, he feels fine having her be there for him. I guess for me, I'm just kind of bothered because I want that to be me more than anything, but it looks like since there's been so much flip-flopping the past month, that I could see why being around me for the time being wouldn't be exactly a good idea. To add, as of right now, we decided it would be best to not talk for two weeks while he starts to get his shit figured out and catches up on schoolwork, then be friends again after those two weeks. So I'm also worried that in these two weeks we don't talk, him and her will begin to fall for each other, since she already made a move once, she obviously has some kind of interest, and he keeps inviting her to spend the night and obviously she's doing more to help him through this than I am able to right now, since i'm not able to be in his life for these two weeks. He says he isn't interested in her like that for several reasons, but I can't really tell if it truly is platonic on his end or what but it's stressing me out. There was one point where we decided we weren't going to talk for two weeks while he got his shit sorted out, and then after that I would wait another four weeks for him and at that point he believed we would get back together. Then everything flip-flopped again and I guess he's now realizing that his problems are a lot deeper than he expected. So now we're kinda back again, deciding that we're not going to talk for two weeks at all and that we're gonna try and be friends again after those two weeks, because the emotional stress of everything is too distracting for him to catch up on school right now. At this point, he doesn't even know if/when he would ever try again romantically (with anyone) but he said he would like to stay friends. He said that if there was a point that he was ready to date again in the near future, it would be with me, but he doesn't want to make any promises since he believes he has so many issues to deal with. When we've said that in the past, we usually agree then we kinda end up having sex which I really have a hard time saying no to, but it draws so many emotional connections for me, and then the whole cycle of emotional issues just basically restarts. Also, I'm not sure how or if that would change for me in two weeks. I guess my question is, what are your perspectives on this? With covid going on right now, I dont see myself even looking for another partner anytime soon, plus, unless i happened to find someone extremely similar to him, and especially with covid and all would of course would be uncommon, I wouldn't want to be with anyone else. I want to be with him more than anything, and we still have made it clear we love and care about each other a lot, but I do want to protect my own feelings and do whatever I can to help him get better. Based on other peoples' experiences or thoughts, do you guys think it would even be smart to be friends after, and perhaps one day that could lead to us getting back together? or do you think its just not worth it altogether and just drop him completely? I really wouldn't like to do that unless thats absolutely necessary. Or would it be best to just not talk to him until he's completely got his shit figured out (which could be months or even longer?) I love him a lot and don't want to just dip completely from this, especially if there is even a chance that we will get back together one day. I'm super picky about guys I talk to/go out with and just from experience, I believe that his personality matches perfectly with mine for a romantic partner, and he's said the same about me. What are your guys thoughts? edit - i do want to make it clear i wouldn't mind waiting even if this meant months or whatever, but i just dont know 100% if this is a good idea because what if one day he just drops that he doesn't even want to try again romantically and just stay friends forever or even not have me in his life at all? because Im sure i would still have deep feelings for him, which again, i dont mind having right now, as long as there is a chance we would get back together, but obviously if we were only friends forever, that would be hard on me since I have such a strong connection to him. edit 2- I guess I should also add, it was a really loving, great relationship while we were in it. I have never met anyone (male or female) even close to his personality, and we really were best friends and we cared for and loved each other a lot. At least speaking from My end, I was never this happy from anything or anyone else, and we had a lot of great memories and we were always able to work through bad times/problems in the past. I just don’t know what to do because we were best friends / had a strong relationship for nine months, and we meant a lot to each other and we were always there for each other when no one else was
27th September – Lady Vago’s Malediction by A.K.M. Beach
In the blackened heart of a cursed forest, a banshee haunts her crumbling castle with lethal screams. Lady Vago is trapped in this place. She cannot fulfill her purpose as a banshee: to warn her loved ones of their deaths and watch over them while they pass. To solve the mystery of her imprisonment, she must sift through the rubble and ruin that surrounds her. By communing with old paintings, broken furniture, and even the stones themselves, she rediscovers who she was in life. Before she was Lady Vago, she was Rovena Stoddard, a sharp-witted horse merchant’s daughter that caught the eye of a charming baron. Lord Kalsten Vago’s life as a wandering knight was over, but it inspired visions of a better life for his most vulnerable subjects. Rovena was far less afraid of bold change than his staunch and loyal steward, who saw her presence as a threat to Lord Kalsten’s success. Love and shared dreams alone wouldn’t overcome the controversy of the couple’s hasty and unequal union, as well as the trials of governing a fledgling barony—Rovena knew that. What she failed to recognize was the deeper darkness taking root in Vago lands and hearts… Every memory of what Rovena loved is a reminder of what she lost, but she cannot let grief halt her search. Devoted spectres of ash are begging their lady for an end to their torment, and she will not let their agony–or her own–go unanswered anymore. Check it out on Goodreads. --
30th September – The Devil You Know ANTHOLOGY by Various Authors
These heroes might not be angels, but you know what they say…it’s always better to trust the devil you know… Looking for a typical hero tale? Keep looking. These twelve tales explore the grittier side of what it means to make life’s hardest choices and let your reputation pay the price. From back-alleys and ancient cities to graveyards and castle walls, these trouble-makers are out for themselves…or are they? Check it out on Goodreads. --
30th September – Mage Prince (The Mage Born Chronicles #3) by Kayleigh Nicol
Following the fall of the mistress mage and the untimely death of the old king, King Vanikolanestra and Mage Prince Jereshin work tirelessly to end the slavery of the mages of Zarapheth and restore magic to the realm. Old noble families are restored, the mage guild is revived and reparations are made against the old king’s crimes. All seems peaceful as Reshi seeks to set aside his crown in favor of Niko’s child and the upcoming heir ceremony. But as ambassadors from foreign nations flock to the capital to witness the ceremony, latent foes begin to emerge. A band of rebel mages vow to wage war unless a monarch of magical blood sits on the Zaraphethan throne. A foreign delegation from a mysterious kingdom arrive with a hidden agenda of murder and magic. And ancient beings stir beneath the very stones, gaining strength from Laurana’s final bargain. Enemies within and without seek to set Niko and Reshi against each other as the rhythm of war threatens the kingdom once more. Check it out on Goodreads. --
1st October – The Second Expedition (A Thousand Li #4) by Tao Wong
Even the great may fall. Wu Ying’s idle winter, one filled with training and recovery, is throw awry when his Master and Elder Yang return, injured. The Three Seasons poison fills Master Cheng’s veins, slowly killing the powerful Elder. His only hope – a rare antidote. But the ingredients for such an antidote are scarce and located in the deepest wilds. Together, Wu Ying and Elder Yang take it upon themselves to embark on a Second Expedition to acquire the necessary materials. It would be a dangerous journey through the State of Wei normally, but in the shadows, enemies await to finish the job. Wu Ying is once again pitched against dark forces as a Sect war looms. Check it out on Goodreads. --
1st October - We Men of Ash and Shadow (The Vanguard Chronicles #1) by HL Tinsley
Amidst the gas lamp shadows former soldier-turned-mercenary John Vanguard hunts criminals at the behest of his corrupt employer, Captain Felix Sanquain. Shamed by his deserter past and seeking to make amends for his many misdeeds, a chance encounter with Tarryn Leersac – a skilled young would-be-assassin fallen from the graces of high society – leads Vanguard to become an unlikely mentor. Charged with hunting down the killer of two guards left washed up on the banks of the canal, the further Vanguard delves into the underbelly of the city the more he finds himself entangled in a web of secrets and lies. A prominent aristocrat is missing. Crime lords, con men and harlots run amok and the city teeters on the brink of another revolution. With his already precarious reputation hanging by a thread, Vanguard must piece together how and why the last war came to pass, find a way to earn redemption for his mistakes and come to terms with the past in a city where few survive, and even fewer can be trusted. Check it out on Goodreads. --
1st October - Arcanist (Spellmonger #12) by Terry Mancour
A Belligerent Spring Being the most powerful wizard in the world can be a challenge. After defending his fledgling realm against the undead lord Gaja Katar all winter long, Count Minalan of the Magelaw faces a new threat in the spring: the Nemovort Shakathet, favored of Korbal, leading the mighty hordes out of the Penumbra. This time Minalan faces a real strategist, who drives his armies with purpose and efficiency. This time, the road to war leads through Megelin Castle and the vulnerable lands to the south of Vanador. This time, old enemies become allies, and old friends become valuable assets. Just another month in the life of the Spellmonger. War, however, is not what is preoccupying Minalan; the knowledge of the end of the world is. As he broods on existential issues and debates with various goddesses and Alka Alon about Calidore’s fate, he must overcome his own fears and anxieties and impose order on the situation before everything goes into the chamberpot. The solution? Hire an Arcanist, a specialist in the obscure and trivial, to organize and investigate the many matters Minalan has to manage and bring them to order. A busy wizard needs good organization to get it all done, after all, so Minalan hires Heeth the Butler to dive into the details while he prepares to fight the darkness. That buys the Spellmonger time to hunt down spies, taunt the Count of Nion into invading the Magelaw, lend aid to the sister realm of the Wilderlaw, who face their own war against the darkness, indulge his wife’s desire for cheesemaking, make staffing decisions, ferret out a plot to betray him by one of his vassals, and occasionally lead a special forces squadron of high-powered warmagi into battle, which is convenient. He also gets help from a wisecracking bard with a talent for espionage, an ancient intelligence who is suddenly mobile, and an insistent cow goddess, but each new ally is fraught with problems of their own. An obsessive know-it-all with a rare talent for obscure trivia is the right man in the right job. Who knew that the Spellmonger just needed an . . . ARCANIST! Check it out on Goodreads. --
3rd October – Children (The Ten Worlds #1) by Bjorn Larssen
Magni never wanted to be like his father, a murderous, absent, cheating alcoholic: Thor – the feared and beloved God of thunder. When Thor destroys everything and everyone his son knows and loves, Magni vows to stop the violence. His dream is to bring peace and prosperity to the Nine Worlds, then settle down with the man he loves. But is it possible to remain good in a place this bad? How do you escape cruelty in a universe built on it, or the shadow of your father when everyone calls you by his name? Maya knows she’s a failure and a disappointment to her foster-parents. How could a child raised by Freya and Freyr – Goddess of love and God of sex – have no interest in the greatest of pleasures? Obviously, it couldn’t be the torture they subjected her to, or treating her as a tool that might someday be useful. Maya, her rage at their games more powerful than she knows, wants freedom to pursue her own destiny. But how do you forge your own life away from your God-parents when you’re nothing more than human? Check it out on Goodreads. --
5th October – Plight of Madness (The Madness Wars #3) by Jesse Teller
The Drine legions achieve their greatest victory since launching the war, and Tienne seems out of heroes. Simon Bard has fled, the ancient Despelora is missing, and Peter Redfist’s men have scattered. Just when it looks like Rextur will win this war, rumor of an old legend surfaces. Tienne has protectors who should be long-dead. The Sons of Despelora have risen, and the Madness of Drine is not prepared. Check it out on Goodreads. --
6th October – A Wizard’s Sacrifice (The Woern Saga #2) by A.M. Justice
Conquering Fate Takes Sacrifice. Victoria of Ourtown believes two things: that the bright, wandering star in the heavens is an abandoned spacecraft which brought her ancestors to this world and that destiny and the will of gods are nonsense. Vic used to scoff at stories of wizards too, until she acquired their powers. Once a warrior, now a secret wizard, she just wants to live an ordinary life and find a way to atone for the mistakes she’s made. Ashel of Narath knows that the wandering star is the god who created humanity, but this difference of opinion doesn’t stop him from loving Vic. All that keeps them apart is a thousand miles and a tragic loss. Lornk Korng needs Vic and Ashel to execute his plans for conquest. The fact both want him dead is but a trifling snag in his schemes. A bigger problem are the world’s indigenous aliens and an ancient enemy whose victory could wipe out humankind. As plots and counterplots clash across time, Vic and Ashel must choose their allies carefully, or risk losing not only each other but everything they know. Check it out on Goodreads. --
6th October – Wintersteel (Cradle #8) by Will Wight
As the Uncrowned King tournament reaches its final rounds, tensions between the competing factions are higher than ever. The outcome may determine the power balance throughout the rest of the world. Each Monarch schemes to seize any advantage they can…while far away, a Dreadgod stirs. When the tournament ends, the Dreadgod will rise. Whether it will be driven back into the sea or allowed to rampage depends on the Monarchs. And on which of them is left standing. Check it out on Goodreads. --
9th October – Truth and Other Lies (The Nine World Chronicles #1) by Lyra Wolf
The Destroyer is coming to Asgard. All will fall. All will burn… Loki thrives on danger, but when he’s struck by a painful vision of ash and death he knows his fun has run out. The Destroyer is real and isn’t taking prisoners. Refusing to have his life obliterated by some stuffy prophecy, all Loki wants is to save Asgard. But the gods stand in his way. They don’t trust the “Trickster.” To prove himself, he must return to the side of the man he wanted to forget. Odin, his blood brother and a first rate con. When he meets a mortal woman, his plans hit a snag. Sigyn is delightfully stubborn and quick with a blade. She also, inexplicably, possesses a divine element found only in a god. As Loki falls for her, he never expects it to fulfill the prophecy threatening all their lives. Forced to choose between betraying Odin and protecting the woman he loves, Loki must face all he never wanted. …But the truth changes everything. Check it out on Goodreads. --
9th October – Seer’s Light (Tales of Tuatha book 1) by Whitney McKinnon
A phantom rider in the night. A magic bracelet hidden below the earth. An alabaster throne in a fiery palace. If you stumble upon a well-kept secret in the woods, you can bet that life is bound to become…well, otherworldly. Sage Sallow is a quiet girl with a mission. Determined to solve her brother’s mysterious disappearance, Sage soon discovers more than she could have ever dreamed of in the off-limits woods behind Manorport Academy. But when a seance goes awry one stormy Halloween night, dark forces arrive with an agenda of their own. And portals that were once closed are now open. It’s up to Sage and her magical new friends to find her brother— and to save more than just one world. Magic? Easy. But when you’re the owner of a powerful torc with godlike powers, things can get a little complicated. Check it out on Goodreads. --
10th October – A Ritual of Flesh (The Dead Sagas #2) by Lee C. Conley
As evil ravages the north and the dead walk, all eyes fall to Arn… The apprentice journeys south, home to the College, unaware of the dark events that transpired in the High Passes after his departure. His leg in ruins, and haunted by watching shadows, the College council in Arn awaits him, but he does not travel south alone. Arnulf and his warriors must travel to Arn also, with tidings for the king of the risen dead and the terrible curse which has destroyed all that he knew. Arnulf seeks vengeance upon the College, but must choose wisely if he is to save his son. Meanwhile in the west, Bjorn and his strange Wildman companion report back to High Lord Archeon at Oldstones with grim news of cannibal Stonemen encroaching from the Barrens, but is embroiled in news of war and invasion as Archeon requests his service once more. In the capital sickness awaits them all, Nym has fled to the city and must now continue her struggle for survival on the plague ridden streets of Arn, keeping all who she cares for safe from the halls of Old Night. The many threads of this Saga converge on the city of Arn, but amid plague, invasion and terror, a greater darkness is looming. Dark forces are seeking to unleash evil upon Arnar, honour and renown is all, and sword, axe and shield is all that stands between the living and the grasping hands of the dead. Check it out on Goodreads. --
15th October – Gunmetal Gods by Zamil Akhtar
They took his daughter, so Micah comes to take their kingdom. Fifty thousand gun-toting paladins march behind him, all baptized in angel blood, thirsty to burn unbelievers. Only the janissaries can stand against them. Their living legend, Kevah, once beheaded a magus amid a hail of ice daggers. But ever since his wife disappeared, he spends his days in a haze of hashish and poetry. To save the kingdom, Kevah must conquer his grief and become the legend he once was. But Micah writes his own legend in blood, and his righteous conquest will stop at nothing. When the gods choose sides, a legend will be etched upon the stars. Check it out on Goodreads. --
19th October – The Thunder Heist (Twisted Seas #1) by Jed Herne
A relentless thief. An impossible heist. Meet Kef Cutmark. Pirate, monster-slayer, scourge of the Twisted Seas. After a lifetime of running from her past, she’s returned to Zorith – a tangled jungle of a thousand boats, all lashed together to make a floating city-ship. Zorith is powered by a device that draws energy from lightning. Mysterious, unique, and locked in an unbreachable tower, it’s the envy of Zorith’s rivals. And Kef? She’s here to steal it. If she can take the device and cripple Zorith, maybe she’ll find justice for all the hurt the city has caused her. But with an unreliable thieving crew, hunters closing in, and her past bearing down upon her, failure looks more likely. And if she fails, she’ll never find peace again. Check it out on Goodreads. --
20th October – The Chanter’s Blade (Bakunawa Rising #1) by A.A. Lee
The moon-eating serpent is coming. Tasked to complete the seven blades, Makanas has traversed many lands, spending countless gold and waging wars. But when the last chief he has to face isn’t blinded by gold nor fear the blade, Makanas employed his last weapon—deceit to infiltrate his household. Just when he thinks his plan is going well, colonizers who now rule the land uncover the chief’s traitorous plan. Lin-ay, the chief’s secluded daughter awakens the blade to protect her family—something Makanas has trained for and failed. To defeat the giant moon eating serpent, he must get Lin-ay to the bolo warrior village, but first, she must trust him. Check it out on Goodreads. --
20th October – Dreams of the Dying by Nicolas Lietzau
Jaaros Oonai, magnate, visionary, and master of coin, doesn’t muse about whether the glass is half empty or half full—only about ways to fill it. Jespar Dal’Varek, drifter, mercenary, and master of avoidance, doesn’t muse at all. He’d rather just drink the damn wine. Two lives that could not be more different intertwine when a strange contract leads Jespar to the tropical island empire of Kilay, the wealthiest nation of the Civilized World. The mission turns out to be as bizarre as it is lucrative: Jaaros Oonai, the country’s merchant king, knows a secret that could stop a catastrophe, but he has fallen into an inexplicable coma. Together with an ex-priestess and a psychic, Jespar must enter Oonai’s dreams and find this secret. What should have been a fresh start quickly turns into a nightmare, as Jespar slides into a spiral of disturbing dreams, political intrigue, and clashing ideals, where not only the fate of Kilay but his own sanity are at stake. It’s not long before he learns that sometimes only a spider’s thread divides the sleeping and the awoken. And that there’s no greater enemy than one’s own mind. Check it out on Goodreads. --
22nd October – The Soul’s Curse (Astrarose #1) by Cole T. Adams
In the land long forgotten, many secret plots of cultists, Kings, and Gods now cast long shadows across the four great kingdoms. Broken treaties and assassinations will only be the beginning as dark magic creeps beyond sight. Enraged beasts are being manipulated, while others cast curses and steal the very essence of life. As these schemes begin to come to fruition, Aeric – a young warrior- becomes entangled in the web of misfortune and adventure. Now he must train in the way of the elites of old to challenge the evil within. Joined by new friends, Aeric will travel the lands of Astrarose, battling many of the foul creatures and enemies that plague the world around him. He will soon find out that unraveling the king’s plans has dire consequences. Check it out on Goodreads. --
26th October – A Queen’s Command (Legend of Tal#2) by J.D.L. Rosell
The legend of Tal Harrenfel lives on, and a new song spreads across the Westreach. But as a devil inhabits Garin and old enemies and old flames haunt Tal, their victory promises to be short-lived… Tal, Garin, and their companions survived the traps of one Extinguished at great cost, but their troubles have only begun. Garin having learned why Tal took him under his wing, the secret has broken them apart, even as circumstance and need force them to travel together. The roads to the elven realm of Gladelyl, once the safest in the Westreach, are rife with danger. And Tal is bound to the commands of the Elf Queen he cannot trust. Upon reaching Elendol, the capital of Gladelyl, they find their troubles go further. With the gates to the East open, Elendol is in turmoil. The nobles strive for greater power, while the underclass and Eastern immigrants seek new rights. And all the while, an ancient enemy strives to turn them all against each other… Now Garin must come to terms with his devil, and Tal with his challenges both past and present, before civil war tears Elendol apart… Check it out on Goodreads. --
27th October – The Alchemyst’s Mirror by Liz Delton
Petra and Maisie Everturn just want to run their family’s tea shop, but when their explorer brother Jiordan goes missing while looking for an alchemycal artifact, none of them are safe. The sisters must enlist the help of another explorer in order to find Jiordan or the artifact—before the mysterious alchemyst society finds them first. However, when one of the sisters stumbles into the clutches of the most dangerous alchemyst in the city, the race to unravel the clues becomes desperate. And when they discover the truth about the artifact, their quest to infiltrate the alchemyst’s secret society becomes a matter of life and death. Check it out on Goodreads. --
28th October – Past Legends: An Arthurian Fantasy (The Camelot Immortals #1) by A.F. Stewart
An immortal witch of Camelot. A looming magical crisis. A destiny she’s willing to reject. All Nimue wants is a peaceful life, but her past won’t leave her alone. And when her friend Iseult brings news that her old rival Morgawse has been abducted, an impending catastrophe lands on her doorstep. And worse, the wizard responsible is Nimue’s ex, Nostradamus. Dragged into another adventure, Nimue confronts her former flame as he wages a desperate quest, only to be thrust deeper into an escalating crisis. As Nimue struggles to unravel what is happening, she discovers dark secrets that threaten the heart of magical energy. Now it’s her fate to rescue magic for every witch and wizard, including her friends. Trouble is, she wants no part of being magic’s saviour. Will Nimue step up as a champion? Or will she let the magical world die? Check it out on Goodreads. --
31st October – A Darkness Beckons (Hollow Fate #2) by Todd Herzman
A seeker has a holy mission, to cleanse the Kharleon Empire of magic—and then the world. On the island of Gailopas, Ella wakes from a coma to find that not only has her sixteenth birthday passed in her sleep, but she’s also lost her powers. She has her family back, and together, they defeated the God King. But without her magic, she feels lost. While Ruben and Jesriel sail to the Albion Dominion, to defeat any blood mages left over after the God King’s demise, Ella and Marius journey to the Tahali mountains. They travel to the monks in search of aid, and—Ella hopes—a way to get her powers back. On their way, they pass through Hirlcrest, the capital of the Kharleon Empire, where they find a peaceful monk being attacked by a seeker. The seeker vows to wage war on the Tahali monastery, and it’s up to Ella and Marius to save the monks. Check it out on Goodreads. --
31st October – The Devil’s Day (Lucky Devil #3) by Megan Mackie
You can always find help at the Lucky Devil. Rune Leveau—emerging Talent and one-time corporate prisoner—knew that better than anyone. She’d rebuilt her life at the Lucky Devil bar, with her Aunt Maddie’s help. Now, in her aunt’s memory, Rune continues that legacy. But when it is time for the Devil to collect his due, Rune could lose it all… With the days counting down until she must defend her claim to the House of Magdalene—including the bar—Rune and her partner, the cyber-spy St. Benedict, hunt for a way to defeat her challenger, the fire Talent, Abraxas. Instead, they uncover long-kept secrets. But do they hold the key? No matter what, the Devil will have its Day… Check it out on Goodreads. -- Space for more…
2020.09.28 14:28 findinganswer12310 reason I can’t stand Pam Beesley
I can’t stand Pam “Beasley” from the Office. I’ve been watching the office and I can’t stand Pam. I give Pam chance until the end of series to make me go oh she’s not so bad, but no, I can’t stand her even when curtains fall. Other than giving emotional support to others, She’s just a little girl, so annoying to me and here’s why: First, She leads guys on but acts innocent! She engaged to Roy who she doesn’t really like but never tell him. Like come on, I know Roy isn’t the best boy friend for you but you gotta tell or dumped him instead of flirting with Jim who you clearly knows you’re into each other while making Roy clueless! It’s emotional cheating and Roy trusted you! When Jim dated someone else, she also let Toby showers her with affection. Come on Pam, how hard it is for you to tell Toby you’re into somebody or something? Second, she’s all about “honesty” but lies in multiple occasion. For example She scams the company to be a position that doesn’t exist. Third, she quits for everything and Play the victim. Nobody force you to go to art school, nobody force you to quit your job and join Michael company, and nobody for sure never force you to be a salesman! And guess what she still does and play the victim when something goes bad. I mean when she was in Michael company, she wasn’t a good salesman, guess what she did? Goes to her old job trying to get her back! Like come on Pam. Make up your mind and own your own decision! Forth, She doesn’t support Jim and Michael if it doesn’t benefit her! Michael has been the only one who support Pam arts and in multiple occasion trying to help Pam. What does Pam gives him back? So little support when Michael dated her mom. Constantly complain about Michael. Almost cross Michael by trying to leave his company when he needs her. Jim, a great husband always listen to Pam. Guess what she did? The only time Jim finally has a dream and pursue it, she decided not to support it when it’s inconvenient. Passive aggressive about investment Jim clearly has talked to Pam before going to invest and already apologize for not telling her he agreed. Complaining about possibility to move to Philadelphia and has to take care of children on her own when Jim is chasing her dream which by the way, it would helps them get financial freedom if he succeed. Oh let’s not forget how he’s happy when Darryl thought he didn’t get job in Jim company. Like I’m sorry if you want ordinary life full of misery but don’t bring Jim and children to this. Fifth she’s all about image. There are multiple occasion Pam holding back from telling the truth and let others take the fall. For example when Meredith got lice and everyone blames her, in fact it was Pam’s fault. Guess what she did? Stay silent and let Meredith takes the fall. Sixth. She’s always need help and somehow makes others think of solution. When her mural got broke down, she called a fake meeting and doesn’t even have an actual plan. Like come on Pam, everyone else has to plan the revenge for you? Oh Irrelevant but don’t forget in that Episode Pam gets the camera crew fired for protecting her ass who can’t stand up for herself. Eight, shes a bad partner. In season 9, again she repeats the pattern on season 1 where shes avoiding talking to their partner and consoles to other men instead. In this case, she console to the cameramen. She has nerve to ask Jim “what’s the matter?”. You Pam is the matter! Then, on later episode, Pam consoles to cameramen once again asking if Jim has changed just because he’s into work. He’s chasing a dream in a startup! What do you think it’s gonna be? He works 9 to 5 and has a lot of time to fill your selfish little girl need? Don’t forget he also has make time for children too. Gosh Pam. She also makes it seem like she’s perfect in couple therapy. I don’t know if Jim deserves all of this Nine, she indecisive but annoyed when someone else makes decision for her. When she finally makes decision that’s holding Jim back to pursue his dream, she’s the one who needs to be consoled! Jim is the one who has to assure her! Are you being serious right now? You take Jim away from his dream and you’re the one complaining? Afraid he’s going to resent you in years from now? Hell if Jim going to resent Pam, it’s his right! You did force him into giving it up. Ten, the only thing that Pam says learn from documentary is how much she’s stalling. Really Pam? That’s all you learn? How about appreciate someone? Stand up for yourself? How Jim actually loves you? And let me tell you, the way she sold house in the finale so Jim can pursue his dream is not fast enough. You need strangers to come up to you and make you see how selfish you are? Thanks to Pam, maybe, Just maybe, Jim can’t even join athlead anymore cause it’s too late. Have she ever thought of that?
2020.09.28 12:06 sje397The action of people on the Way is like fire melting ice - it never becomes ice again
Master Xuansha said to an assembly, The way of Buddhas is vast; it has no standard course. No door is the door of liberation; no thought is the thought of wayfarers. It is not in past, present, or future, so you cannot rise or sink. Definition defies reality; it does not belong to creation. Stir, and you produce the basis of birth and death; stay still, and you get intoxicated in the realm of torpor. If movement and stillness both disappear, you fall into nothingness. If movement and stillness are both taken in, you presume upon Buddha-nature. You simply must be like dead trees or cold ashes in face of sense data and objects, while acting responsively according to the time, not failing to be appropriate. A mirror reflects all images without that disrupting its shine; birds fly in the sky without mixing up the color of the sky. Therefore there are no reflections in the ten directions, no traces of activity in the triple world. It does not fall into the mechanics of coming and going, nor dwell in thought in between. There is no sound of a drum in a bell, and no sound of a bell in a drum. Bell and drum do not interchange; statements have no before or after. Just as a strong man does not need to borrow another's strength to extend his arm, why would a lion roaming seek companions? There is no blockage in the nine skies - how is it a matter of piercing through? The single light has never been obscured. If you arrive here, your being is at peace, you're always clear. The glowing flames of the sun are boundless, unwavering in the sky of complete awareness, engulfing heaven and earth in light, shining afar. The Buddhas' emergence in the world basically has no out or in; terms and descriptions have no substance. The Way is fundamentally as such, natural reality, not the same as cultivated realization. It only requires being open and free of preoccupation, not befuddling activity, not getting into the mud of sense objects. Herein, if there is the slightest incompleteness of the Way, you become a subject of the king of demons. Before expression and after expression are points of difficulty for students; hence when one expression is really accurate, eighty thousand doors are forever closed to birth and death. Even if you get to be like the reflection of the moon in an autumn pond, the sound of a bell on a quiet night, ringing unfailingly whenever struck, not scattered on contact with ripples, this is still something on the shore of birth and death. The action of people on the Way is like fire melting ice - it never becomes ice again. Once an arrow has left the bowstring, it does not come back. Therefore they won't be kept trapped, and will not turn their heads when called. The ancient sages did not make arrangements; even now they have no fixed place. If you arrive here, you ascend into the mystery with every step, not in the province of wrong or right. Perception cannot discern it, intellect cannot know it. Stir, and you lose the source; consciously notice, and you miss the essence. Those on the two vehicles tremble, those in the ten stages are shocked. The road of speech is cut off, the sphere of mental activity disappears. Hence we have Shakyamuni shutting off his room in Magadha, Vimalakirti keeping his mouth closed in Vaisali, Subhuti preaching no explanation to reveal the Way, Indra and Brahma raining flowers without hearing. If it is evident in this way, what would you still doubt? Where there is no abiding is beyond past, future, and present. It cannot be limited; the road of thought is cut off. It does not depend on arrangement or embellishment; it is originally real and pure. Activity, speech, and laughter are everywhere perfectly clear; there is no lack anymore. People of the present do not understand the principle herein, and mistakenly get themselves involved in things and sense objects, getting influenced everywhere, getting bound up everywhere. Even if you awaken, sense data and objects are still profuse; names and descriptions are not real. Then you try to freeze your mind, rein in thoughts, reduce phenomena to emptiness, shut your eyes, break off thoughts as they arise again and again, and suppress subtle thinking as soon as it arises. Views like this are characteristic of outside ways that fall into nihilism, dead people whose ghosts have not yet departed, dark and vague, unaware, unknowing, covering your ears to steal a bell, uselessly fooling yourself. If you discriminate here, it is not so. This is not standing by the door, at the corner of the gate. Each expression is evident, not open to debate, not literal. To be fundamentally beyond sense data and objects, fundamentally without ranks, is provisionally called a leaver of home, ultimately without tracks or traces. Reality as such, ordinary and holy, hell and heaven, are just prescriptions of obvious lunatics. Even space has no change - how can the Way have rising and sinking? When you are enlightened, you are free in all ways without leaving the fundamental. If you arrive here, ordinary and holy have no place to stand. If you fabricate ideas in expression, this drowns students. If you run seeking outside, you fall into the realm of demons. Real transcendence has nothing to arrange. It is like a blazing furnace does not hide a mosquito. This principle is originally even; what's the need for leveling off? Activity, even raising the brows, is the real path of liberation; it is not forced or calculated. Setups are contrary to reality. If you arrive here, nothing at all is taken on; set your mind and you miss. This is the coming forth of a thousand sages; you cannot label it at all. You have been standing for a long time; take care.
- Cleary's translation of Dahui's Treasury of the Eye of True Teaching, 516. "The action of people on the Way is like fire melting ice - it never becomes ice again" - Zen masters are not talking about a state of mind that one enters and leaves. They are not talking about being a Buddha when by sitting mindlessly on a cushion, and returning to 'normal life' when the time is up. This 'trying to freeze your mind, rein in thoughts' - this is the quietism they so vehemently warn us about. This is death, not life. There are a million things that can't be put into words - the taste of orange, your partner's smile, the void of a thoughtless mind... These things aren't Zen, according to what Zen masters tell us. "Activity, even raising the brows, is the real path of liberation". That's why there is a tradition of discussion, and a tradition of question and answer. If you can dig out the thing that can't be described, through questions and discussion - well, Xuansha says 'nothing at all is taken on'.
This will be slightly long so starting from facts I have confirmed from my spouse; BM died of a drug overdose after getting postpartum, she has never really been involved in SD life. Spouse never wanted a baby but agreed to help raise the child expecting the sole "wanted" would help too. Now he has a ten year old and has a bit of deep rooted resentment that he is a dad, somewhat projected unintentionally to the child. When her mother was alive, I know she was an alcoholic and may have fed toxic milk to SD. That being said, the child has had a very "easy parenting life". We've been together three years and when we had begun dating with SD at age seven, she was always on an iPad and had no responsibility to speak of. Bombed school every year, had no chores, and as I came to find out to present day, no personality. Her dad has implemented some good chores and through sports and crafts we have tried to get her to spark passion in something. She doesn't seem to care for anything. Increasingly, I have noticed her odd behavior in comparison to many other children I know in the same age group. They all ask questions, have goals, are generally excited for new things or adventure. She is indifferent toward just about everything. She never requests this we friends, visit family. Never asks questions about things. She is awful at problem solving and will do something the hard way for hours before asking someone for help. This child has done some pretty odd things. For instance, she's ten and at nine and a half, we had rearranged her room to not be next to the ceiling fan anymore. After going to bed she sat there for two hours staring at a wall. I noticed the light on and asked what she was doing up. She said "waiting for someone to turn my light off". I said, "How would we know that? You could have flipped the light switch." She said "Oh." and proceeded to do so. A lot of very basic, weird problem solving like that she can't seem to think up herself. Ever. Her dad gets drunk on occasion and talks about how he resents being a father. I resent being the only thing she has as a mother. I can't connect with this girl at all. She reflects nothing personal about herself to either of us. She's very closed off, quiet, never asks anything of anyone. It's so odd. . .and my partner is preferrenced to raise her by feeding her and buying toys to substitute the lack of want to parent, talking on occasion. I think I speak with her more than he does. I am not maternal. I help discipline her, I schedule play dates, family visits, and I do things with her. I try to bring her to the nail salon, clothes shopping, try to do arts and crafts at home together. She's just. . .dull. Unenthused. Doesn't care about anything at all. Lived with her for two years now. We don't know what to do and psychiatrists/behavioral therapists are so booked or limited in our area due to covid. I express my concerns and my spouse hears me and wants to help her but we can't right now. She's so blank and glazed over, it creeps me out when he's not home. He works really long hours sometimes and I'm always trying to read articles and find help somehow. Everything points to sociopathic behavior which scares me more. I don't know what to do. I don't know if she's like this because of lack of interaction paired with a constant screen in front of her face or there's legitimately something wrong. The school has her on a 'watchlist', they say they have seen the same unusual behavior I do. I just don't know. I'll answer any questions you have or try to.
2020.09.28 07:13 PleaseCallMeTallThe Waiting: How The Flip of a Coin Decided My Fate as a Tramp
I looked up, bleary-eyed, squinting against the morning sun streaming through green leaves. Squirrels were playing in the bushes and vine-covered trees above my head. I took in the objects surrounding me: suit jacket, electric bass guitar, sombrero, empty water canteens, old trash from the last hobo who slept here. There was a cramp in my ass, and I rolled over and pulled a partially-crushed lime out of the pocket of my fitted corduroy pants. Somehow I'd managed to unpack and crawl into my sleeping bag. I assessed my own body. The stale taste of old beer in my dry mouth. That very particular type of soreness that comes from sleeping on the ground, after too many nights in soft beds. Head spinning and ears full with the sound of commuter traffic rushing past on its way to work. I had passed out in an overgrown median outside a ritzy golf course in Mobile. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The show at David's old family home had been a success. Two local bands from Alabama opened, followed by two visiting New Orleans bands; “Big Leather”, and David’s own “20,000 Leagues”. Months earlier, before the pandemic, David had worked with Big Leather to record an album full of billowing, sometimes-thumping-sometimes-soft tunes. Their sound landed between The Cure and Bruce Springsteen. I'd laid down saxophone parts for that album, sitting in David's Mid-city living room, drinking PBR's from his fridge. Since cutting the record, I'd watched the band go through different bass players, until I finally mentioned that I had a Fender Jazz and could learn tunes in time to play their release show. Now the record had gotten airtime on independent radio stations in Louisiana and New Jersey, and I was the official fourth member of the young group. We were set to play in Mobile, live, for the first time in nine months. I arrived at the backyard shack where we often rehearsed, and realized that at 2:30 pm, this was the earliest in the day I had ever seen these friends. Our drummer Ava sat with lead guitarist and singer Leo in makeshift chairs, on the grass of the backyard. They were dressed as 1960's White America ready for a night out. Him smoking Camels and smoothing the hemline of his crisp black pants, her staring off a little, red lipstick mouth set in though, cocktail dress flowing in the breeze. They both had their black hair slicked back, and you could see where the ends were still blond from being bleached several months ago, for a photoshoot. These cats would look a little square from a distance. Ava's clean-cut look is betrayed by her tattoos, though, and the fact that she actually made that dress out of fabric found in a trash can. The dark circles under Leo's bright blue eyes are an indication of another nearly-sleepless night; hours spent pouring over old recordings and fervently creating art. Aesthetically, Leo and Ava were in a different world from the crusty wooks and hardened train riders with whom I used to travel. In terms of ideals and beliefs, however, these young new accomplices were about as punk as it gets. This distinction of style has taken some time for me to grasp. Authenticity doesn't require dirt, and alternative living doesn't have to mean homelessness. We loaded up the van with music equipment, personal gear, provisions, and a 2-year-old Pit Bull named Elmer who never seems to belong to anyone but is always around when we play or hang out. We were still waiting for Chris, so I walked the two blocks to the corner store. Mask on, stooping a little to get under the low doorway into the dim bodega. Friendly Puerto Rican guy behind the counter, talking about coaching his son's soccer team. Two small isles surrounded on three sides by glass-faced refrigerators. I paid for snacks and beers and ducked again, snagging a firm, green lime on the way out, from a box that read "FREE LIMES - SHARE THE LOVE". Chris had their nose buried under the hood of the van when I returned. "Think she'll make it?" I called, surprising them. Chris emerged, dark curly hair bouncing at the ends where it was still dyed blond. They peered out at me with big, intelligent brown eyes from behind oversized grandpa glasses. The mustard-yellow t-shirt and rugged brown slacks fit their friendly and consistent Taurus personality. Chris’s reply was a smile and a gesture to the top-end of the rusty Ford V-8 that sat obscured like a caved bear in the deep engine compartment. "Your brother checked it out a few days ago” They replied, "I changed the plugs and wires. I think we're gonna be good as long as the tires hold." We stopped on the way to pick up my partner, Nat. She brought her adolescent dog, Ori, who was like a smaller, condensed version of Elmer, with darker brindle fur and more spastic energy. Nat's halo of golden curls seemed to frame her whole being. The tight black denim and "don't fuck with me" makeup all contained by an oversized, genuine leather motorcycle jacket. I leaned forward as she climbed into the van, and she rolled her eyes and kissed me. By the time we stopped for gas on the way out of town, the dogs were already losing their shit. They bounded impossibly over the bench seats, going back and forth between the front center console and the rear cargo bay. They tore around in circles, wrestling, teeth bared, on the mattress in back, spilling beers and spreading dishevelment as only excited dogs can. We departed and Chris coaxed some speed out of the 15-passenger Ford E-350. The Odometer only ready 38,000 miles, but being from 1990, and as the mile counter only had five digits, it had almost certainly rolled back to zero once if not twice. Chris did a head check and pulled into traffic. I yelled "Band Trip YEEEUUP" and cracked a lukewarm IPA as we sailed up the freeway onramp. As soon as we settled into cruising speed, an ominous shaking started from the rear end. The windows chattered audibly and the bare metal doors clicked as they jiggled. It was almost comical how insistent the shaking was, but the music was turned up and the van seemed to be rolling fine. Chris yelled over their shoulder "Yeah, I noticed that two of the tires had eggs in them. Is that bad? It's probably just from bumping into the curb, right?" The din continued. https://preview.redd.it/xe5nj6gmmtp51.jpg?width=1582&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9b22e5662ff714e9a482f61a758aada3b3563ec2 https://preview.redd.it/qm88o5gmmtp51.jpg?width=1528&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=91adea69fec25a28390403c6043e120da55b58f5 We made it 30 miles before sudden smack and a loud slapping clank from beneath the van indicated a blowout. It took almost an hour to dig out the full-sized spare and remove the eight big lug nuts to replace the wheel and tire. A Louisiana Department of Transportation truck stopped to shield us from traffic, and helped inflate the spare a little. We thanked the overweight DOT guy in his bright-neon work clothes, and hit the road. https://preview.redd.it/c6db621ymtp51.jpg?width=1383&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=80263d20660919e2af917e0f276b62bdc9dce487 https://preview.redd.it/nxav631ymtp51.jpg?width=1093&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=adb8c020528ee31eb339787a5cde2381e4bb7cc7 There was a moment of euphoria after we got rolling again. We'd survived a trial together, managed to keep the dogs from running out onto the highway, cooperated to dig through all of our stuff and access the tools and parts needed from the interior of our temporary shared home. After all of that, just the feeling of moving brought gratitude. I smiled and thought of traveling in sketchier vans through more dangerous places for weeks on-end. Even with the stakes much lower now, still the triumph of making miles was potent and golden. The second tire blew about twenty minutes later, this time catastrophically. A sickening BANG-SLAM-SCRATCHSCRATCHSCRATCH issued from the right-rear wheel well. The rear end of the nearly 20-foot-long vehicle started fishtailing. Chris had to pull evasive maneuvers to keep us from spinning (and likely flipping.) Traffic was blowing past us on both sides as we lost speed. Cigarette butts bounced from ashtrays, beer somehow hit the ceiling headliner, dogs slid from the bed to wallow and flail on the greasy floor. Nat exclaimed in her matter-of-fact Tennessee drawl "Ohhhhh Jesus take me!" We avoided getting crunched by any big rigs and came to a stuttering stop on the shoulder. Dust rolled, the motor died. Chris looked back from the driver's seat. Their glasses were askew and they seemed to have spilled coffee on their shirt. "Is everybody okay??" There was no damage done to anyone besides the upholstery, but now we faced a tight spot. The van only carried one spare tire, We were still in the middle of Mississippi on our way East, and the show started in an hour. Our whole operation was halted, on the side of the I-10, and the sun was going down. The first blown tire was actually still intact (sort of) so we limped up the nearby exit ramp and into a parking lot. We waited, smoked cigarettes, used the dingy gas station toilets, made phone calls. The van could get towed that day, but not fixed. Two of the guys from another band had their cars at the show. If they left now and maintained speeds that mildly endangered the public, we might make it in time to perform. For now all we could do was sit and wait. https://preview.redd.it/27pfh923otp51.jpg?width=1106&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cc81c2c56ffef07fb2170a395be2ef1f5c0c7749 https://preview.redd.it/xpgzv423otp51.jpg?width=1516&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=62daacd34151198d6129aae9929af357eae25ca1 https://preview.redd.it/5sbdhf23otp51.jpg?width=1462&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=17e1afd04dca135458b22e2925d5480f01874aa4 This was one part I had sometimes missed about traveling; The Waiting. So often you find yourself stuck at some junction or obstacle and the only options are to put yourself in the best position to get a ride somehow, or just start walking. Those hours and days start to become a replacement for home. The Waiting is when you fix your gear or practice your instrument. Those are the personal moments when you groom yourself, rub your tired feet, take the time to eat and recharge. You bullshit around with your friends or play with your dog for a while, eventually things mellow out. You have to learn to overcome boredom, to sit comfortably with your own mind. This can be the scariest thing about living free from the bonds and distractions of conventional life. Your phone's eventually going to die. You're never going to be able to carry enough books to keep you occupied. The beer will run out. When you sink deep into The Waiting, your inner monologue will be the loudest voice. When everything is stripped away, your own mind is left to be confronted. Wherever you go, there you are. Eli Danger screams into the parking lot in his Subaru Legacy and rips an E-brake turn, squealing tires and throwing the rear end of the car in a 180 degree spin, stopping right in front of our little group. We jump up, arms outstretched, cheering. His car is nearly as old as the van, but in much better shape. Eli is my brother, an auto mechanic by trade, and the best drummer I know. He booked it out here to the Middle of Nowhere to bust the rescue mission. Zach the bassist follows soon after in his pickup. https://preview.redd.it/yzxnezibotp51.jpg?width=1845&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=deacaac7f3b31862866fda24a316436995612529 We throw all the gear in the bed of Zach’s bright yellow Ford Ranger, thanking him and Eli profusely. The girls and the dogs and I pile into the Subaru while Leo and Chris go with Zach and the gear. A stretch of driving east at breakneck speed gets us to the outskirts of town, past the strip malls, off the wider byways into the winding suburbs. Mobile seems to do this thing where streets shooting off of multi-lane roads run parallel, so you kind of have to dive in off the bigger highway into the smaller, slower road. It's sketchy, but people here seem to have gotten used to the move. We almost get creamed by a beater of a minivan as we're making our turn. It's dark by the time we pull up to the house on the hill. They have a big backyard. My concerns from weeks earlier about neighbors are quieted, seeing how much space there is between these ritzy, Southern-style ranch houses. We're not the Ninth Ward anymore. The dogs explode out of the car, bounding up the hill, Ori nipping at Elmer's haunches and barking her small, high bark. As the lengthy sound of bass carries down to us, that familiar feeling of anxious excitement comes over me. How long has it been since I've seen live music? When was the last time I played on a stage for people? Do I still remember how to dance? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The show was a hit. We'd made it to catch the last two minutes of music from the act ahead of us: Alabama band "The Glutton". Big Leather played six or so tunes. I thumped out basslines along to Ava's bass drum foot, while Leo and Chris wailed and churned, trading lead and rhythm guitar roles back and forth. Leo's singing evoked The Smiths that night, more than ever before. 20,000 Leagues ended the night, and killed it. They're a full six-piece, with rhythm section and two guitars, a keyboard player who's actually legitimately good at tambourine, and David caressing the microphone out in front. A little drunk by now, I grabbed Nat to dance, about 30 seconds before the song ended. I smiled goofily. She let me spin her around one more time before she sat back down in the grass. The next tune was a ballad, so I shrugged and walked over to stand closer to Zach the bassist, to watch him work. For a while, all was well. The music finished. Friends milled about until the pizza was killed. It soon became just the musicians and David's parents, sitting around an outdoor patio table. Beers progressed into whiskey and tequila. Cigarettes started to smell of ganja. Popper whiffs were passed around from the little brown bottle. Brain cells were killed, glances were stolen, things were said, cards were dealt, jokes were told, chairs were fallen out of, and bushes were sought out for hearty pissing. Nat was mad, and she had crossed a threshold of intoxication. We went in circles about the hotel. I tried to explain, feeling suddenly stuffy in my rockstar clothes. "Hon, we can't do anything about it. It's late, we haven't checked in, and there are tons of people still displaced from Hurricane Sally last week. We're probably just gonna crash here. They have a shed..." The night got fuzzy. We kept going back and forth. A frustration rose in me, one I've known before. A color of impatience and irritation. Despite having held down a house and a job for years now, I can’t untrain my brain. It’s still The Waiting. I knew it when I was scrubbing furiously in the dish pit, working hard and late for not-enough-an-hour to pay my rent. I knew it when I was running after the city bus, praying it would stop, knowing that I had to make it out to the audition in Jefferson Parish, because I needed that gig. I knew it when I walked past traveling kids in the French Quarter and recognized them but knew that they didn't recognize me anymore because my hands were clean and wore no patches and I carried no pack. I knew The Waiting and its frustration and anger, when the police raided my black neighbors. An undercover cop posing as a homeless man trespassed in the empty house next to mine, without a warrant, looking for crack that wasn't there. The shaved-head, crossed-arms, black vest standing out front blew me off, saying "there might be guns in there, we have probable cause" Ten dudes showed up to handcuff a skinny 61-year-old man on his own front porch and march him into his unmarked SUV. They found less than an ounce of weed in his house. I Waited then and I was Waiting now and after the trials to get here the the triumph of the show and the hurt of the woman I love ragging on me, I snapped. "You know what? I don't need this. I'm out." I stood up and grabbed my pack and boots out of instinct. I grabbed my instrument out of habit. I pushed the sombrero back on my head, thanked David, and walked through the gate and down the hill. She didn't follow me. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I don't know how far I walked that night, but it felt like I was flying. My steel-toed boots felt like the powerful legs of a swift mounted beast, carrying me through the unsuspecting night. God, how good the fresh air feels, how lovely are the trees when you're passing them at a brisk walk instead of at freeway speeds. I made it a little over half a mile on that initial surge, that momentum from making a bold and foolish choice. But my pack was heavy. I knew I'd need to adjust the straps, rearrange how it was loaded, retie my boots a little tighter. I stopped and sat on a bench and stared into the night for a while, watching cars pass, drinking water from my metal canteen. "I should go back." "Maybe I need this. I want to keep moving." "Let's flip a coin. Heads we turn around and go make it up to Nat. Tails we go to the train yard." *ding* *piff* "Tails. Sorry hon. This isn't the kind of coin you can flip on a bluff." "Let's do this." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Part 2 coming soon? Heads Tails
2020.09.28 06:14 SJess93HLF Turning into a LLF and Slowly Dying Inside, After Dating a LLF and Unsure What to Do
I am a 27 year old HLF, dating a 28 year old LLF. We have been in a relationship for what is soon to be 3 years this November. I’ve been really wrestling with the ins and outs of the relationship probably since the first 6 months, but I didn’t really start to notice trends and really start to navigate through the “what ifs” until this last year. I’ll try to provide the back-story below, leading up to my current day dead bedroom scenario. Please forgive the novel. I’ll try to give the TLDR of this at the very, very end. We met online & we talked for maybe a week or two before meeting. I was fresh out of a casual relationship with a dude, while she was fresh out of what I thought was just a dating relationship with her female ex. I didn’t find out that she was fresh out of an engagement until after I caught feelings for her, which really should have been a wake-up call to me, but alas, red flags are my fashion of choice. My gf has been the 2nd woman I’ve ever seriously dated. I wanted to do whatever it took to ensure that my current partner wouldn’t dump me so mercilessly like my first gf did. On our first date, we realized that while we came from different upbringings & social groups, we both had came from really fucked up home lives, both with blended families. We trauma-bonded BIG TIME over our various levels of abuses suffered by our parents. I remember gravitating towards what felt comfortable, normal, familiar, and I was tired of random hook-ups. I wanted to settle DOWN with a woman, get married, the whole nine. My gf asked me questions about religion, marriage, kids, politics – all of the hot topics that are supposed to be big no-nos on a first date, but my dumb ass was just relieved to have a female be able to hold conversation with me. I had told her that for the right woman, I would consider having children and all of that jazz. But that I was perfectly content not having my own – my pets filled my maternal thirsts just fine for me. She always wanted kids, and she claimed that she was hitting her maternal clock and how she always wanted to be a young mom, yada yada. This will become significant eventually. We ended up fulfilling the cliché U-Haul move, but it wasn’t necessarily because I truly wanted to co-habituate so soon. When my gf’s ex called off the engagement, she got kicked out of their old house in a town about 45 minutes away from where I was and my gf moved in with her grandma. She was staying with her grandma for maybe a few weeks. My gf told me that she didn’t feel safe, sleeping in her grandma’s basement, and that she had to sleep with a knife and her concealed carry gun each night. Gf told me that her middle sister hung out with a rough crowd, that the sister was in and out of trouble with the law, and that she didn’t sleep well at her grandma’s house. My gf would come over to my apartment often in the evenings to spend time with me and nap before she would work nights at her old job. My gf would tell me how much at peace she was with me, how much better she slept, all of that. I would get love bombed a lot and she was all about telling me, “I love you”, well within the first month. I felt horrible for my gf, so I eventually offered to let her stay with me, if it meant that she were safe and sleeping better. She moved herself in and has lived with me since… When my gf and I first met, my gf was frail-thin, cutting herself, and she claimed that she was off of her medications. She told me at the beginning that she had BPD (which I now question), but I know for sure that she has depression, anxiety, and CPTSD. When she was off of her medications, she was very mentally and emotionally unstable, but she was very affectionate and sensual towards me. She has had a history of sexual trauma from her childhood, so I was always mindful of this. I wanted explicit consent and permission before anything happened between us, because I’d hate myself for pushing her to go further than she wanted to, etc. I asked for her permission before our first kiss on our first date, and I asked her permission before we slept together on our second date, etc. Once she had lined herself up with getting medications again, that’s when I started to notice a shift in things. The medications leveled her out more and they helped with the cutting and insomnia. The medications, however, started to make her go more numb, yet cold, yet neutral. It was like, “Okay, I’d rather her want to live and not go off the deep-end, versus wanting to kill herself but she wants me more.” I used to take us out to hockey and basketball games, concerts, restaurants, all of that to “wine and dine” her. I loved spoiling her and I loved making memories together with her, since I’ve fallen into the “pursuer” role, or the “dominant” role at the beginning. Sex-wise, I prided myself as being higher libido – I’ve had more partners, more experience, more of an open-mind. She has had a limited amount of partners and her drive is fairly low. It used to be fine, because we were still pretty decent friends and there was still emotional intimacy between us. We used to go once or twice a week. Then to once a week. Then once or twice every month. Then once every other month. Then it was once every couple of months. Now…it has been four months and counting. There has always been an unbalanced relationship between us…though I am younger, I am the breadwinner of the household. I either cook our meals or I am paying for take-out or whatever for meals. I can count on one hand the number of times that she has fixed the both of us a meal in the last 3 years. I do 95% or more of the cleaning. She cleans only when she wants to re-arrange rooms or if we have family or other visitors over. I take care of our pets. She has been allergic to my cats since day one and she absolutely *cannot* stand them. Nor does she ever medicate herself to help treat the allergies. On a small handful of occasions, she has told me that she felt like I cared more for the pets than I did for her; that if I truly cared for her and her wellbeing with her allergies, that I’d get rid of the pets. She is generally very mean to my cats…a bit nicer to our dog, but minus the occasional potty break, she basically has nothing to do with him, either. She never helped contribute to rent until we moved into our 3rd rental space. I have paid for a significant portion of rent, all of the utilities, and both of our phones for the duration of our relationship, which has slowly but surely been bringing me down financially. I made some very terrible financial choices over the last few years – from taking out personal loans, maxing out credit cards, letting bills go to collections – because I was doing all of this on my own while also trying to keep us all afloat. During the first 6-12 months of the relationship, my gf always wanted me to be around her whenever I wasn’t at work. She used to get insanely jealous or insecure or weird whenever I’d want to see other friends or want to go to the gym. She’d want me to go to all of her rec team games for softball, which would be 2+ games daily for 6 days a week, plus any random weekend tournaments. We used to text throughout the day as well on a consistent basis. The possessiveness started to die off as the months go by. It has completely gone in the completely opposite direction, especially in the last year and a half. As I started to notice that I was letting a lot of BS slide, as I started to notice that boundaries were continuously getting crossed, I started to slowly stand up for myself. I started being more direct versus passive aggressive. I’d start to talk back to her or defend myself. We started having a lot of the same fights, which infuriated the absolutely H**L out of me. I’m the kind of person that doesn’t want to go to bed angry and I want to work through stuff as it happens, whereas she is the kind of person that would rather stay mum about it and sweep it under the rug. For probably the first year and a half, she pretended like there was absolutely nothing wrong in our relationship; she’d get annoyed or angry whenever I’d bring stuff up. If I ask for us *both* to work on our issues, I’m met with passive aggressiveness or I get stone-walled. If I try to have a high-level, calm, adult conversation with her, I’m attacking her and telling her that she’s completely at-fault for everything. If I actually can get her to engage with me during a disagreement or a fight, I’ll ask her why she is raising her voice at me or yelling at me. If she does engage with me, she tends to try to talk AT me or talk louder than me if I don’t back off or if I am not agreeing with her. I’m accused of villainizing her. I can metaphorically throw myself off a bridge and tell her that I’m at-fault for absolutely everything and that I want better for us, that I want us to try and do better, that I want mutual respect and trust among us…and there is still no personal accountability. I don’t get apologies from her when I’ve gone to her and I’ve told her when she hurts my feelings or when she has angered me. I don’t have her coming to me and owning any of her sh*t. I’ve asked on a handful of occasions if we could go to couple’s therapy or if we could go to therapy on our own, so we both could begin to work on ourselves and begin to heal. I’ve told her that I need a partner to walk beside me and to move forward or I needed a partner that would get behind me, because it has been exhausting for things to not improve. I’ve told her on more than one occasion that the ball has been in her court, but she doesn’t act upon anything. One of the biggest repeat fights that we’d have would be over family-planning. She wanted me to carry a baby *for her*, since she isn’t able to conceive. She has wanted to be married and have kids and all of that since the very beginning. We decided to eventually compromise and we became dually licensed fosteadoptive parents last year. This temporarily brought back the love-bombing and things were on the up and up, or so I had thought. We were nearing our 2nd year anniversary, so I financed an engagement ring for her shortly after our first foster kiddo came to stay with us and I was going to propose to her during the weekend of our anniversary. Long-story short, the trip turned into a very dark weekend get-away out of town with a small group of people. My gf never thanked me or anybody else for their efforts to get us out of town to the west coast and she treated me like shit the entire weekend She also completely forgot our anniversary. Due to this, I didn’t bother proposing and I kept making bi-weekly payments on a ring that she hasn’t ever been given. From September of 2019 (two months before we got our first kiddo) to March of 2020 (when he got reunited with his mom), we weren’t intimate at all. I was given the run-around and various excuses in the book. She was working two jobs and was exhausted, she was tired, she had migraines, she wasn’t in the mood, she had canker sores or cold sores. If I’d go to her and ask if I could do something differently, she’d deny it and say no. When I’d go to her and check in on us as a couple, I wouldn’t get anything from her. When I’d go to her with my frustrations and insecurities, she’d tell me, “But I tell you that you’re beautiful all the time! I tell you I love you all of the time!” Even if it had been months since she had last uttered the words. We were intimate on her birthday in March, and maybe one other time after in March. I started going to a therapist in April to begin tackling my self-worth, self-esteem, and my relationship problems. Fast forward then on my birthday in May, when my gf gave me duty sex. Since my birthday in May, we haven’t been intimate. We took in a newborn foster kiddo in June and that completely put a wrench in our already broken dynamics. My girlfriend stays at home with the baby full-time partially due to saving on daycare costs, partially because of our kiddo’s medical needs. My gf has gone into hyper-active, overly protective, ultra-possessive mode with our newest kiddo. She has insisted on having our baby co-sleep with us since we took her home at a week old, much to the discomfort and disapproval from me. The child was only put in a bassinet maybe 2 or 3 times total when she first came home before my gf converted it into a catch-all for clothes and other BS. She wanted (and still wants to) hold the baby during most of the day, do almost all of the feedings and changings, and do all of the interactions. Which has made it virtually almost impossible for me to grow any sustainable parenting skills. Even though the baby now has a crib in the master bedroom, the baby still gets to sleep in our king-sized bed every day for all sleeping. My partner claims that the doctors have zero issue with the baby sleeping in the same bed as us (which I don’t believe). My partner refuses to let us put the baby in the literal crib that was installed and put in our master bedroom. As soon as the baby came home with us, I immediately noticed a massive switch. My girlfriend will be doting, warm, loving, verbally and physically affectionate with the baby. Lots of kisses, lots of hugs, lots of the general things that parents do with kids. But when it came to me…all affection, attention, expression ceased. If I went to try to hold her hand, she would shutter and pull her hand back. If I tried to touch her back or just touch her in a platonic, non-sensual way, she’d act like my touch was burning her. She’d often roll her eyes at me or give me a look of disgust if I tried to flirt with her. I started to notice that she wasn’t saying, “I love you” before we’d go to bed or after phone calls…when we used to pride ourselves in saying this to each other daily for years. When I asked if we could try to put the baby in her crib, so that we could have the bed to ourselves again, she got so disgusted with me and claimed that she couldn’t even consider doing anything with me, especially if the baby was in the room, even if the baby was completely asleep. I hadn’t even brought up sex at that point, but I was wanting our bed to ourselves again so that we could even share some sort of physical attention, like cuddling like we used to do. Whether I was direct with her or passive aggressive, everything I bring to her attention regarding our dying relationship just seems to trigger her more. It’s been slowly killing me inside over the last several months, coming out of denial that my relationship is dying and basically only a relationship by title only. When I most recently brought up that I felt like I’ve been emotionally neglected and that my need weren’t being met, how I felt so utterly unattractive, so unwanted, so unlovable, my girlfriend got pissed at me and stated, “Oh, so you’re basically saying that I’m abusing you. You’re saying that you’re back in an emotionally abusive relationship again, much like with your ex [I had an ex male partner of 5 years who was manipulative, mentally unstable, emotionally/mentally abusive, and he tried to rape me while drunk once and he once threated to hurt me physically]. You think I’m abusing you like HE did. Not only that, but you must still be in LOVE with him!” Between the tensions between us and me having a COVID scare back at the end of July, I started to sleep in my spare bedroom in my apartment. After getting over being sick and trying to sleep back in the “master bedroom”, I couldn’t handle the tensions between my gf and I, so I have basically been sleeping in my spare bedroom pretty consistently for about 2 months now. I take the baby’s old room with the queen, while she and the baby sleep on the king in the master bedroom. The last fight that we had, she had admitted to me that her family wants her to take herself AND our foster baby and move out of the apartment. Her family wants her to move into her grandma’s place and her family wants her to leave me. My parents both have wanted me to dump my gf apparently for ages now, but I just learned not too long ago. My friends and my therapist all have been pushing for me to make a decision, but I’m “over-analyzing Annie” and I’ve been dragging this trying to make this relationship work for years. TLDR: gay AF, anxious-attached HLF dating an avoidant-attached LLF. Broken relationship of 3 years, basically dead bedroom for 2.5 years. LLF refuses to admit to falling out of love and attraction for me. I’m a chickenshit and won’t leave and I need help coping and how to move forward.
2020.09.28 05:17 TheGuy789Regarding Problems with the Discord Server
(TL;DR at the end of the post) Hello everyone! I hope you're all doing relatively okay. As some of you may know, there is a link to a Discord server on the subreddit's sidebar. This subreddit has a partnership with said Discord server. It's more or less the designated Discord server for gumball. With that said, while we are partnered with the server, we are still two different entities. What flies on the Discord server might not fly here and vice versa. The subreddit and the server have two different sets of moderators and two different rulebooks. That is to say, what happens here doesn't have a bearing on the Discord server and what happens on the Discord server doesn't have a bearing here. Some of you may ask "where are you going with this? Why are you ranting about something so trivial?" Well, occasionally, whether it be through mod mail or a separarte public post, there is somebody who is having trouble on the Discord server and feels this subreddit is the space to complain about. Every time this happens, I turn them down, and every time, this specific issue becomes a little more frustrating. At one point, one person messaged the subreddit three times about their problems with the server, and I had to turn them down every single time. As one of the more active moderators on the subreddit, I'm not part of this Discord server. I have no means of getting involved in the issue even if I wanted to. I'm only one moderator, however. There are nine others who are at least semi-active. Who's to say that the other moderators don't have any swaying power on the Discord? Let me illustrate you a picture. Of these at least semi-active moderators, three of them are not even part of the server. Of the remaining that are part of the server, only two of them have any power on this server. They are two people in a team of eight Discord server moderators. The point is that the majority of the subreddit moderators are functionally useless in regards to any problems you may have with the Discord server. Why am I making this post so suddenly? Well, an hour or so ago, another person came to complain about the Discord server, and I was growing tired of being given an issue that most of us cannot even solve. However, if people are coming to this subreddit again and again about their problems with the Discord server, then it's partially on us for not clearing up the distinction between the two entities. This is the purpose of this post— to say we're not the Discord server, and if you're having issues with that: sorry, we cannot help you. For now on, any posts made to this subreddit about issues you have with a ban from the Discord or a specific Discord mod will be removed. Any mod mail sent about a Discord rule or a certain Discord user will be met with a similar response: we cannot help you. Continuing to bother the subreddit about your problems on Discord may result in a ban on the basis of spam. Alright, I said my piece. Carry on with your day. Take care and stay safe! TL;DR: The subreddit and the Discord are two separate entities. Posts complaining about the Discord will be treated like spam. We. Cannot. Help. You. With. Your. Discord. Problems.
2020.09.28 02:39 BearLair64Wendigo Nation: Clementine's Folly - Part 1 of 2
In a cavern, in a canyon, Excavating for a mine, Dwelt a miner, forty-niner, And his daughter Clementine. 1905 CE Luke huffed and puffed his way down to where his team had hidden their raft at the trail head. He had to get away from the whispers… the wails and cries in the night… from the blood, and the constant fear of death stalking the forest. No matter how rich the strike, it wasn’t worth his life. At first, he and his partners had been able to write off the noises as wind in the trees and rocks, then wild animals, then… lost souls? **** * **** Francois was on night watch the night after Big Ed saw the apparition. When Ed claimed, “I seen some sorta pale, skinny, spiky… thing in the trees that was way too tall for any man or beast.” Frank had been the only one with the temerity to laugh off the tale. “Big Ed, prolly dreaming, eh? T’inkin’ about tall skinny women, all pale in de moonlight. Maybe you saw some kind of loup’garou, non?”. Big Ed had bristled and no one with sense would prod too hard at the large, rough-cut character, though it was questionable how much sense Francois possessed, “Look Frank, all of you: I don’t lie and I don’t dream. Ain’t got that kinda ‘magination no-how. I seen what I seen, but I don’t rightly know for sure what it was. Coulda been a spook or a ‘roogaroo’, no idee. So, do what you want, I’m keeping my rifle and my blades to hand.” He glared first at Frank and then at the others to determine whether anyone else wanted to have fun at his expense. They apparently did not. Francois simply shrugged and walked toward the entrance to their cave to assume his post. They’d taken to staying inside the front part of the cavern rather than outside in tents; it was better shelter. They needed some time to ensure that it was a rich vein and not just a few striations. They had also decided to gather a fair share for themselves. Might as well take home a small fortune in case they were cheated or ran afoul of robbers or met with some other misfortune that had taken the lives of so many others who’d sought wealth in the vast empty spaces of the Klondike. All things considered it was probably a good idea to take guard duty in turns. There were six of them, so it worked out well, half a night’s loss of sleep, every third night, was a small price to pay to sleep well the rest of the time. Francois shook his head at the memory of the account by the decent but poorly educated man from far south of the border, Louisiana, he’d claimed, and his angry diatribe about, “spooks and roogaroos out in the woods”. His shift was more than half over, so he’d be able to sleep soon, when his relief, Charlie assumed the role. He started and his heart pounded savagely when he heard a screeching wail out in the trees but far too close for comfort. It could have been an owl… but the tones were deep and harsh and contained elements of longing and… hunger… the hint of bloodlust… they spoke of something fouler and more dreadful than anything in the natural world. A low hum started and rose in volume; a chant, disturbing and mesmerizing all at once. Then a woman’s voice, “Cooommm-ah, Com-ah wi’ me…” **** * **** “I tell you, Frank never even tried to wake me. I drank some extra coffee so I’d be sure to be awake for my watch, but I still slept an extra couple of hours. When I awakened, Frank was… gone.” Charlie, the other geologist besides Luke, shook his head and wore an expression of curiosity mingled with fear. “I reckon he just stepped out. Maybe something got him, maybe a bear or some wolves.” Luke, the leader for the expedition nodded. “Well, no point in stumbling around in the dark. Soon as it gets near dawn, wake the rest of the crew. We’ll eat and at first light make a search.” As the first rays of the sun illuminated the area around the entrance to the cavern, Luke gathered the remaining members of the party. “George, you are our best tracker, you want to take a look before we go traipsing around and messing up the signs?” George, a compact, taciturn man, nodded and proceeded to study what signs were available in the hard surfaces in front of the cave mouth and the soft loam beneath the trees. Once out among the trees, he began to look in earnest to either side of the trail they had worn for themselves. Presently, he returned and reported, “Not much, ground is too hard, and the forest floor is soft but mostly dry needles. A few scuffs on either side of the trail. Definitely more than just one person walked out that way. There may be a trail that leads off toward the overlook we found above the cavern. Just a few prints in the needles; they ran deep, like someone or something carrying a heavy load.” Luke, George, and Big Ed set out to look for their missing companion. Charlie and Bob remained behind to watch the camp and to be ready in case Francois returned on his own. The trio of trackers ranged for a few miles before George called a halt. “Look, we’ve been on rocks for a while. Even full-blooded Injuns can’t track over this stuff. Unless we find a sign, something someone dropped…” He stopped and followed Ed’s normally vacant gaze, now squinted in concentration on a small boulder. On it, folded neatly, were a bright red scarf and matching stocking cap. “Them was Frank’s.” Big Ed mumbled unnecessarily. They continued their search but found no other clues. By late afternoon, Luke called a halt to the effort and they returned to base camp empty handed. That evening over supper, they decided to double the watch. Big Ed and George were tired but excited by the daylong search, so they took first watch. They didn’t talk much. It was against George’s nature and Big Ed just didn’t have much to say. They both sat quietly, looking into the small fire they’d lit in case Frank was out in the dark and lost. “Hellll-pah!... Come… hellll-pah!” Frank’s voice emanated from the stygian gloom now enhanced by the loss of their night vision from staring into the flames. Big Ed rose precipitously, the way he did most things. He grasped his twin knives in his hands and stared around blankly. George stayed down low and gripped his rifle. “You think that was Frank?” Ed rumbled. “Sounded funny, like maybe he was hurt.” George nodded, though Ed was not looking at him to see. “I don’t kno…” The voice interrupted him, “Commmme…Need Hell-pp!” True to his nature, Big Ed charged precipitously toward the sound. George called out to stop him, but the large man was already dodging his way among the trees and into the deep murk of the forest. George followed for a few paces and then realized that he would never find even so large a man as Ed under the circumstances, so he settled for waking Luke and the others. **** * **** Ed ran and dodged and did his best to listen. Eventually he called out, “Frank! That you? Where you at Frank?”. He was rewarded with only the sound of his ragged breathing in the cold night air. His vision had returned a little and the half-moon light penetrated into a small space between the fir branches, not quite large enough to be called a clearing. Through a gap in the trees, he saw movement. It was stiff jointed, all angles and rail-thin limbs. He made out a wide spread of antlers, an elongated and twisted countenance full of hatred for life and lust for dead flesh. That head rose… and rose more, to an impossible height. The gaunt and pallid apparition turned its gaze upon him and Big Ed Toups, who’d been hiding here in the wild for killing a man with his knives; toughest of a rough crew, fainted dead away from fear. The last sound he heard was startled laughter coming from either side of his recumbent body. **** * **** “Hhmmmmn…” George growled. “Definitely Big Ed’s tracks and it looks like he hit the ground. A little dirt to outline where his head rested… and there! The dirt mostly covers it, but that’s blood.” They searched further but if there were more signs, they’d been deliberately obliterated. Luke gathered the remaining crew near the bloodstained patch of ground. “We have to go. No idea who or what is hunting us, but they’ve managed to take out our two biggest and meanest. What do you say boys?” The agreement was unanimous and enthusiastic. Charlie spoke up, I say we get back to camp and gather what we can. Besides, Bob is on his own, if we’re being hunted…” They hurried back as best they could... …There was no sign of Bob, though he’d packed up his gear and had it ready to go. Apparently, he’d come to the same conclusion about leaving as they had, all on his own. Then he’d just as apparently left… only not on his own… a smear of bright blood that ended in a crimson handprint on the wall near the entrance of the cavern spoke to his fate. They loaded minimal gear and maximum gold. They unashamedly took the shares of the three missing prospectors and divided them up as evenly as possible. The missing men would be unlikely to need the treasure and it had already been extracted, so… …It got dark before they completed the trek to the river. They found a nice campsite with a rocky outcrop that would protect them from behind. Luke suggested that they take watch in twos with him on a long shift that would overlap the other two watches during the deep part of the night. The tired campers were soon snoozing, whether on watch or not. “Hurrrrtt… Need helllp.” Bob’s voice awakened the trio. The sound came from below, toward the river. The men looked at one another in fright. “Was that really Bob?” George asked. “Sounded strange, maybe… hungry?” Charlie shuddered and then sat shivering and frozen in place. Luke gave the order. “Everybody stay put. I don’t think that’s Bob. I think it’s whatever has been luring us into the woods.” He eased back the hammer on his old Winchester ‘73, “Yellowboy” rifle that had belonged to his father. “I think that we’re all on watch until dawn. “Charlie. Charlie, you alright?” Charlie started when Luke repeated his name. He looked at him as though he was a stranger, then looked at George in a similar manner. He gazed all around, into the encroaching darkness. He bowed his head and shook it, then mumbled, “I don’t think I’ll ever be right again.” “Hellll-ppah!Come hell-pp!” The voice rose in volume and pitch. A rhythmic chanting, initially almost inaudible, ensued. Eventually wails penetrated the air to punctuate the rising tide of the quasi-tune. Moans and whispers spoke of hunger and need… of empty bellies and soulless plight. Charlie bolted upright and scrambled to his feet. Before Luke or George could stop him, he ran out into the dark, screaming, “Stop it! Stop it! Stop…” His last cry was cut short by a wet, crunching sound and a whining whimper, with the hint of a bubbling whistle as he expelled oxygen from an open wound in his airway. The sounds ceased abruptly. They were replaced by odd murmurs beyond the feeble light of their watch fire. Then a roar burst from above them, over the top of the rocky outcrop. The two surviving prospectors rose and bolted together down the mountainside towards the river. Luke looked back as they left the circle of light and thought he saw a large silhouette of a bullet-shaped head that rested directly on a pair of impossibly broad shoulders as it rose above the outcrop. He fled away into the forest and did his best to keep up with George, who was more experienced at moving in deep woodlands. They ran past several figures in the night, one of which was of gargantuan height but thin in a way that bespoke the grave. Its pale outline nearly glowed. Then the men heard a gut-wrenching sound: Crack! Followed by a rumble that issued from above and behind… avalanche! Luke jinked hard to the left while George continued to run all out straight ahead and away from his companion and the falling rocks. The sounds of tumbling boulders and all too human screams of fear and pain stormed quickly after him. Luke found a tree that had fortuitously fallen upslope during some long-ago storm and dove into the hollow of the root ball. The rumble of the tumbling boulders and other detritus swept up in the rockslide evolved into a roar and he choked on dust and felt the sting of gravel as most of it pounded downslope on either side of his shelter. One large stone careened off the old tree trunk and sailed over his head and body, to land just a few feet downslope. Once it all settled, the entire mess resolved into a field of boulders and rocks sprawled among the verdure of the lower slopes. **** * **** He didn’t look for George; even a swift man could not outrun Nature in the form of rolling stones. Some other entity, large and fierce; possibly, prayerfully, benevolent, had started the slide and interrupted the evil spirits that had set up downslope with their murderous plots. Luke decided right then that he’d be back. He still held the nuggets in his pack. Perhaps enough to start or buy into a mining company. He’d have to get back to Whitehorse to file his claim. A trek he would have to make on his own once he’d crossed the wide water of the Yukon River. **** * **** 1908 CE Light she was, and like a Fairy And her shoes were number nine, Herring Boxes, without topses, Sandals were, for Clementine… …“Flynn the Fiddler” sawed on his eponymous instrument and warbled out the darkly humorous tune he thought so fit for the setting. After all, the mine company was called, “Clementine’s Folly”. The mine itself was set in a hollow with a drop-off from the mountain, rather than in a canyon. The hollow was like a large dent in the mountain, like a titanic fist had struck the slope and then poked a finger into the surface at the deepest point. Apropos for the song none the less, and there was a nice cavern instead of a mere shaft. Not much by way of an audience or prosperity in his current location: he was surrounded by miners rather than prospectors, but he was far away from the long arm of the RCMP, which was all to the good in his estimation. Likely, many of his companions were here in this remote camp for similar reasons. In any case, he was on his way to Alaska, might as well change countries, he’d be no loss to Canada. The Klondike Gold Rush was coming to a close as a new century dawned, but there was a nice vein nearby, discovered a few years earlier, not by the romanticized single old coot with a lone donkey, but by a small company of prospectors, a least a couple of whom had some grasp of geology. Flynn wondered why they’d looked here though, very remote and while not too far from the river, it was still a random selection in the wide wild map of the Great Northwest. Yet it was not his worry; people in this type of settlement did not care for people asking too many questions and a poking nose could be severed. My voice is already nasally enough, he smiled to himself. Not that these folks were choosey. A dozen or so customers sat scattered around the little saloon building. “Whispering Pines Tavern” a sign pretentiously proclaimed from the plank that rested on two empty barrels and made up the surface of the bar. The establishment’s owner, Claude, had informed him that the plank had been the city sign on what was now a ghost town from a boomtown that had gone bust when their local mine had stopped producing. It had been incorporated into a sledge and then re-purposed for a bar top on which he had added the word, “tavern”. The plank had traveled from wherever it had been felled, to the mill, to a town, then to a jury rig sled maker, then up this little mountain… quite a journey for an old knotty pine. He felt that it served its purpose nicely and was sure that its final service would be to feed the fire in the central hearth of the little saloon. Flynn told the story to himself in more poetic terms than Claude had rendered it; to make it memorable. He saw the door to the back room swing open and a grinning miner emerged, followed quickly and quietly by a young woman, girl really, of the First Nations, possibly a Kutchin or a Hän. She shuffled over to Claude at the bar and spoke with him, Flynn knew that it was to determine whom she would service next and to ensure that Claude had the money before she escorted the next john into the back room. Four women had to service around fifty miners. Claude liked to say that “The fifth hole, that made it ten to one, was the mine itself”. Luke Preston the owner-manager of the mine operation kept promising to bring in more women, but the mine kept everyone busy enough. The locals probably wouldn’t like the way their women were used but other than these four, Flynn hadn’t seen any Native people in the vicinity. Strange… **** * **** The first big storm of the season struck before Flynn managed to clear out and head back to civilization, so he now sat in the warmest building, the “Gathering Hall / Office / Church / Quarters for Luke”. It was not much larger than the saloon but contained only one room and log benches, though one corner was covered by a hanging curtain. Luke stood at the front of the room, “Alright folks, we are getting to a point where we will need more equipment. The main vein looks like it may go on for quite a piece. Plenty for us all to be wealthy. However, we have to survive the coming winter. We’ve laid in a good supply of food and dry goods and ammunition with which to hunt. Plenty of blankets and furs and boots. Look out for one another and…” he paused, and his gaze went distant for a moment, “Don’t go chasing out into the forest if you hear queer sounds or… voices.” There was a general questioning rabble of comments and questions, and he held up his hands for silence. “The wind makes some crazy, odd sounds. It can fool you, like a mirage in a desert. The night birds are strange too. I haven’t told this tale often. The team I led to look into this cavern was… well, we had some misadventures and they were killed, including my business partner Charlie LePenne. We were down on our luck prospectors, too late to the dance for the Klondike Rush, but we ran across an old Kutchin down in Whitehorse. He told us about a haunted mountain that was full of gold. For a bottle of whiskey, he went from giving us dire warnings to giving us directions on how to find the place. Once I got the mining company started, I bought his daughters, so he was able to achieve his lifelong goal and drink himself to death. You might have noticed that the sweet ducklings who work at the tavern, rarely stray beyond the outhouses; they are terrified of the trees. Just, please, stay around camp as much as you can. There are definitely bears, wolves, and mountain lions. That’s enough to keep anyone in camp and they make some pretty odd noises as well. The supply team will head upriver for the additional gear as soon as the storm abates. They should be able to make it back before the next snow arrives. We’ll be in our little camp and our cavern for a long winter that will end with us all bathing in wealth come spring. For those last few of you to arrive, the settlement and the corporation is called, ‘Clementine’s Folly’. It was going to be called ‘Clementine’s Reward’, but after Charlie and the others… it seemed like we’d invited ill luck on our endeavors, so a less happy sounding name was in order…” **** * **** Drove she ducklings, to the water, Every morning, just at nine, Struck her foot against a splinter, Fell into the foaming brine. Winnie scrubbed her sister Dotty’s back. Their sisters had already bathed. They used the same tub and the water had cooled to a little below tepid. It took a great deal of effort to bring in water, heat it, and transport it to the tub. Yet Claude insisted that they wash themselves, at least the important parts, each day, so that they would be fresh and disease free for the miners and of course for himself. The young women shared the work as they shared the burden of their primary trade. Claude gave them a fair amount of food and ensured that they had what care he could provide, with the promise of severance pay when the mine ran out of gold. There were worse patrons; their father had been one such. Before he’d fallen so far into the depths of alcoholism, he’d taught them about their people and customs and legends. They knew that the place in which they found themselves was cursed; haunted by an ancient and evil set of Spirits… the Wendigo, who’d started life as human cannibals. They rarely ventured outdoors and never alone. Besides the supernatural fears, they were each concerned that they would be accosted by the miners. Inside the tavern, the men behaved themselves or faced Claude’s considerable wrath, soon to be followed with firing by Mr. Preston. Yet outdoors, with no witnesses… there was no one to take their parts. It was a boring existence and being cooped up all the time, led to thoughts of wandering… of leaving this lonely and awful place full of ragged, dirty strangers who wanted only to use them. After her own bath, Winnie took a moment to slip outside and just around the corner, to watch the first flakes of snow drift to the ground in the freshening breeze. The cold air gave her a slight shiver and led her to nostalgic thoughts of her childhood, when her mother still lived, and her father lived outside the bottle. She heard whistling out among the trees, not the distinct call of birds but rather a breathy, mournful sound… it soon turned to a light, almost inaudible chant, and then evolved into something coherent, “Come-ah… child-dah”. Winnie started when she realized that she’d heard actual words, inserted into the pauses in the chanting. “Coooomme…” the voice, a woman’s, rattled in her senses. Her shivers turned to shudders of horror. This had to be a Spirit, and if it was, it had to be Evil since it was in this place. She started to turn, to rush back inside to the comfort of her sisters and the warmth of the central hearth fire. Yet there was a longing in the sounds that wafted among the ever-thickening snowfall. A miserable loneliness that echoed her own. “Sweeeett-tah…. Chil-dah… come-ah…” the voice entreated. At last, she did. She took a few hesitant steps forward. Down the short lane between the last few tent cabins in this part of the encampment. She would be fine here, among others, even though they were unseen and mostly unheard as they sheltered in their little dwellings. The wind increased. She knew that soon, Dotty or one of her other sisters, Nana or Na’kah, would come out and call her back inside; back to the miseries and the dirty men… The voice had begun to sound like a much nicer option, a comforting presence that sounded so much like… mother… yes, that was mother calling!It had to be, no one else would care enough to come for her. “Yyesss… sweeettt childah… come-ah…” the voice penetrated the new whistles of wind that now accompanied the eerie, whispering trills that had first caught her attention. She was now past the last of the structures made by the outsiders. She was under the welcoming trees. She was inside the forest of fear that felt like… home. **** * **** Ruby Lips above the water, Blowing bubbles, soft and fine, But alas I was no swimmer, So, I lost my Clementine. “We gotta find her, she’s outside in the snow. I looked in the outhouse, she ain’t there. I saw some tracks heading out to the woods. The snow is getting bad, she’ll get lost.” Dotty entreated her sisters. Nana shook her head in annoyance, “Winnie is always getting stupid notions, but even she ain’t stupid enough to walk off into the trees when a storm is starting. She’s probably with one of the miners, maybe they offered her a nugget, or she took a shine to one; or they took a shine to her.” Na’kah giggled, “S’true, a few of them are decent enough and not just bucking ponies in the sack. Some even warsh themselves.” Dotty assumed a worried expression, “We gotta tell Claude. He’ll help. He don’t want nothing to happen to us, especially Winnie, she’s his favorite.” Nana’s expression soured further, “Now listen fool girl, we don’t want Claude to get upset. He’s promised us that when the mine plays out, he’ll give us a cut and we can go on our way free and clear. Winnie is flighty but she ain’t stupid. We’ll just have to work harder until the snow stops. She can make it up to us by taking on some of the rougher men tomorrow.” **** * **** Winnie had followed the voice until the camp disappeared from view behind her and then she saw It. The towering presence, all spikes and antlers, the elongated features loomed towards her and the mouth gaped open. A hideous wail issued from the depths of that orifice as bony hands seized her from either side and a filthy palm settled over her mouth. They lifted her as she thrashed and struggled to free herself, or at least break free long enough to scream for help. Yet the bony hands were many and strong… …She lost track of time and sank into a miserable stupor. She felt warmth and her head cleared enough to take in her surroundings. Faces surrounded her, both male and female. A few wore disturbing grins, full of filed fangs that bespoke foul appetites. They stank and many of the eyes rolled in madness. Eventually a male, taller than the rest approached and yelled at them. His language was clearly related to her own as well as English and French, though he spoke in a nearly unintelligible manner. He loomed above her and pounded his chest, “Nok-Cha!”. That was her introduction to her new mate, the leader of this faction of the Tribe with a name none of her people would willingly speak: “Wendigo”. **** * **** “Where’s your sister at, where’s Winnie?” Claude menaced Dotty, upset with the silence from her sisters and her. “I… I don’t know. I… we… looked for her when the snow started but we couldn’t find her.” Dotty stammered and her sisters looked around in panic, huddled on the edge of the cot nearest the main room. “If you’d told me, I could have taken some men and gone out to find her. Now the storm is dumping snow. Who knows for how long?” He shook his head, “We got men lined up ready to go and only the three of you to take care of them.” He looked each of them in the eyes in turn and then shouted, “Get to it, you lazy slobs!” **** * **** The snow was early in the season and not too deep once it had stopped falling by noon on the following day. Claude, true to his word, took two of the camp men who typically hunted to supply meat for the denizens of Clementine’s Folly, and struck out into the forest. Dotty had wanted to go, she pointed out the last known direction of travel for Winnie. Yet Claude had told her to stay put before he tramped out to look for her favorite sister, the only one who cared about her in this world… …Claude, a determined look on his face, called his companions to notice, “See here, tracks. They lead towards… well, deeper into the trees. Gets pretty dark in there.” The hunters agreed and they decided to take out their firearms in preparation for action should the need arise. They continued their trek, which led, along a circuitous route, toward the same area as the cavern entrance of the mine through the ever-darkening shade of the forest. None of them commented that the snow had fallen after the girl had left the camp and would have covered her tracks. Presently, Boudreaux, a large man who favored a bright Voyageur’s cap, grunted, “Something out there, eh.” He stared ahead and used a flick of his chin to indicate the direction of the, “something”. His partner, Tibbedeaux shortly added, “Antlers? What kind of…” He cut off when he saw what lay beneath the antlers, the long, distorted face that rose well above the ground, and the bony, spiky body that worked in ways that were… wrong!“Merde!” Claude registered the apparition as well. He was much less familiar with the wild places than the hunters, so it took longer to comprehend it as a threat. To their right, a long, loud, mournful wail, full of pain and bloodlust erupted and attracted their attention. It was followed by a breathy plea, “Helll-pah! Cooomme, Hell-pah!” “That was Winnie!” Claude exclaimed and took several steps towards the calling voice. Boudreaux and Tibbedeaux called out as one, “Stop!” and Boudreaux added, “It’s not her.” Claude continued to look toward the point from which the voice had initiated. “I don’t see…” He was interrupted by the female voice once more, “Hell-pah!Need Hellpp now!” He charged forth into the heavy foliage, and called, “Winnie! I’m coming girl!” Boudreaux chanced a look at where he and his partner had observed the strange being. It was no longer present. He nudged his partner, “Come on, let’s catch the fool.” … Claude rushed forward and continued to call. He caught a glimpse of a pale figure to one side of his path and paused, “Winnie! That you?” He felt the hard impact on the back of his skull and then secondary impact from when he landed on the snow-covered ground. Afterwards, he felt nothing more. Tibbedeaux called to his friend, “Boud, not so fast, we need to stop and listen.” Boudreaux complied… they stopped and strained to hear whatever they could. They had strayed near a rocky outcrop. “I think we are near the cavern.” Tibbedeaux added unnecessarily. “At least if we followed the rock wall…” He froze and from behind them came the call of their former companion, Claude, “Helll-pah! Come Hellpp… Hurrr-tah!” the voice trailed off as if it had run out of breath. That voice, so full of distress and hunger… of need. Tibbedeaux began to walk toward the voice, “Claude! Come to us, eh. You hear me?” A moaning wail echoed from the rock face and then a disquieting silence set in around the men. After a moment, a low… chanting began, just on the edge of hearing… rhythmic, filled with enticing female voices… Boudreaux cleared his throat and looked in the direction of the cavern, “I think we should go to the mine. Luke will be there, we can get more men, uhn?” He turned his head back to see his friend disappear into the trees along the trail they’d followed. “Tibbi! Where you going?” he called fruitlessly. The man kept walking, as though in a trance. He looked down and shook his head in frustration, “Come back…” His call was interrupted by a choking noise from up ahead. A squeaking exhale as if Tibbedeaux’s throat was constricted. A sharp, bloodied point erupted from the back of the man’s neck, accompanied by a small spray of blood. Boudreaux stepped forward; he raised his rifle as he did so. Yet he stopped abruptly. There was nothing he could do for his friend, he reasoned, so he turned to race toward the mine, only to feel an intense pain as a sharp object entered his guts and began to twist and wrench. He grunted and vomited blood onto the rocks near his feet. A pale spiky being stood before him. It lowered the butt of the spear it had plunged into him so that his blood trickled back along the shaft, then bent forward and licked the hot crimson liquid from the wood. The face smiled up at him, the teeth filed into a maw full of fangs, now tinged with his lifeblood. He felt the rifle slide from his weakened grip and sensed the ground rushing toward him. It took him a long time to die but he was never able to scream. **** * **** Then the miner, forty-niner, Soon began to peak and pine, Thought he ought’ta join his daughter, Now he’s with his Clementine. Winnie looked up hopefully when the hunters returned. It was cold and she was hungry, as were all those who awaited the meat bringers. Yet she recoiled in disgust when she saw what they carried into the camp that was set just inside a cave and concealed by hides and brush. The rest of the tribe enthusiastically greeted the food and those who bore it. She recognized the corpses of the two mining camp hunters as a large part of the coming feast, and her heart lurched; it sank when she saw Boudreaux’s features, twisted in agony and set for all time. Then she saw Claude, his skull shattered and his face frozen in surprise. She turned away and heaved as her gorge rose. Instead of sympathy, she noted curled lips of contempt and resentment. Who was this girl to vomit at the sight of our favorite food? Their expressions read. As she recovered and looked up in fear, the fist of her new mate slammed into her cheek and knocked her to the ground. Once she recovered, a pair of the older women gathered her and forced her to help with removing the clothing and gear from the cadavers and then butchering and cooking the men. By the time the meal was served, enough of her mind had shattered to allow her to eat. **** * **** Dotty waited anxiously for Claude and the hunters to return but the end of the next miners’ shift came, and they still had not appeared, and of course Winnie was long gone. Nana shook her by the shoulder, “Get up and get ready girl, the men will be in soon. You and Na’kah will have to take care of them. Claude is still gone, so I’ll work the bar.” Dotty looked around, barely conscious of the men who crowded into the saloon. There were a few rumbles when they noted Claude was absent and a few more when Nana informed them that he was out with a pair of the hunters to look for Winnie. The gossip and discussion that followed ensured that Dotty and Na’kah had a slow night. At least until Roberts, one of the other hunters, pushed Nana up against the wall behind the bar and shook her. “Where are Boudreaux and Tibbedeaux? You say they left with Claude to look for your sister. Tell me all that you know.” Billings, the last of the quartet that supplied fresh game to the camp, watched to ensure that no one in the group of off duty miners wanted to interfere with Roberts and his prey. Flynn knew better than to intervene or even pause his current ballad, so the tableau unfolded to the tune of The Leaving of Liverpool. Like Clementine, it contained sad but sometimes humorous lyrics and was set to a lilting tune that was perfect for his fiddle. Flynn knew that loss and fear of harm went hand in hand with the need for an uplifted heart, as what came through a smile. A part of his mind was intrigued, he’d heard other rumors of folks going missing… assumed to have abandoned the camp and the arduous work of mining. Nana stood defiant, “I don’t know where they’re at, just that they went to look for Winnie. It ain’t been that long, maybe they got stuck out in the snow.” Roberts leaned in closer to terrorize the girl. He stared into her eyes and his hot breath, rank with rotten food between the teeth spilled into her face. His eyes were red-rimmed with too much drink from the previous night. He was one of what she and her sisters called the, “rough riders”, a harsh man at the best of times. Her resolve wilted and she adjusted her tone, “I… we, want to know too, Winnie’s our sis.” Roberts stared a moment longer and then turned and with a motion to Billings, the two men exited the little establishment. Dotty looked at her sisters in turn, then followed in the wake of the hunters. She stayed far enough behind them that she would draw no notice as they trudged towards the structure that served as Luke Preston’s headquarters and home. They entered unceremoniously and she caught up to them. She remained outside the door and was rewarded by voices from within. Apparently, Luke was in the main room and stirring, “What do you want Roberts? Billings?” “We want a few men to help us look for Boudreaux and Tibbedeaux. They went out with Claude to find one of his whores that absconded into the falling snow.” Roberts, an educated man, fallen from grace through his own foul nature, demanded. “What do you mean? Tell me what happened.” Luke intoned. Roberts sighed in frustration, “Yesterday, Claude came by and asked if a couple of us would mind helping him to find one of his girls who’d gone missing. Now, none of them have returned and it’s past time we go looking for them. We want to leave at first light.” Dotty couldn’t see it, but Luke blanched, “So they left camp after dark?” Roberts shook his head, “No, about noon, when the snow stopped. So, they’ve been gone since yesterday at noon, and now the whole day is wasted. The stupid whores didn’t bother to say anything until a short time past.” Luke nodded, “Very well. Take four with you, but I must caution you,” he stood to his considerable height and glowered at Roberts as the unpleasant man had done over Nana, “You must stay together. No matter what you see, no matter what you hear, it is imperative that you remain in a group.”
2020.09.28 01:39 GreatAwakening888THE SPELL IS BROKEN: Flight 93, The Truth About How Q Patriots Saved America From Cult 93's Kill Shot [part 3]
For those who have been following Trump's comms closely, you are well aware of his usage of The Phoenix Principle, which is how he takes his enemy's weapons from [them], transforms [them], and then uses it against [them]. The Phoenix Principle, represented symbolically and metaphysically via numbers, is not only about reversing [their] negatively charged numbers (e.g. reversing 93 to 39). That is phase one. Phase two is about 'flipping' the number. To tell us that Cult 93 has been completely defeated, the completed Phoenix Principle designation of 93 reversed and flipped is '36' (see graphic HERE). There are a lot of theories about Flight 93, and what really happened. Some claim there were no people aboard and the backstories fabricated, others claim there were people aboard. And others claim there were government officials who had chartered it since so few passengers were aboard a large 757. The 'official' numbers are: 33 'passengers' + 7 'crew' = 40, but there were 4 'hijackers' + 33 'passengers' = 37 = HELL = HEX, and all together 33 + 4 + 7 = 44 = KILL. Some claim it was headed to the Capitol Dome, others say the White House. Symbolically that would have been logical from [their] perspective, but the 'attacks' were also about opening portals, which can be done via Satanic rituals like Crowley did, or via highly explosive, nuclear-level disturbances in the physical plane of Earth because it disrupts or 'tears' the dimensional barrier. I have no idea which theories are correct, but if I am decoding the comms correctly, Maestro Trump gives us an astonishing account of what Cult 93 actually intended for Flight 93 and how American Patriots prevented [their] ultimate kill-shot attempt. VI. FLIGHT 93 - THE TRUTH ABOUT HOW Q PATRIOTS SAVED AMERICA As we decode these messages, it can be helpful to keep the screenshot of the post we are decoding in an adjacent tab or separate window. Conversely, scroll down to the end of each puzzle-piece section to see the post and decode process side-by-side. However, the slides do not have all of the information contained here in the text, so best to refer to both for the full pictures. At 10:56a, (screenshot HERE) (a retweet of the WhiteHouse's 10:50a Tweet) Maestro Trump provides the first of five clips from his speech at the Flight 93 Memorial Park. It was posted 194 minutes after the previous puzzle piece (194 = SEPTEMBER ELEVENTH = ENEMY OF HUMANITY); or 3 hours and 14 minutes (see Q314 screenshot HERE). Q314 Be the autists we know you are. It's about the BREAK. Seem relevant? BREAK = 37 = HEX. Do you see it? Confirmation that this is all about 'breaking' the September Eleventh hex on humanity. The next thing to observe is the timestamp of 0:36 seconds, which represents not only the reversal of 93, but also the flipping/defeating, i.e. The Phoenix Principle (revisit the image HERE). While the 'official' story is that Flight 93 was poised to attack the Capitol Building or The White House, Maestro Trump is seemingly telling us otherwise, that it was headed for the nuclear power plant at Three Mile Island in Harrisburg, PA, which seems to support this excerpt HERE. Flight 93 was meant to be Cult 93's epitomizing symbol, the one that would perform the ultimate 'kill shot'. The Three Mile Island Nuclear Power Plant had a nearly catastrophic reactor meltdown in 1979 (screenshot excerpt HERE), making it 'weakened' and 'prime' for Cult 93's nuclear disaster aims. Flight 93 to San Francisco was scheduled to take off at 8:00a, but was purposely held for 42 minutes to coincide with the 'perfect' arrangement of timing/numbers encoded in the attack. This hex was actually started/initiated (at least the latter stages) in August/September 1924 with Aleister Crowley's Satanic ritual conception of Barbara Pierce (Bush). 77 years later, Cult 93's 'great work' / spell / hex to 'break' the human spiritual and genetic connection with CHRIST (= 77), was manifested. Flight 91 was the next flight to San Francisco (excerpt HERE), scheduled to depart at 9:20a (92 = TREASON), but 'never got off the ground'. 91 = GOD WINS, which was [their] attempt to say 93 (= CONQUER) defeated 91, i.e. that Cult 93 conquered God by keeping humans and justice 'grounded'. Capital letters of Trump's retweet: NNW = 51 = ROME = ELITE = DEMON = NUKE = SAVED = ADAM EVE = RISE. The 40 is relevant as well, 40 = SAT(satellite) = I AM Q = I AM BACK. 51 + 40 = 91 = GOD WINS. There are several relevant Q drops, and they are necessary to complete the big picture, but the most relevant is Q1050 Think Nuke stranglehold. The 'official' story, the one that Cult 93 had prepared for [their] treasonous media partners, was that Flight 93 radio lost radio communication at 10:03 => 103 = SATELLITE; crashed at 10:06 => 106 = NUCLEAR PP (power plant) = HIDDEN ENEMY = KILL SHOT. This implies that Cult 93 was steering Flight 93 via satellite, intending to crash it into a nuclear power plant to create a nuclear disaster. The 40 foot concrete walls erected to represent the 40 who died (screenshot HERE) were named by Cult 93, the WALL OF NAMES = 121 = HARRISBURG = ANTICHRIST= BLOOD SACRIFICE; which confirms that Flight 93 was headed for the nuclear power plant at Three Mile Island in Harrisburg, PA. Interestingly, Trump has stated that he got the 'inspiration' for The Wall from the walls erected at the Wall Of Names (screenshot of WaPo headline HERE). In typical Maestro Trump fashion, he does not merely destroy his enemies and [their] weapons, but repurposes, rebuilds, transforms, uses against [them] and revolutionizes for good rather than evil. Talk about 5D trolling of [them] at its finest! HA HA HA! (summarizing graphic with a further detailed breakdown, related Q posts, and decoded message HERE) The watch worth remembering strikes again! VII. GITMO FOR CULT 93 - BIRTH OF A NEW NATION, NEW WORLD FOR HUMANITY At 10:57a (screenshot HERE) (a retweet of the WhiteHouse's 10:52a Tweet) Maestro Trump thanks the family members of the '40' who died in Flight 93. The first thing to observe is the video duration of 0:37. HPM (high-powered microwaves) = 37, confirming the decode of the previous tweet implying RFW (radio frequency waves and/or high powered microwaves) were used by The Patriots to 'bring down' Flight 93. How do we know this is what the 0:37 duration is pointing us to? Capital letters of the tweet: TFTA = 47 = RFW (radio frequency weapons) = MOS (mossad) = DOOM = A HERO = SAVE = GHIDRA (the actual entity Ghidra and/or representative of the NSA via the NSA's Ghidra reverse-engineering open source software). Add the '93' from the tweet, (47 + 93) = 140 = PATRIOTISM = JUST IN TIME = RECONFIGURE DNA = THE BASE CODE OF LIFE = GOD FREQUENCY. The most relevant related Q drop is Q1052 Your trust & faith in us is enough. You elected us to do the heavy lifting. Enjoy the show. BIRTH of a NEW NATION. NEW WORLD. Q BIRTH NEW NATION = 172 = SPELLS ARE BROKEN = RETURN TO HOME (Our Journey Back To Eden); NEW WORLD = 114 = KEYSTONE = TRUMP CARD = THE SOURCE = FREQUENCY = TESLA SHIELD = BIRTHDAY CODE (God's Original Breath Of Life - Human DNA Codes) ; BIRTH NEW NATION + NEW WORLD = 286 = THE TRUTH IS IN PLAIN SIGHT. The other relevant Q drop is from Maestro Trump's retweet time of 10:57a, which connects to Q3457 If you look close enough you might see…. Q (screenshot HERE). While there is a reflection on the watch, 'If look close enough you might see....' has double meaning, implying to decode the filename. Q3457 is a reposting of Q3456 with the watch worth remembering, the date of the 19th, time of 4:49, and filename D2tSyy7W0AAjGeC equalling 143 = GROUND ZERO = NINETY THREE = GEORGE SOROS (Y family) = FEDERAL RESERVE = SON OF LUCIFER = ARCHANGEL LUCIFER = THE PUNISHER. This connects to Maestro Trump's previous retweet at 10:56a with the same watch, to confirm the relevance of the watch worth remembering and its connection to imminent justice for Cult 93 members. In previous decodes I speculated the remaining watches, the 19th and 27th, would possibly come to fruition in August since the dates are on weekends in September, but it would now seem October 19th and October 27th are the days to 'watch'. My guess is Flynn will be free on the 27th of October, and a big surprise will occur on the 19th! (summarizing graphic and decoded message HERE) VIII. JUDGMENT DAY IS COMING - AMERICA WILL BE UNIFIED AGAIN - THE '40' BRAVE MEN & WOMEN REPRESENT THE Q TEAM & US Again at 10:57a (screenshot HERE) (a retweet of the WhiteHouse's 10:55a Tweet) Maestro Trump re-emphasizes for a third time the relevance of Q 3456/Q3457, i.e. the watch worth remembering, aka justice for Cult 93's crimes against humanity. Trump also directly re-addresses Cult 93's fourth target, which his previous two RT's seem to reveal was the nuclear power plant on Three Mile Island outside of Harrisburg, PA. Though Trump follows 'the official story' for optics, notice how 'our nation's capital' is not capitalized? Capital refers to Washington D.C., whereas the 'official story' is Flight 93 was heading for the Capitol Dome, although it is possible to loosely refer to the Capitol Dome and White House as 'our nation's capital'. However, as we decode this Tweet, the coded content tells a much different version of the '40' brave men and women who fought back. The message has little to do with Cult 93's literal fourth target, but instead focuses on Cult 93's failure to fully complete [their] attack, and why, as a result of this, judgement is coming for [them]. Humanity however, will enjoy unity like never before, a truly mesmerizing and happy ending to the story of our National Epic. To see one of the most densely compressed and glorious coded messages ever, read the detailed breakdown and decoded message. Capital letters: TF = 26 = GOD = HEAL; TAF = 27 = JFK = FAKED = RED = BALL = BLM = D END = HA HA HA TF TAF = 53 = BE BEST = COMEBACK = BY GOD = GOD CODE Capital letters integrated with number breaks. TF + 93; TA + 40; F + 93: TF + (93) = 119 => 911; 119 = SODOMITES = ADRENOCHROME = RED DRAGON = ALL SEEING EYE = GEORGE FLOYD = LIARS IN HELL -/+ = SAVE WORLD = NIKOLA TESLA = BACK TO WORK = DIVINE WILL = BIRTHRIGHT = ROYAL BLOOD = GOLD STANDARD = NATIONAL EPIC = HAPPY ENDING TA = 21 + 40 = 61 = QANON = DEFENDER = (of) YOU F = 6 + (93) = 99 = EVERGREEN -/+ = PATRIOT = ONE SEVEN = GOD'S LOVE = INVINCIBLE 57 = GEORGE = HUMAN = BIRTH = TESLA = SHIELD = ALLIANCE = I'LL BE BACK = BELOW = OCEANS = I AM FREE 53 + 40 + 93 + 93 + 93 = 279 = THEY ARE GETTING DESTROYED = THE GUARDIAN ANGEL OF HUMANITY = FUTURE WILL PROVE PAST The related and relevant Q drops are Q2255, Q3455, and Q4655. The first step is to identify that Q2257 and Q4657 both reference Think PLAYBOOK and THINK PLAYBOOK. PLAYBOOK = 97 = MAGIC SPELL = ALIEN ATTACK -/+ = BUILD A WALL = LOCKDOWN = PLANE CRASH = LETTER Q THINK PLAYBOOK = 159 = SOCIAL DISTANCING -/+ = JOHN F KENNEDY JR = A WEEK TO REMEMBER For additional puzzle pieces, the filenames in Q2255 & Q3455 are relevant: Q2255 filename [62e7efd10462376b17163c7075e721482c9a106cb2eb7c51ad32cbb3834e6b97] = 68 = EL PASO = PASSAGE = BARACK OBAMA = BECOMING Q3455 JIHAD SQUAD = 94 = JOHN JOHN = DIVINE MALE = GUARDIANS; THE JIHAD SQUAD = 127 = DEUS EX MACHINA = RAINBOW BRIDGE. Filename 1: D_ybXhqW4AELyk- = 157 = NEGATIVE ENERGY = BEAST FROM THE SEA = JAMES BRIEN COMEY -/+ = TESLA TOWERS = GOD INTERVENES = GOD BLESS THE USA = THE STAGE IS SET. Filename 2: D_ylJ46WwAEgRI9.jpg-large = 213 = DEMONIC POSSESSION = EXTRATERRESTRIAL = UNLEASH A NEW REALITY = RESURRECTED CHRIST = JUDGMENT DAY IS COMING = AMERICA WILL BE UNIFIED AGAIN. (summarizing graphic HERE and decoded message HERE) IX. JFK JR IS ALIVE & HE IS Q - PREPARE FOR RED (JFK) OCTOBER (KENNEDY) Isn't it remarkable that Maestro Trump is able to compress a story of such epic, breathtaking proportion into one Tweet? For those still 'on the fence' about JFK Jr. being alive after all, Trump has prepared the most undeniable array of dazzling confirmations, just for you. At 11:36a, (screenshot HERE) (a retweet of the WhiteHouse's 11:05a Tweet) 39 minutes after the previous puzzle piece, Maestro Trump brings us all the way back to the the 6:13a Tweet that began the day. Do you see the 6 1 3 in 11:36? Do you see 93 reversed and flipped in 36? Do you recall how the 6:13a timestamp => (61 x 3 = 183 = BREAKING THE SPELLS, 183 was also the capital letter value of that 6:13a Tweet)? Watch Maestro Trump tie this PRESENT all up with a big, beautiful RED OCTOBER bow. The White House timestamp is 11:05a => 105 = NINE ELEVEN = RED OCTOBER. RED = 27 = JFK; OCTOBER = 78 = KENNEDY. Trump's RT at 11:36a => 136 = GREAT AWAKENING = HEAVEN ON EARTH = 136 => 163 = MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN. Video duration: 0:40 => 40 = I AM Q = U.S. = US. Capital letters of the 11:36a RT by Trump: WFAT = 50 = BIBLICAL = FALLEN = BUSH = AMERICA = DONALD = LION = FUSCA = FIGHT The numbers highlighted in the content are 40 = I AM Q; 93 => Cult 93 => Q vs Cult 93; 40 = SCALE = US; 93 = ENTITY = HARVEST = BREAKDOWN = GATEKEEPER WFAT = 50 + 40 = 90 = DIVINE HAND = GENETIC CODE = GOD IS HERE WFAT = 50 + 93 = 143 = GROUND ZERO = NINETY THREE = GEORGE SOROS (Y family) = FEDERAL RESERVE = SON OF LUCIFER = ARCHANGEL LUCIFER = THE PUNISHER = JOHN KENNEDY II = JOHN JOHN IS ALIVE [(W = 23) + 40 = 63; (F = 6) + 93 = 99; (A = 1)] = [63 + 99 + 1] = 163 = MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN WFAT = 50 + 40 + 93 = 183 = BREAKING THE SPELLS = TRANSFORMATION Related and relevant Q posts are: Q2305 In the end, you will be 'shocked' to learn what you've 'essentially' witnessed. Q4705 patriot, noun, a person who loves, supports, and defends his or her country and its interests with devotion a person who loves their country and, if necessary, will fight for it, a person who vigorously supports their country and is prepared to defend it against enemies or detractors, a person who regards himself or herself as a defender, especially of individual rights, against all enemies foreign and domestic Q Video link (screenshot HERE), Patriot Flag scene (link HERE), exactly 1:29 => 129 = PATRIOT DAY = VIBRATIONS = 129 => 39. Q2336 - Filename of image 1: DaHEgSOVwAEG-8h = 125 = JOHN KENNEDY = TIME TRAVEL; 125 + 8 = 133 = JOHN F KENNEDY + 2 (i.e. JFK 2). Filename of image 2: DdcamI6WAAEyROC = 125 = JOHN KENNEDY; 125 + 6 = 131 = JOHN F KENNEDY = SIXTY ONE (61 = QANON). Filename of image 3: DcPsu1PV0AEtzNc = 170 = DECODE INFORMATION = DIVINE BLOODLINES = I CLEAN UP THE MESS = WE'VE MADE IT TO EDEN = FORTY SEVEN = TRIPLE GIVEN NAME = TWO THREE THREE; 47 = JOHN; 233 = JOHN FITZGERALD KENNEDY (i.e. 'triple given name'). Filename of image 4: DHQ27100 = 29 = JFK + 2 (JFK 2); 27 = JFK = RED; 100 = RIG FOR RED = JFK JR IS Q. Filename of image 5: T_ah2810 = 29 = JFK + 2 (JFK 2); 29 + 2 + 8 + 1 + 0 = 40 = I AM Q. Q3536 Thank you for confirming…. Q4736RIG FOR RED. Q [RIG FOR RED = 100 = JFK JR IS Q; 47 = JOHN; 36 = I AM HE = PANDA (Vincent Kennedy's 'RED PANDA' = (RED) JFK, I AM HE (PANDA). 36 represents the reversal and flipping of 93. (summarizing graphic and decoded message HERE) Puzzle coming together? How much more clear can Maestro Trump make it? What if I told you he has many more bombshell revelations for us in the remaining puzzle pieces, one in particular, the 17th piece of the puzzle, which brings a twist ending that will blow your mind 103 times more than this? THE SPELL IS BROKEN: A Worldwide Great Awakening, Peace Is The Prize, We're Arrived In Eden [part 4]
2020.09.28 00:05 JC-DisregardMeA Cast in Review - Spirit of Justice
Here we are. Took a few extra weeks, but I got through Turnabout Time Traveler again, bringing an end to my main series replay. Spirit of Justice is the Ace Attorney game I went into with the heaviest amount of emotional investment of any, and I've been really eager to talk about it. First, my previous cast review posts:
And before we start, I need to outline a couple of differences in how I'll be handling this. I normally list the characters in approximate order of appearance, with slight variations here and there. This time, though, I'll be opening with Apollo and Phoenix specifically, and have a section later on dedicated to the relationship between the two of them, because a lot of my opinions on this game are tied to their mentor-protégé relationship, and I don't want random remarks on it cluttering the sections for other characters. Finally, this post will likely run long enough that I'll need to split some characters off into a stickied comment below, so get ready for a marathon of a post. APOLLO JUSTICE So, I've got plenty to say on Apollo. Most of it I've said before, and I don't want this to go on forever, so let's just hit upon the most important stuff. I love Case 2 Apollo. He feels completely like a natural continuation of AA4 Apollo, and his relationships with Trucy, Athena, and Phoenix are all great. Apparently he had a pet rabbit when he was younger, which Athena finds hilarious. He's kind of a jerk to Ema in the first few exchanges of her (pretty awful) introductory scene. Yamazaki gave an interview about Case 2 at one point, and it outlines a bizarre opinion of his that Apollo and Ema have never been friendly with one another, despite all evidence to the contrary in AA4 and its surrounding media. But whatever - they're back to friendly banter right after that, so as weird as the first part of the scene is, we can ignore it. Apollo shows his growth as a lawyer and as a friend to Trucy all over the place in this case. It's excellent. His personality is exactly the way it should be here, and seeing him defend Phoenix's daughter in her father's absence and go head-to-head with Roger Retinz is incredibly satisfying after how sidelined he was for most of AA5's story. Buuut now let's get to Case 5. Apollo is not the same character in Case 5, and I don't mean that like "he develops a bunch". I mean that he stops being Apollo as soon as Dhurke walks in the door, and following a five-minute ramble of exposition about this new backstory that he definitely always had and just never mentioned before, "Apollo Justice" is removed from the game and replaced with a different character entirely, sharing his face and name. Khura'in Apollo is just... frustrating to me. I can't possibly view this version of him as anything other than a mistake, and one made solely because the devs decided late that he needed to be important to this game's main story, after Phoenix had been its main character for most of the writing process. Consequently, dorky everyman Apollo, who just wants to do his job as an attorney and be taken seriously, is shoddily transformed into an invincible escapist anime hero in an epic struggle to fight a corrupt monarchy. Basically everything that made him my favourite protagonist in the series goes away instantly. I don't give a shit about Khura'in, and I've never stopped being frustrated by how Apollo is duct-taped into it and then sent off on his own, with the ending choosing to pretend that he's ever been allowed to have a meaningful character arc. Case 5 slaps a massive, disrespectful downgrade onto Phoenix, Athena, and even Dhurke himself in the civil trial just to make Apollo look as good as possible, and I will never be moved from that position. PHOENIX WRIGHT So, Phoenix starts off as a marked improvement from his Dual Destinies characterization. I have to specify "starts off", of course, because a lot of that good goes away by the end of the game. In Case 1, Phoenix acts much more appropriately level-headed, confident, and mature than his AA5 self. The frequency of his "OH, FUUUUCK" face's appearances goes way down, and we even get a nice little callback to the class trial from the original game when he chooses to take up Ahlbi's defence no matter what he's up against. His phone call with Apollo in Case 2 is an excellent scene, perfectly demonstrating how much he's come to trust and respect the rookie attorney he hired on two games ago. Seeing his friendship with Maya just as strong as ever is wonderful, even if Maya herself ends up cheated out of importance almost immediately. Case 3 also gives him some great scenes with Rayfa, his parenting experience allowing him to both ease her temper and help to support her when she's feeling dejected. And then Case 5 happens. I'll go into that catastrophe in the stickied comment. AHLBI UR'GAID So Ahlbi's... cute, if not much else. He doesn't really change a ton, outside of Case 1. Naïve kid, ambitious entrepreneur, and bearer of an incredible good luck streak when it comes to providing highly plot-convenient help. His sort of little-brother role to Maya is kinda precious. SHAH'DO Little dog, who will one day become a very big dog. He's inherited his master's proclivity for stumbling into extremely plot-convenient trouble. PAHT ROHL Dead family man. Not nearly as annoying as the other characters with name puns based on "patrol". JUDGE (KHURA'INESE) Oddly enough, despite first seeming to be just as cartoonishly contemptuous of defence attorneys and dismissive of foreigners as most of the people of Khura'in, His Magistry actually proves himself to be about the most responsible, level-headed person in the entire country. It only takes a couple of cross-examinations for him to totally change his tune on Phoenix, and while he remains a deeply devout man who dislikes the idea of a defence attorney questioning the royal family in any way, he doesn't tend to let that affect his impartiality as a judge at all. He even stands up to members of the royal family for himself when the situation calls for it, baffled as he might be to find himself doing so. RAYFA PADMA KHURA'IN The princess. Tell you the truth, I expected to hate her, going into the game. I suppose that was the idea, what with her pompous, high-and-mighty personality. By the end of Case 1, however, when she's escorted out of the courtroom, throwing a tantrum all the while, I had the distinct feeling that I was going to end up liking her much more than I originally expected. I groaned when I realized that she was going to be accompanying Phoenix as his investigation assistant in Case 3. Are we really so attached to having a teenage girl in that role as often as possible that we need to do this? Well, whatever - Rayfa goes through absolutely no shortage of great character development in Case 3. We see that she's tried to patch up her bruised ego following the outcome of Ahlbi's trial in Case 1, now more determined than ever to prove that her Séances reveal only the incontrovertible truth. But of course, following another thorough examination by Phoenix, her insights are found to be mistaken once again, and this time, it's immediately clear that her self-esteem has taken a serious hit as a result. She can't just pretend to herself that it was a fluke again, and she feels like a failure. It's understandable, really - Rayfa's only fourteen, and her entire life thus far has been focused around only her duties as Royal Priestess and heir to the throne. Couple that with the emotional abuse Ga'ran has been throwing at her for as long as she can remember, and her downcast reaction to another fruitless Séance is exactly what you'd expect. I love the little moment at the start of the second investigation in which Phoenix tries to help her feel a bit better by prodding her into accompanying him again. Funny that he's better at acting like a dad to Rayfa in just this one sequence than he was to Trucy in the entirety of Dual Destinies. Of course, Rayfa's troubles definitely don't end there. Maya's second trial proves that she was completely wrong about this case from the very beginning, she learns that her Séance was actually deliberately manipulated to trick her into casting suspicion on the wrong person (clearly leaving her terrified that she's caused false convictions before), and she has to discover that her beloved father has been orchestrating extrajudicial killings of citizens he finds inconvenient. That's a hell of a lot to take in in the space of a few days. Everything in Rayfa's life has been thrown into question, leaving her plagued with doubts about herself, the convictions she's ensured thanks to her Séances, and her family. Who is she supposed to turn to for emotional support? Her abusive mother? Her caring father, who she's just learned was sponsoring extraudicial murder? It's a miracle she comes out of all of this with her emotional state left intact at all. Sadly, Rayfa becomes a victim of some writing problems in the final case. Here, her characterization basically spins off into a nearly verbatim retread of Sebastian Debeste. She's not bad, she's just a noticeable step down from her Case 3 self. Following a little discussion I had with another user here several months back, though, I will give Case 5 Rayfa some points for basically being the same character that Nahyuta's trying to be, but much less shit. Just like him, she's been manipulated into ensuring the convictions and deaths of countless innocent people, and she's spent her entire life being fed emotional abuse and propaganda by her mother that has made her spiteful and arrogant toward defence attorneys, and yet all it took was one trial exposing the flaws in Khura'in justice system to completely shake her out of the mentality her entire life has pushed her into. Seeing those flaws, she has both the desire and initiative to fix them despite having less influence in the court than Nahyuta or the Judge, and once it comes down to a conflict against her "mother", she's standing her ground and fighting to ensure the truth is uncovered, while Nahyuta continues to be Ga'ran's doormat. Just compare her insights and behaviour surrounding Jove's Séance to the way she behaved in Case 1. She's a whole different person. PEES'LUBN ANDISTAN'DHIN Not writing that name again. Funny guitar murderer. Case goes on way too long. His fantastic animations are the perfect demonstration of just how vast an improvement the skills of the artists and animators went through between games. The voice blip jokes that he brings with him were the first Ace Attorney joke in years to make me pause for laughter. Interesting that he's given just a tiny bit of actual story significance later on. GASPEN PAYNE Fuck, is he awful. There really isn't anything likeable or entertaining about him. I miss his brother. Somehow, though, he's not the worst prosecutor in this game. INGA KARKHUUL KHURA'IN Pretend I included the rest of the name. So, Inga is a bit weird. For Case 1 and most of Case 3, he's just a classic slimy bastard with an oddly misplaced speech pattern. His quirks are kind of amusing. It's not until Case 5 that anything becomes especially interesting about him, and even then, it doesn't happen until after he's dead. I'll admit that seeing him become the victim in Case 5 was a bit more satisfying than any stabbing ought to be. Think about his final moments, too - he shot Dhurke no less than three times, still ended up chased out of the tomb by him, and now here he is, fatally stabbed from behind, looking up to see Dhurke standing over him, seemingly still alive. It ends up as kind of a shame, though, that he ends up being given so many interesting traits only after his death, and despite the prominence of spirit channeling in the game, he never ends up getting any extra screentime via channeling. I think the last case could've been more interesting if he had stayed alive at least long enough to carry on his conflict against his wife onscreen. The heavy implication that he was doing all of this for Rayfa's benefit and not his own is the thing that makes his abrupt death feel the most like a total waste of potential. ATHENA CYKES Poor girl. Sidelined almost entirely just one game after her debut, and she didn't even get to be that game's main player character. So, to hit the positives first - Athena does get plenty of good screentime in this game. Her dynamic with Apollo in Case 2 is better than ever. These two are close friends, both equally determined to save Trucy from her false charges, and I love every minute of their banter together. At any given time, Athena can be genuinely complimenting Apollo, teasing him, enjoying a friendly joke, outright flirting with him - all of it feels perfectly in-character for her, and it all reminds me of why I consider her and Apollo the best defence teamup since Phoenix and Maya. There's a downside to her role in Case 2, though - after spending the first three quarters of the episode doing all of the above while also showing how much she cares about and admires Trucy, she pretty much stops existing in the trial's last segment. Once it comes time for Apollo to face off against Roger Retinz, Athena almost stops talking entirely, and is pretty much there just to act as an extension of Apollo's reaction faces. I don't really get the reason. Let's get to Case 4 now. It's Athena's only case as defence leader in this game, and it unfortunately feels the need to wind back the development she went through in Dual Destinies pretty noticeably, turning her back into the short-tempered and confidence-lacking newbie she was in Turnabout Academy. She even comes close to another PTSD attack when put under deliberate pressure by a certain asshole prosecutor, before Simon steps in to back her up. Of course, this leads into the excellent Cykes-Blackquill defence team dynamic, so ultimately, I can tolerate Athena's downgrade in competence. Her banter with Simon is fantastic. It's abundantly clear that the two still care about and trust each other just as much as they did in Dual Destinies, and Athena is trying her best to get her ex-con friend reacclimated to everyday society. That said, though, Simon takes very much a tough-love approach to helping Athena out in the trial, and doesn't quietly tolerate obvious mistakes on her part. It's important to take note of the reason, though - Simon knows that Athena can do better, he knows that she's tough enough to handle even his harshest criticisms, and he knows exactly how to get her back on her feet when she's really struggling. Who would've guessed that "grab ahold of her shoulders and shake her" was exactly the right choice? It's a perfect showing of the level of trust these two have in one another. She's fun on her own in Case 4, as well. She's great with emotions, but terrible at catching jokes, going off her interactions with Uendo, and her hotheaded personality makes interacting with Owen a bit of a challenge for her. "Auntie Athena" is kind of intense. ... Athena going along with Phoenix's idiotic "don't tell Apollo what's going on" request halfway through the civil trial is aggravating, as is her demotion to joke character in the DLC. I counted no fewer than four "Athena shows up to say hi, and then bolts to escape Trucy again" jokes in that case, accounting for the majority of her appearances. (And a random fun fact - between her dialogue and Ema's, we can safely assume that Athena is the only person in the Wright Anything Agency who can actually drive.) TRUCY WRIGHT I don't hesitate to say that 6-2 has Trucy at her best. She's only ever improved as a magician, given time, and she shows a level of talent easily worthy of the Gramarye name. At the same time, though, this is where we finally see proof that she's not infallible. She ends up duped and manipulated by Betty and Retinz, and her mistakes nearly cost her her freedom, reputation, and entire family business. Nevertheless, with some emotional support from Athena and Apollo, she bounces back and proves essential to solving the case for real. And speaking of that emotional support, her detention centre visit is the best scene she's ever had. She does her best to keep up her performer's smile, but this time, it just can't stick. Apollo knows she's hurting far more than she lets on, and with the right prompting the dam finally breaks. When I first saw the promotional material for this case, including a Perceive sequence as she insists "I'm fine, Polly", I just knew this scene was going to hurt me, and I was right. Watching Trucy break into a frightened ramble about her fear that she really did screw up and cause her co-star's death, and then seeing her finally break down crying in front of her friends - I damn near teared up. I have a lot of emotional investment in the newer cast, and Trucy is no exception. There's actually a really good little character moment with her if you pick the wrong piece of evidence to present to her after the trial, as well. While picking the correct one is obviously the better choice, and will put a genuine smile back on her face following some encouragement from Apollo, she still shows the same performer's dedication she's so well-known for if you get it wrong, earnestly thanking Apollo for at least trying to cheer her up. For another good point, she's learned by now that keeping Apollo in the dark about how a magic trick was performed is really not a sensible decision when it's critical to understanding a murder case. I need to address the bad parts as well, though. Trucy still gets no screentime with her best friend Pearl, being cleverly removed from the scene in Kurain Village just in time to dodge her, and in the DLC case, she regresses to her one-dimensional joke self from Dual Destinies. She doesn't even exchange a single word with Maya, and we've been waiting anywhere up to thirteen years to know what their relationship is like. Having her voiced by Kira Buckland is a wonderful touch, longtime Ace Attorney fan that she is. MANOV MISTREE This poor sap didn't do a thing to deserve what Retinz did to him. ... Well, aside from taking part in the "prank" against Trucy, anyway. Wasn't his idea. BONNY DE FAMME Bonny's alright. I was afraid she would just end up as ship fuel, when I first saw her in the magazine scan that revealed her. Fortunately, she came through mostly unharmed. Anyway, she's kinda cute, and has a really fun, energetic dynamic with her twin sister. BETTY DE FAMME Glad she exists, despite the "twins" twist not exactly being new for this series. I was feeling a bit put out to see the first implication that "Bonny" was actually secretly nasty. I just want Trucy to have friends, after reading so many sad fanfics that depict her as an unpopular loner. Betty does run into a problem that a lot of characters in this series have, though - sure, she didn't have any idea that Retinz was really planning to frame Trucy for a murder, of all things, but she does try her best to have Trucy convicted, and yet the game totally stops acknowledging that once attention turns to taking Retinz down, just painting her as a cute little Tsundere instead, and fuck that trope in general. THE JUDGE Same eccentric old friend as always. He gets very little screentime in this game, of course, only appearing in two cases in the main game, plus the DLC. They do take advantage of that time, though. He's as snarky with penalties as ever, and it's clear that he doesn't like seeing Trucy accused. Watching him irritably chastise Apollo for interrupting Trucy's magic tricks is hilarious. He also gets plenty of chances for funny exchanges with Simon in Case 4, and especially Edgeworth the DLC. I want to mention his interactions with Trucy again, though - Udgey is obviously a genuine fan of her magic shows, and he almost treats her like a grandchild of his at times. It's really nice. EMA SKYE Oh, Ema. You've finally got your dream job, you're all smiles after years of frustration and grumpiness, and what does the universe do to you? Well, a hell of a lot, almost none of it nice. To start, Ema meets up with her friend Apollo, and he kind of acts like a total dick to her for the first half of her introductory scene before she straightens him out. That scene is so weird overall, and I kinda can't stand it. Apollo just acts like Ema's never been anything but an irritable grouch toward him, and he practically runs away at the sight of her, but then ten lines later they've gone right back to normal, acting like a pair of good friends again, as they should. So, from there, Ema is paired up with another prosecutor who annoys the hell out of her. This flowery bag of dicks tells her to arrest one of her friends, accusing Trucy of deliberately murdering her co-star, he outright refuses to tell Ema the reason for the accusation, and then her job forces her to testify against poor Trucy. This does net us one of my favourite Ema scenes ever, though, when she prefaces her testimony by stating for the record that she doesn't believe Trucy is guilty, so that's a plus. Now, after that case, Ema catches up with Phoenix in Khura'in, but once more is denied the chance to just have a good chat with a friend of hers, because she's forced to arrest Maya. There's an implication that she and Maya met offscreen, interestingly enough. These games don't usually like to let major characters meet for the first time offscreen, so it's a refreshing change. So, Ema has to testify against Maya, and even watch as she is convicted, left to believe that Phoenix, a good friend of hers and one of her personal heroes, is doomed to be executed. She also has to deal with considerably more frustration from Nahyuta in this case, her stress-eating Snackoo habit coming back out in full force. Then, in Case 5, she ends up stuck with the unbearable difficulty of being the one to discover Dhurke's body, and deliver the horrible news to Apollo, back in the courtroom. Seriously - what the hell did she ever do to deserve all of this? Did existence itself just consider the idea of Ema Skye being happy so offensive that it needed to directly intervene? At least she gets to investigate alongside of Edgeworth in the DLC, with no further trauma or emotional distress included. She does her best to meet the standards of her personal hero, even if her enthusiasm causes her to screw up here and there. A couple of other complaints - Ema comes across as kind of inept at times, in this game. I get that she's got to make the odd mistake here or there so that the defence will have opportunities to take some ground in the trials, but the shift to bring her away from being so frequently grumpy has also caused her to become noticeably less bright on average than she normally is, and that's pretty irritating. Gumshoe messed up regularly because for all of his good intentions, he was kind of dumb. Ema isn't. Additionally, of course, there's the game's insistence upon using her as a mouthpiece for its rather pathetic attempts at pretendingthat Nahyuta isn't a reprehensible sack of shit. Ema comes across like a weak, pouting doormat whenever it comes to Nahyuta, and that's a complete disservice to her character. Klavier was never half as bad as Nahyuta consistently is, and Ema had no problem telling him to fuck off. ROGER RETINZ What a class act of a villain. Kind of a waste, confining him to a plot-irrelevant filler case. Retinz is absolutely delightful as a scummy, conniving weasel of the highest caliber. His artistically obnoxious behaviour makes him wonderfully hateable without being too annoying, his competence as a culprit is nearly unparalleled, his story is engaging and actually ties into Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney (I get the overall sense that 6-2 was written by the only person on the team who actually gives a shit about that game), his transformation and breakdown are both fantastic - I can't get enough of this guy. Heartless bastard is right up there with Manfred von Karma, so fixated on revenge against Magnifi Gramarye that he took on an apprentice and trained him to take on his old stage name, then killed the guy in order to frame Magnifi's granddaughter, who had abolutely nothing to do with his grudge, as well as cheating Trucy out of her family business and ownership of the Gramarye performance rights, all just to take personal revenge against an old man who had been dead for nine years. Incredible. I really mean it when I say that this case would've been perfect as the finale to an actual Apollo Justice sequel. It's got everything it needs, from an exciting and unique murder case, to great Trucy-Apollo interactions, all the way up to scenes that outline just how much Phoenix has come to respect Apollo. PUHRAY ZEH'LOT Dead, and without anything to make me sad for it. Maya probably cared about him, too, and she has to go through both being falsely accused of his murder and learning that he was a complete bastard. MAYA FEY I've said it before, and it still stands - Maya's characterization in this game is utterly on point. She's grown up, gaining far more maturity and wisdom, but she's still our good old goofball Maya. Still Phoenix's best friend after two years away (quite a few more, from our point of view), Ms. Fey made her return to the cast in a new form that leaves me perfectly content. ... Perfectly content aside from how completely shafted she winds up being in the story, that is. Maya doesn't get to do a damn thing for most of the game. She doesn't properly appear at all until Case 3, and then she has to spend most of that case offscreen as a defendant, or performing a channeling. She gets an absolutely wonderful scene with Rayfa at the case's end (which gets at least two full flashbacks later on, indicating that the writers were pretty proud of it), and plenty of heartwarming scenes with Phoenix, but throwing her into the defendant's position is a complete cop-out. She's not accused because of her awful family history, or because of her relationship with Phoenix. She's accused because she's Maya Fey, and these games can't let go of nostalgia. Case 5 doesn't do much more for her. We ultimately discover that she's improved immensely as a medium, managing to maintain a channeling for days without a break, right after she's been trapped as a kidnapping victim, but this case cheats her out of a proper appearance even more blatantly than Case 3 did. Like Ema, she gets plenty of emotional gut-punches, too. All the traumatic shit that happens in Case 3 is followed up by Inga taking her hostage, leading up to Dhurke's botched rescue attempt, in which she has to see him shot right in front of her and then watch him bleed to death, throwing herself headlong into his revolution plans immediately thereafter. The DLC is a letdown for her, too. Even upon replay, I just can't view Turnabout Time Traveler as anything more than a painfully unambitious case limping its way along entirely on nostalgia bait, and this includes Maya being Flanderized into an incredibly childish parody of herself with only one good moment in the entire case. DATZ ARE'BAL I like Datz. He's a goof very reminiscent of Larry, but with nearly none of Larry's worse traits. I'm not so fond of his courtroom appearance in which he lies over and over at no real benefit to anyone, making much of that trial feel like a total waste of time, but after that point, I haven't really got any criticisms for him. His friendship and trust in Dhurke feels believable, he's got plenty of entertaining quirks, and he's a genuine help to the protagonists at considerable risk to himself. TAHRUST INMEE A bit more split on this guy. On one hand, I really respect what Case 3 tried to do, outlining in full detail that Khura'in's justice system is fucked, and I do like the portrayal of his relationship with his wife, but he's another major victim of the "sympathetic culprit who tried really hard to frame an innocent person" thing. The case tries really hard to sell the idea that there really were no good options available for protecting his wife and their unborn child, but I can't help feeling he still didn't have to make the choice to kill himself and sacrifice Maya's life (after she had become friends with him and his wife for two years, mind), because I'm pretty sure there were several other options. One of the worse parts to it, though, is the way that the rebels just freely help his wife escape from the court after the trial is over. You're really gonna tell me they couldn't have worked out an escape plan before all of this that wouldn't directly get Maya and Phoenix killed? BEH'LEEB INMEE Sort of the same thing. THE PLUMED PUNISHER Edgeworth is right to be outraged. TAIFU TONEIDO Hello, traits borrowed from Russell Berry. If this old fool hadn't been so ridiculously dramatic and indirect about telling Geiru to pursue her own dreams, this case wouldn't have needed to happen. BUCKY WHET Gotta wonder what Bucky's like when he's sober. The fact that he and Simon of all people are childhood friends is hilarious. Anyway, Bucky's a decent guy. Not a ton to say about him. UENDO TONEIDO Best individual witness in the series, bar none. Uendo is a masterwork of character animation, playing around with a 3D model to incredible effect and presenting no fewer than four memorable personalities in one single character. I love this guy, and this case. Seeing Athena's promising theory about Owen being the culprit completely collapse the instant he's revealed is one of my favourite moments in the whole game. GEIRU TONEIDO One of the better attempts at a sympathetic culprit, in my opinion. Imagining her hanging out with Simon is also hilarious, of course. Does he even realize how ridiculous he looks next to these people? Yes, Geiru has the usual "tried to frame someone else" problem, but what I appreciate about her is the fact that she clearly feels horrified and regretful about the murder she committed, and that it wasn't something she extensively planned in advance. An emotional upheaval and an awful misunderstanding led to her doing something terrible that she can't possibly take back, and while it would certainly have looked better for her if she hadn't tried to frame Uendo and then testified against Bucky when he instead wound up accused, I still think she's a much better attempt at a sympathetic killer than most in the series. SIMON BLACKQUILL Simon's still great. Back when he still believed he would be executed, he carried himself with an air that combined theatrical menace with a childish sense of humor, but now he's had to step back into normal life, returning to work as an overworked prosecutor and watching as the number of people who take him seriously at all slowly creeps its way down. I already talked about how much I love his relationship with Athena, so no need to go over that again. Simon absolutely going to town on Nahyuta is the other highlight of Case 4. There's nothing more satisfying. Piece of trash deserves every word of it. DHURKE Ahh, boy. What do I say about Dhurke? I could complain some more about how much I hate Apollo's Khura'in backstory, but that's already been done. Let's try another angle. Dhurke is an awful parent, between the neglect, abandonment, and emotional manipulation. That's not to just say he's a terrible person or anything, mind - he's just not really the right guy for the job, no matter how hard he tries. He's a friendly, jovial guy, but he's not good with emotions, and his attempts to reconcile with Apollo are awkward at best. It's obvious that he feels terrible for leaving his adopted son alone in his birth country of America all those years ago, and I can't imagine he's thrilled to be asking Apollo a favour as their first interaction in around fifteen years. On that point, though, I can't say I'm especially fond of the choices he makes. His reckless behaviour has already gotten him killed, and in keeping that a secret from Apollo, he knowingly drags the son he abandoned into a political conflict that nearly gets Apollo killed for a cause that he has no stake in more than once, and he's even putting Maya in danger at the same time, what with borrowing her body and all. Speaking of, no attempt is made to explain why the hell he waits until after the civil trial is over to bother telling Phoenix that Maya is already safe. He doesn't really do anything helpful throughout that entire event, which comes immediately after he nearly got Apollo killed without even telling him the reasons behind what they were doing. I probably sound like I'm being highly negative. I do like Dhurke, honestly. He's a heavily flawed person, but that's what makes him interesting. He knows that he hasn't made the best decisions, and he has more than a few regrets he wants to make up for. His plans for revolution are ridiculously idealistic, given the odds he's up against. Were it not for Apollo's Case 5 upgrade into an invincible anime hero, Dhurke's bloodless revolution never would've had the faintest chance to succeed. Basically, Dhurke's recklessly heroic nature makes him a strong, dependable leader for the rebels, but it's also the root cause of most of his flaws, and it kind of annoys me how infrequently those flaws are addressed both in-game and by fans. He has an exceptional Objection shout. ARCHIE BUFF Weird. By all accounts, he was a good parent, but he was also a thief with a misguided sense of respect for the artifacts he pilfered. ARMIE BUFF Ace Attorney is really attached to traumatizing kids. Armie seems to be on the road to recovery, though, despite the tragic and horrifying loss of both of her parents. I like Armie. Her not-always-cooperative behaviour is completely justified, given that she's twelve, and both of her parents have been killed. Maybe the "oh she's actually a girl" twist isn't really super-necessary, but she's definitely one of the only two things I like about the dumpster fire that is the civil trial. She also gets a great character moment with Athena, who draws from her own traumatic past of her mother's death and Simon's wrongful conviction to promise that things will get better for her, with time. PAUL ATISHON Not quite as fantastic a villain as Retinz, and maybe he dates the game's localization to late 2016 a bit, but this guy's great. He provides most of the civil trial's funniest moments, and I can't say many bad things about him. The trial he's involved in, yes, absolutely - but not him, really. Maybe give him a "fuck you" for murdering Armie's father and then trying to kill Apollo. PEARL FEY Pearly gets basically nothing to do in this game, and is still practically unchanged from her nine year-old self. What a surprise. It's nice to see her interacting with Apollo, but seriously - we've got this whole story segment set in Kurain Village, and yet Pearl is almost entirely irrelevant. If the team was so set on forcing an Apollo v. Phoenix trial to happen, an actual conflict between them based on Phoenix's relationships with Maya and Pearl would've been nice. The one upside is that the end credits give us the only post-timeskip interactions between Maya and Pearl that we've ever seen. MILES EDGEWORTH Edgeworth also doesn't get a ton to do in this game, of course. Having him as Phoenix's investigation partner for their part in Case 5 is, fun, and provides plenty of good comedy moments to lighten the mood in an emotional beatdown of a case. My favourite is the moment when he chastises Phoenix for encountering a mess on the ground and immediately wondering if Athena caused it, as if he wouldn't have guessed exactly the same thing of Gumshoe. Second place is his outrage over The Plumed Punisher. The DLC makes him another pretty severe victim of Flanderization, sadly. The only justification they provide for his acting like a total dick throughout most of the case is that he's dealing with the stress of being Chief Prosecutor and having to take charge in prosecuting Ellen's case because no one else will touch it thanks to the Sprocket family's influence. That's really not enough to cover how abrasive Edgeworth acts overall. The case also makes the bizarre choice of pretending that Edgeworth turning against Pierce is in any way unusual for him. Uh, yeah - of course he doesn't just let the shady-as-hell witness with a grudge against Sorin force a Guilty verdict. That isn't groundbreaking characterization for him, it's the bare minimum for post-development Edgeworth. AMARA SIGATAR KHURA'IN Amara's nothing special. Her act as Nayna is a bit of a clever trick, even if it's pretty damn predictable as soon as her sudden disappearance is brought up. As "the good sister", it almost feels like she's being set up as the twist culprit, but no. It really was just her knockoff Power Rangers villain sister. Amara's emotional moments also don't really hit their mark for me, seeing as she doesn't really come across as an especially great person. She even goes out of her way to try and throw Maya under the bus to protect her cover as Nayna. Seeing her suddenly get shot on the witness stand is much more impactful than when it happened to the Phantom, though. GA'RAN SIGATAR KHURA'IN It's not a good sign when I have considerably more praise to give to a filler villain than the game's main villain. Ga'ran starts off as a genuinely imposing figure, but then she abruptly transforms into a ridiculous cartoon pretty much the moment the final trial begins, instantly spelling out that she's going to end up as the main villain behind pretty much everything. Despite this, the trial still goes through the motions of setting up both Amara and Nahyuta as possible suspects before finally presenting the "twist" that it was really all Ga'ran. She just loses all of her steam as soon as she takes up the prosecutor's bench, and the setting has given her such an utterly ridiculous amount of power and influence over the court that there's no good justification whatsoever for her idiotic behaviour that eventually gets her defeated. For basically the entire trial, she could just order her guards to arrest or execute Phoenix and Apollo, which would instantly nullify the revolution's chances of succeeding and give her a complete win, but stupid villain pride keeps her from doing so for hours on end until she's handed Apollo everything he needs to beat her. Apollo staring intensely at her tits is essential to solving the case. Really tasteful, you guys. (As expected, I'm hitting the text limit, so the rest will be in a couple of stickied comments. Read on!)
2020.09.27 23:30 pfinneganrI bought condoms and had 'the talk ' for a younger, newly sexually active friend.
I 36M, used to work at a place that employed high school kids in the summer. One of them E, is now a 21 year old man. I met up with him to catch up and buy him some drinks for becoming of legal age to imbibe in America, I hadn't seen him for a couple years but we've kept in touch. Let me tell you, E is a really great kid. The last time I saw him he hadn't ever had a girlfriend or done anything remotely sexual with anyone, including holding hands. His family and friends are all very religious, so much so that he was punished, as an 18 year old, for taking the lord's name in vain. I can't remember exactly, but I think he even stayed at my house for a couple nights because of that ordeal. Anyway, you get where this is going... Over drinks yesterday, we got to the subject of girls. He's got a potential girlfriend!!! Not official, but they make out sometimes. After patting him on the back and grinning like a proud dad for 5 minutes, I took a more sober tone to talk about men's sexual heath. It turns out he had almost no information, sex comes after you marry the only person you're going to have sex with until death according to the people in his life, so you don't need to know anything else. So I gave him the whole talk. We talked about consent, including the oft overlooked "do not hook up with someone drunker than you, no matter how interested and willing they are". We talked about getting tested and discussing STI status with a potential partner before sex. "STI's can happen, if they do, it's not the end of the world, just deal with whatever the appropriate treatment and tell anyone you may have put at risk with your actual voice, not text message. Call them or see them in person." We kind of glazed over masturbation but he didn't seem comfortable discussing it and I don't really think it's an essential subject to the conversation we were having so I moved on. We talked about condoms. I told him how important it is to have them within reasonable access, to think of them like his razor or his toothbrush, he knows where they are and can grab them when needed. Well, E had never bought condoms. He only handled one in health class 5 years ago. We are in a very small town in the rural American West and everyone knows everyone. He is too worried of his parents or a member of his church finding out to buy them. I told him to drive 20 miles to the next town and go to the adult store there but he said he just couldn't. Sounds like I'm going to the store. We discussed the importance of having the proper fitting condom. I told him my size and he told me his, turns out we're the same, which is good because one size does not fit all and ours aren't in every store (bit of a humble brag, sorry). I went and bought him a ten pack and a cucumber and met him at my house and we had a lesson on how to put one on. Now he's got nine condoms in his glove box and a little vial of lube and I feel like I was really there for a friend. So yeah, congratulate me like I'm 5!
2020.09.27 22:33 SleepyMoonSheep21 [F4M]- Midwest/Anywhere- Curvy girl getting surgery tomorrow, Mind keeping me company? (Looking for LTR)
Imagine a road trip to nowhere in particular. Going anywhere just to explore. Maybe the two of you threw a dart at a map? Maybe you had planned to go ghost hunting in a haunted B&B... You look to your right and find a girl, shes short and very chubby with long brown hair that has seen its crazy colors in earlier years. You look at her as she belts out the lyrics to a song you have heard many many times before. Big doe eyes that have a touch of makeup to them on those "special" occasions are covered with the biggest hippie glasses you have ever seen. She has always loved the hippie aesthetic but stays far away from the mary jane portion and more on the peaceful and bubbly side with the aesthetic to keep. Once in a blue moon her arms covered in henna with designs she did herself, too skittish to go and get a real tattoo. She's always got fur all over her shawls because she loves pups (Especially her own whimsical dog) so very much... It isn't her fault that she mostly wears wool shawls and a dog who's fur seems to be magnetized to them; but still, she may as well keep a lint roller strapped to her side in a holster. It doesn't help that she loves to cuddle anything and everything, especially you (and her dog..) so once in a while you will pull a small white wisp from your sweatshirt and look to her as the culprit. She stares out the window with an old-school map in her hands, no idea how to use it with the knowledge that she's only going to use Google maps later and you smile at her. She turns to you and holds your free hand and plays with your fingers because she loves all the groves, scars and little curves of your hands. Hi~ That girl is me and i'm on the journey to look for my person.. atleast someone who will want to put up with my antics and 3AM giggles. I'm a 21 year old Female with a pale complexion and a love for the creative. Safe to say I'm plus sized, I'm considered a BBW I believe. All I know is I do look more like Adele's "before" pictures. I promise ill be very gentle when sitting in your lap!! Most of the time you will find me in either a colorful array of clothes that resemble a wannabe hippie witch, or just in sweatpants and a baggy shirt with messy hair to match~ I am always in a cuddling mood, my love language has to be physical touch and my clingy ass loves to be held and snuggled with. It gives me a feeling of comfort and safety. Normally my dog is my cuddle buddy but I think she's getting tired of watching American Horror Story, Black Mirror, Parks and Rec and How I met your mother, with me.. They grow up so fast.... I have a few different medical issues that effect me on a day to day basis. I have a fainting problem once in a while that flares up. Even so, I have a dream to be a Doula/Social WorkeArt Therapist one day and achieve my dream home and a lifelong career of helping others. I am an Empath and I care very strongly about emotions and being very transparent with the people around me who I get very close to~ That being said I am very cautious of the people I let into my life. I have been in a few abusive relationships and because of this I can be quite guarded, but I promise you! Once you crack open this little oyster, there's a bright shiny pearl waiting for you c: If you actually end up reading this far and would like to message me, I would love to hear what your favorite flower is! Because of these negative relationship-based events in my life, I have been made nervous about how my future partner will treat me, and I have my worries about love to come—being that, I hope what comes my way is love. Fortunately, I have my groovy, rose-colored glasses equipped, but now a clearer head to wear them on. What I'm looking for in a significant other is someone who is willing to provide that comfort for me. Someone who understands that I will need guidance a lot of the time, and has the patience and the heart to take the lead. This goes for in everyday life, and for our potential sex life. I need someone to guide me and make me feel very safe with intimacy before anything can blossom on that end. I would love to meet someone who would share the same dream that I have. I hope to one day have a small house surrounded by land and woods, enough space for my big muppet-looking dog(s) and a big garden for me to plant a bunch of flowers and veggies in. To find someone who would sit and listen to the rain with me. Little I love more than the sound of rain on a dreary morning. It clears my mind from anxieties and makes me very calm~ I am an ambivert but lean towards introverted (INFP) who is very comfortable being at home for long periods of time but I LOVE road trips and hope to do many in the future! I'm not a hard person to please, I don't need expensive dates or jewelry to be happy, simply a soul I can connect with and have cherish me as much as I cherish them. I know some of you graze these just to get to the juicy bits but please don't contact me if you're not serious with actually getting to know me as a person with the potential of something blossoming. In other words, get outta here fuqbois. With that being said. It should be known that I am looking for a partner who is more on the (soft) dominant side. Someone who is able to take charge, has a comforting and gentle demeanor to them is very attractive to me. Though In a bedroom side, I am interested in not-so-vanilla things. In other words! Sweet by day and a little spicy at night would be ideal 😊 As a person, I'm a groovy hippie chick who finds beauty in most everything, and I collect oddities! I love the rain, flowers (especially sunflowers & peonies), and big dogs~ I really enjoy cooking and baking as well which is one of the reasons why I am a plus sized gal. I am around 300lbs but Recently I have really put into efforts of loosing weight with this quarantine being in effect. My intentions are always good, as I am extremely empathetic and I feel with my whole heart, from the outside in as my friends say. I have a lot of emotions, and they really help me stay in tune with the world. I am very sensitive and I am a very gentle person, and always make a point to be! I am very fascinated by communes, and honestly wouldn't mind living in one~ My dream is to live in the woods somewhere, far from city life. I want to raise an extraordinary garden, with heaps of flowers and vegetation! All grown, of course, with the help of my own bee farm. Someone who knows their way around the outdoors or a farm is someone who definitely has bonus points in my eyes. Ideally am looking for someone; -Single & Monogamous, Between the ages of 21-29 who is in the US/Canada (and/or Not opposed to LDR). Seeking Long-term/Forever relationship wise. Willing to travel and take things to IRL, Not a smoker, No Kids~ Who is willing to make a home for me within themselves (and of course it will be mutual ♡). Silliness, Comfort and communication are necessities to me. I want someone who will kiss my bruises, and praise me for my accomplishments but will also laugh with me till the sun comes up. Someone who will be proud of my doodles, lose his mind over my selfies, kiss all my special spots, and love me so heartily I'm not left needing to ask myself if it's real. Definitely someone who doesn't mind me being a duckling of sorts, staying to your side and basking in your affection. Someone I can be silly with is an absolute MUST! Someone who's into more flavors than Vanilla in the bedroom (in a more dominant sense). If you want me to get specific, I really adore taller guys~ I really admire someone who could be ok with me sitting on his lap or hold me in his arms... someone who can dress to the nines with me too! Bonus points for you cuties with long faces and big noses (Facial hair is a plus)~ I would like to have a gentle dom, I also love me an artsy guy, or at least someone who'll appreciate a girl covered in paint at the end of the day c: As long as you see yourself adoring a plus sized hippie bunny babe that decorates her small woodsy home in lights, blankies, stuffies, plants, skulls, crystals, flowers and other odd things with a bunch of big ol doggos, I think we will get along beautifully c: I will give brownie points to those who include pictures of themselves and give me more than a sentence to go off of 🌼 I promise to send decent memes and old vine references~ Im looking for my best friend. I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day, I look forward to hearing from you!! Stay safe~ 💛
2020.09.27 22:19 niceguy-365Craziest things I've ever seen during a golf round today. What are some of the craziest things you've seen.
I'm going to do my best to set the stage a little: 7:00 am tee time at Moody Gardens Golf Course in Galveston Texas. We are approximately a week removed from tropical storm beta and the rain that came with it. Make the drive there this morning and post up in the parking lot until 6:45. Open the my truck door and am immediately swarmed by a locust like horde of mosquitoes. This is what it must have been like when they were building the panama canal. I grab clubs and shoes and sprint immediately to clubhouse. Thank god the pro shop sells bug spray. Buy the larger can and proceed to douse myself. Get cart and head to first tee. Upon arriving at the first tee I notice playing partners (randoms) having issues with mosquitoes as well and offer up my newly acquired weapon of choice. Thanks and pleasantries are exchanged as we prepare to tee off glistening in the morning sun from (needed) overapplication of mosquito spray. At this point they were just forming a bubble around us waiting for their chance to strike. First three holes are pretty uneventful. Some good and bad shots from all of us as well as the ongoing battle with the horde of mosquitos, but alas the wind was starting to pick up and seemed to be breaking their ranks a little. We arrive at hole 4 a 140ish par three where the cart path snakes in front of the tee box where I witnessed something I likely will never see again. The first three of us hit all pretty good shots within 30 ft of flag and the final player gets setup to hit his shot. Im assuming he is hitting a 7 or 8 iron and his go to shot has been this low stinger kinda cut with everything. The other guys cart was about 15 - 20 ft left of the tee box and 30 ft in front of us. Guy proceeds to cold shank left and hit one of the other guy's driver which somehow straightened and propelled his shot onto the green within 3 ft. I could not believe my eyes. He made the putt for the bird. Fist bumps all around and no damage to the guy's driver during the assist. So this guy is presumably an 20-25 handicap player just judging by his stroke count other factors. On The back nine he makes eagle from 5 ft on a 524 yard par five and chip/pitches in for birdie from about 30 yards. He ended up shooting a 101. Course is tight with a good bit of water. But what a crazy round. Never seen or had anything like that happen while I was playing before. All in all it was a great day in spite of the apocalyptic mosquito infestation. This is why I love golf. You just never know what might happen.
2020.09.27 21:57 Halls_of_DurinAboriginal Archives: The Life, Death, and Neglect of Justice for Lynette "Norma" Daley
This is the first in a collection of true crime events, by themselves uniquely brutal and investigations themselves unquestionable, yet quietly set aside by the local public servants - be the police, justice workers, and others. Lynette Daley Ms. Lynette "Norma" Daley was born 16.7.1977. Much of her early life has not been reported. She was raised by her mother Thelma and step-father Gordon, a happy, adventures tom-boy who enjoyed tussling with her brothers, climbing trees, and going on adventures. She had dreams of competing in the Olympics. Yet, by 15 she struggled with school, at 16 dropped out, and fell in with a rough crowd. By 16 she had become pregnant and by the time of her death, at 33, consented for her parents to raise her seven children. Yet, despite struggling with alcohol addiction, she attempted to be engaged in her children's lives. However, between 1998 and 2010 Daley dealt with abusive partners and domestic violence. Up to her last week of life, she made efforts to visit her children and her parents - that final time staying for three days. The day before she died she told her sister about a planned holiday with two acquaintances, who the family considered to be at most social friends. Her name and details were not public until the inquest into the failure to prosecute her death. Much early reporting refers to her simply as "Norma". Her Death Date/Time Australia Day 26 January 2011 / the early hours of the morning Ten Mile Beach The location of the sexual assault and death occurred in Ten Mile Beach. This area is near the Coral Sea, relatively secluded beachhead paralleling A1 well south of Gold Coast, New South Wales. Both the water and the sky are bright blue. There the sand is a moderate strip disappearing under a line of large boulders then thick-standing trees. Now and then are warning signs: DANGER inset on a red circle. No lifesaving service, ringed by unstable cliffs and hemmed by strong currents; this is where Daley died. The Accused Adrian Attwater was stated by some reporting to be Daley's boyfriend. He is now 45. His friend, Paul Maris, now 49, may have known Daley as well. On Australia Day 2011 the three left on a camping cum fishing trip, according to both the accused and Daley's family. Attwater, in particular, was known to Daley's family but they were not familiar with him. The Physical Evidence and the Events What was discovered on that beach was both blood sodden and burnt. By the time police arrived an hour had elapsed from the 000 call. Daley was cold to the touch, her lips blue, possibly her extremities blanched with bloodloss. Her blood was everywhere, not just covering her legs and congealed in a large clot between her feet but across the sand, the vehicle, a mostly-burned mattress, and the jeans of one of the accused. A forensic pathologist found vaginal injuries more severe than found in precipitous (traumatic) childbirth. The sexual acts, said by both men to be consensual, involved Attwater placing his right hand into Daley's vagina. When questioned by police Attwater demonstrated at act by clenching his right hand into a fist. When asked if the act was referred to as "fisting" he replied "Just about, yeah" but denied he did it roughly. Maris also stated the sexual activity occurred by describing it: Attwater "fisted her". During re-interviews Attwater modified that act to using four fingers only to the depth of the base of his thumb in as "fishtail movement". Maris, however, re-enacted a clenched fist in vigorous horizontal movements. Both men stated that after they reached Black Rock Camping Area, in the dark, late-night or very early morning, Attwater and Daley had sexual activity. After a while, Attwater invited Maris into the back of the vehicle to engage in this sexual activity. Daley was on her hands and knees with her head towards the front of the vehicle. Her track plants were misplaced at this point. Attwater was digitally penetrating Daley. Upon Attwater's instructions, Daley attempted to fellate Maris, but according to Maris he was not aroused or interested. Attwater became aware at this time of blood on his hand, which made it clear it was coming from Daley. The sexual activity immediately stopped. Between sustaining the fatal injury and her death Daley attempted to clean herself, rest on an ice-chest, and went for a short drive in the front passenger seat. The men claim she made no statements of pain or discomfort. Immediately after noticing the blood, Daley went to clean herself in the ocean. On her way out the vehicle she rested for a moment - she sat on top of an ice-chest. Whatever quantity of blood she left was wiped away by Attwater at Maris' request. Maris said Daley had "put blood all over the Esky [ice-chest]." It seems apparent she would have been bleeding profusely. Police photographs showed blood had pooled between the back of the chest and the wall of the vehicle; despite efforts, large smears of blood were still evident. They travelled further up the beach. After they parked a second time Daley crawled into the back seat. She had lain there on the mattress, naked, cold, and intoxicated, and continued to bleed out. Between the time the vehicle was parked and the men returned from attempting to force a new beach access track Attwater and Maris did not communicate with Daley. When they return to the vehicle the accounts differ slightly; Attwater claimed Daley made it to the front seat under her own power. Maris was more uncertain, saying: "I’m not sure whether Adrian put her in the front or if she got in by herself…" As dawn was breaking the vehicle pulled away from the Black Rock Camping Area. At this time the men discuss the smell. Maris suggested the mattress be disposed of, describing the smell as "... like she might have crapped in the back of the car or something." This, he claimed, is why they stopped after only 1km of the trek and went on to burn the bedding, Daley's bloody bra, and other items. Maris said he burnt the bra because he didn't think Daley would want it anymore. He never asked her. To remove the mattress Maris had to remove the fishing rod holders, open the bonnet, and use the disconnected fuel line to fill a coke bottle with petrol. Everything was replaced and the diesel poured over the mattress and other items; it was then set alight. The track pants were not there. While Maris was doing this, he says Attwater and Daley went for a swim and "to go and clean themselves." Attwater claimed he did not know Maris intended to burn the materials. When asked about how much blood was on the mattress, Attwater indicated a blood pool about 10cm in diameter; Maris said there was "blood everywhere". Attwater said that around that time Daley appeared to suffer some sort of seizure. He and Maris pulled her from the water. Attwater stated she wasn't breathing and had no pulse, so rolled her into a recovery position. Attwater being CPR while Maris dialled 000. Maris also went to get help from another - a man named Miller, camping nearby. Miller states they drove back to find a man, wearing jeans, performing CPR on a woman who appeared to have been dragged from the water. Attwater claimed to be naked. Miller went on to say Daley had sand on her face and in her hair. There appeared to be blood coming from her vagina and matted in her public hair. At Maris' request, Miller began CPR. He found her to be cold and hold no pulse. He formed the opinion she was dead but continued to perform compressions as instructed by EMS. Miller noticed a large blood clot directly below her feet. It later had been measured by police to 150mm in diameter. Before 0700 Maris went to flag down another vehicle. While he did so, Miller voiced his suspicions to ambulance corp. EMS arrived at 0657. Officers arrived. Police Sergeant McDonald asked Attwater about the identity of the deceased. Attwater produced Daley's Commonwealth Bank keycard from his wallet. Blood smears were found in numerous areas within the vehicle. Those and burnt samples were collected. The Autopsy An autopsy found Daley died from blunt force trauma to her genital tract and had suffered horrific internal and external injuries after a violent sex act. Moderate to severe force tore and/or overstretched the vaginal lining which led to blood loss and shock; a circulatory crisis with low blood pressure and inadequate tissue and organ perfusion lead to organ failure and death. Daley's BAC was reported as between 0.303% (femora) and 0.352% (vitreous humour) - which are fatal ranges. There were no features of drowning. “Blunt force genital tract trauma” was concluded as the primary cause of death – blood loss and hypovolaemic shock was the mechanism of death. Severe alcohol intoxication exacerbated the impact of blood loss. The kidneys and brain were pale supporting blood loss and low blood pressure. Numerated injuries were as follows:
a jagged 45mm laceration commencing just below the clitoris that passed downwards along the anterior wall of the vagina.
on the left lateral wall of the vagina was a 120mm long laceration associated with a large amount of overlying clotted blood. That laceration commenced near the cervix and was associated with deep bruising to the underlying soft tissue in an area approximately 100mm in diameter.
There was also bruising along the right side of the vaginal wall.
Blood clots overlayed both lacerations. (clotting only occurred while a person is alive)
The anus showed slight superficial lacerations up to 5mm in length.
Numerous superficial scratches were found on her legs.
Numerous superficial bruises were found on Norma’s arms, wrists, torso and abdomen. They were at least 24 hours old.
The time between the injuries upon Daley's person and her death are difficult to determine. The decline could have been from an hour to as many as four hours. Minutes before death she would have been noticeably paler and sweating, as well as unable to walk without aid. The injury while examined by an obstetrician and gynaecologist expert (gyno) advised that the tearing itself was unusual in “normal” consensual penile-vaginal intercourse only having been recorded in two instances, both with life-threatening blood loss and needed emergency surgery. The gyno suggested Daley sustained a torn artery producing raid and sustained blood loss. The coroner's conclusions, with Daley named as Norma :
...I am inclined to accept as accurate Mr Maris’ demonstration of a vigorous punching motion as the most likely explanation for the injuries having been sustained. Mr Attwater does not claim that Norma gave verbal consent to his actions. In the circumstances, in my view, Norma would not have had the capacity to meaningfully consent to the sexual acts that caused the injury that led to her death and Mr Attwater was not entitled to interpret her lack of resisting as consent.... I also conclude that it is more likely than not that Norma would have felt pain as a result of the injuries and have communicated this immediately. Even if one accepts that there was no immediate complaint and that the men believed the blood seen was only menstrual blood, which I don’t, it is inconceivable that Norma would not have known that she was injured and bleeding unnaturally. It is also unbelievable that she would not have communicated this to the person responsible for causing it. I conclude that both men are dishonestly denying any such complaint was made because they fear it reflects adversely on them. ...She was dearly loved by her family and she returned that affection. I know she is sadly missed by her children, her siblings, her parents and her extended family. I offer them all my sincere condolences. The court expresses its contempt and disgust for the callous disregard for her welfare shown by her supposed friends Messrs Attwater and Maris. ... The fatal injuries were accidentally inflicted during sexual activity undertaken at a time when it is likely Norma was too intoxicated to be able to meaningfully consent to such activity. The person responsible for the injury failed to respond to it by seeking medical attention for Norma even though she was because of her circumstances and condition incapable of obtaining that for herself.
In my own view the anus laceration, while not one to bleed profusely, would have caused considerable discomfort. Walking or sitting would have been difficult. Even at the outset of four hours by the time Miller arrived to render aid Daley could have been dead for an elapsed period. Media Coverage The Daily Examiner headlined the assault as a "‘Wild sex’ led to woman’s death" in 2014. The News.com.au May 10, 2016 report was headlined, “Campaign for justice over death of Lynette Daley, left to bleed after ‘wild sex.'” Much of the early coverage was tabloid based. With the terminology used the News.com.au article was found to breach the Standards of Practice of the Press Council, stating that "...the Council considers that the heading and the first paragraph misleadingly and unfairly suggested Ms Daley had consented to sexual acts immediately before her death." Even non-Australian media, like the Guardian in 2016, headlined: "Death that shocked a town: case reopens on woman who died after sex with two men on remote beach". The Investigation The NSW Director of Public Prosecutions Lloyd Babb withdrew both charges for Attwater and Maris in 2012 before they reached a committal hearing. After an inquest in 2014 State Coroner Michael Barnes referred the men to the DDP again, stating that a case was likely but Babb refused to prosecute them. "It disturbed me that following the coroner's recommendation and with the material that was contained in the coroner's brief the decision was made by the DPP not to prosecute on any charges," said Robert Tumeth, Aboriginal Legal Service lawyer who represented Daley's family at the 2014 inquest. Additional Criminal History Maris' violent history consists of:
Six serious assault charges between 1995 and 2005, including two counts of assault occasioning actual bodily harm
Two counts of assault
Two counts of assaulting police
In 2005, he was ordered to enter full-time residential rehabilitation, commence drug and alcohol counselling, and participate in an anger management course
In 2015, he was sentenced to 12 months in jail for going armed with intent to commit an indictable offence and destroying property
Other convictions between 1988 and 2010 include malicious injury, possessing prohibited drugs, administering prohibited drugs, and multiple counts of drink driving
Attwater's criminal history includes:
Two serious convictions for assaulting police in 1994 and 2010 - he was sentenced to nine months in jail for the second offence
Between 1989 and 2008 multiple counts of drink driving as well as speeding, driving while disqualified, driving an unregistered and uninsured vehicle, stealing, and cultivating prohibited plants
Failure to Prosecute 27 January 2011 police charged Attwater with manslaughter and Maris with being an accessory after the fact. 2012 DPP withdrew both charges, stating there was no proof of intent to harm. 2014, Inquest State Coroner Michael Barnes referred the men to the DPP, stating they likely had a case to answer. Again, Babb refused to charge them. February 2016 Babb was asked to review his decision by Attorney-General Gabrielle Upton. 21 June 2016 Independent legal adviser reviews case, leads DPP to prosecute Four Corners ABC’s Four Corners program covered the story in 2016, leading to national attention Pleas and Trial22 June 2016 Attwater and Maris were charged 2 Aug 2016, Grafton local court Attwater and Maris appeared, granted bail 2 December 2016, Supreme Court Attwater pled not guilty to manslaughter and aggravated sexual assault. Maris pled not guilty to being an accessory to both counts. 1 Aug 2017, Supreme Court Trail commences, Attwater and Maris on dock together.
A short clip from a police interview with Mr Attwater was played in court..."It was my f****** hand," Mr Attwater [discussing the act] could be heard saying in the recording. And later, "girls will be girls and boys will be boys."
6 September 2017, Supreme Court Jury deliberated for 32 minutes - both Attwater and Maris were convicted. Attwater found guilty of manslaughter and aggravated sexual assault - 19-year sentence, with a non-parole period of 15 years and three months and Maris found guilty of hindering the collection of evidence and aggravated sexual assault - nine-year sentence, with a non-parole period of six years and nine months. Now 25 March 2020 Attwater appeals conviction with NSW Court of Criminal Appeal Between 2012 and 2013, indigenous women were hospitalised for non-fatal family violence assault at 34.2 times the rate of non-indigenous women. Between 2008 and 2012, in New South Wales, Queensland, Western Australia, South Australia and the Northern Territory, the death rate from homicide for indigenous people was seven to eight times higher than for non-indigenous people. Indigenous people are 3% of the Australian population. Additional Sources:
2020.09.27 21:33 AuberginecassioFTM Graduated at 39w2d!
It was a crazy, beautiful, scary leap into motherhood! My water broke Sunday night after walking around all day with my mom. I spent all night feeling anxious and excited and hardly sleeping... but nothing really happened after that. My water kept coming, but no contractions. I had planned an Unmedicated water birth at home so I went to my Midwife’s office and proudly told them my news. But unfortunately since contractions hadn’t hit, and the babe was facing forward- head down, but forward, we decided to try acupuncture and massage and yoga positions to try to get things moving. I also happened to be GBS positive, so time was of the essence after my water broke. But a whole day later, waters kept coming, and still no real contractions. My midwife ended up manually breaking the inner sac to try to get labor started- which it did- but I was also needing to have IV antibiotics every 4 hours... finally the next morning, day 3, my contractions started and the mucus plug finally began to thin. Even though the contractions were happening, my cervix still wasn’t dilating, so the choice to have a home birth finally flew out the window, and I went to the hospital. My midwife was amazing and came with me and stayed until my little boy was born! She was just amazing! They started me on Pitocin and my contractions went from ‘ow that hurts’ to ‘holy fucking shit I don’t know if I can do this’ but I was determined to do it as unmedicated as possible, so I started low moaning through the pain which helped a lot. Finally the morning of day 4 he made his appearance, after only 45 minutes of pushing. I can’t tell you how grateful I am to all the wonderful women, and my amazingly supportive partner who helped me through the single most life altering transition I’ve experienced. ♥️ For those of you considering a natural birth, if I can do it, so can you:) And cherish those last few days of pregnancy. It’s crazy the things you’ll end up missing, but I’m so in love and all of the pain and struggle through the last nine months was completely worth it.
2020.09.27 21:31 notmyrealnametnSeason 8 Season Finale Recap, Pt 1 (featuring my husband's snark)
As promised, I made my husband watch the Josiah and Lauren wedding episode with me. The recap is below. His reactions are interspersed in my summary, I'll put his comments in [brackets]. He is somewhat familiar with the older Duggs, but I haven't forced him to watch in a long time so he is out of the Duggar loop and I made sure NOT to give him a refresher beforehand so his snark wouldn't be influenced. And away we go! The episode opens a week before the ceremony and Lauren is "just at the edge of my seat waiting to get married ..." [My husband finishes that sentence for her: "And I have really tall fucking teeth."] They talk about what they love most about each other, and it is just me or are they projecting a lot about what they WISH they had in a partner??? Josiah says that Lauren is always there to help him and when she says something, she's good at saying it in a gentle way. (Um ok ....) Lauren says she loves "everything" about Josiah, but what means the most to her is his leadership qualities. ["What in the hell does this dude lead?"] My sentiments exactly, husband. Next, the couple completes a not-at-all-just-for-show-filler-activity of writing "52 Reasons Why I Love You/Am Thankful for You" to read each week during their first year of marriage. ["They're both going to get stumped around reason 7 and it's going to get awkward."] We see Lauren write "I love your blue eyes," and Josiah write "I love you becuase ... you are calm under pressure." It is during this scene we get a good look at Josiah's SEVERELY receding hairline and my husband comments. I've been waiting to inform him that all the Duggs have this unfortunate hairline issue, and very early on. Next we check in on Books and OfBooks at 30 weeks pregnant with Felicity. Jinger tells the class she really wants her mom with her because Meech has been through labor "countless times." Really, Jinger?!? You grew up on a show TITLED AND SCRIPTED AROUND EXACTLY HOW MANY TIMES SHE HAS DONE JUST THAT. But ok. Insert Jessa smugly reminiscing about how daunting a task labor seems for first time moms. Becuase her experience on Bertha makes her an expert. We cut back to the Books' birthing class and unexpectedly, the instructor begins moaning and flings herself onto all fours crying out in agony. ["Is she getting ready to take a shit on the floor? What is going on?"] Books and OfBooks seems horribly uncomfortable. [“They immediatly regret their midwife choice. They’re having a.midwife crisis”] Sidebar: Jerm pretentiously jokes that he was "about to dial nine-eleven." Um, ok, is he too sophisticated to say 9-1-1? He then spouts some suppportive-sounding mumbo-jumbo and the whole class praises him as "wise beyond his years" and Jinger gets a ‘smug Jessa look’ of her own while gazing adoringly at him. Next, the class has to hold ice in their hands until it hurts, which is somehow supposed to simulate the pain of childbirth. Naturally the show cuts away to show the other Duggar couples trying this as well. Josiah and Lauren try this exercise and Josiah throws in some breathing excercises right in Lauren's face, to which she replies, "You need a breath mint" in disgust. Ah, yes, there's that gentle spirit he was talking about earlier. Jessa makes more smug-Jessa comments about how it is nothing like labor, while Ben visualizes polar bears for some reason. Back at class, Jerm jokes that he can now officially say he's endured labor. Jinger cracks up like it is the funniest thing he's ever said - which, knowing Jerm and his sense of humor, it just might be. The Books practice labor techniques. Books very earnestly says he is concentrating on just letting Jinger know he is there with her and breathing with her. [Um, he knows she's not really in labor now, right?] Cue Ben and Austin sharing their vast dude-with-a-laboring-wife knowledge. Ben, "It's really not so much about what I say, more just that I'm there with her." ["Yeah, no shit."] This is followed by the weirdest, most awkward conversation with the birthing instructor. I literally can't interpret what is happening in this scene. If anyone can help with that, please let me know WTF went down here. In the next installment, we will venture back to Arkansas for the infamous Lily Swanson tea party cringefest, wedding prep, and more! Thanks for reading my first attempt at a recap! If you have tips on how I can format these (like getting embedded pics in the text, etc.) let me know. I’m a Reddit novice! Stay tuned snarkers!
2020.09.27 19:38 PrttythngsmoodswingsWarning you now: lots of nonsense but i write long letters and send fun stuff
Californian with plenty of stickers, postcards, and photos to send out! Hoping to make a friend A write long letters about nothing. I like to send photos of my dog or from my photo shoots. I’ll tell you about my favorite songs and movies. Or I’ll go to Hollywood and get you some post cards and stickers. I’m a dreamer. Traveler. Weirdo. Bananas in Pajamas vs the Paranoid Android I’m Fox. From SoCal. The following will make less sense the further you read but enjoy: tell me about a dream you had that you wish you could live in forever. I recently started Brooklyn nine nine and it’s getting me through a bad depression. I’m really enjoying it. My favorite film is either City Lights or The Skin I Live In. One is a love story about a blind flower girl and a tramp. The other is about being trapped in your own body. I won’t give any spoilers but you should watch them both. I listen to sad music. Max Richter slays me, especially right now. I want to believe in ghosts so badly but I can’t. My anxiety has me bouncing and curling into a ball at the same time. Would love new friends to pass the time with. “I wanna be the surgeon that cuts you open and fixes all of life’s mistakes.” Acid rain gum drops and a candy moon on the horizon. I don’t want to die until I’ve made something beautiful that lasts forever. Is that selfish? I wanna be the house that you were raised in, the only place that you feel safe. Looking for other creepers that can’t sleep or won’t sleep or don’t want to sleep. Tell me your favorite album and one song from it that stands out to you. I recently bought Prince “sign o the times” at a record store and I’ve been listening to it on repeat. Starfish and Coffee is my anthem right now. I have no idea what it means but I’ll keep listening until my ears bleed if I can. I like sad pretty movies where things end up worse than how they started. I have a hard time making friends because I’m never around but internet friends are easy because you don’t have to hang out! If I could live anywhere it would be a cottage by a beach where it rains all the time, and I’d sit outside in an old wrecked boat and have my coffee while my dog scares the seagulls away. West coast preferably. I’m gonna post some of my old penpal posts under this one as some giant penpals history so you can see me at different times. Here you go I want to be haunted I want to be lost Just because life seems less lonely with a ghost friend. And also that covers the whole “what happens when we die?” thing. I wanna haunt the house the you grew up in, I want to be the whistle in the draft through the halls. It’s hard making friends. And summer is here, so it’s hot too. I got a new Polaroid, would love to find a friend to exchange cool photos with through the mail. Maybe I’ll send you flowers or ghosts or birds who knows. The first time I remember crying during a movie was the ending of Edward Scissorhands. I was so sad that he had to live in that castle alone and he made it snow for everyone. I think the scariest movie I’ve ever seen is ruby sparks. Fight me. Seeking a sidekick to fight crime. What’s your favorite scary movie? Let’s trade fears. Mine are spiders and heights and my car breaking down in the middle of nowhere. I’ve written some other posts here before so I’m just gonna copy and paste them below and make this into a super huge compilation of moods so here it goes: Hi I’m Fox and if you found this PART ONE: Tile My dog kept slipping on the tile so I bought him some socks. PART TWO: Randy’s Brother’s Sister Jane So I’m a professional photographer and I travel for a living so it’s kinda hard to make friends so I figured I’d try something new. I just got this weed vape and it was like $60 so let’s see how this goes... I feel good. Hi! I wanna slide around in my socks and listen to sublime and eat carrots wooot Plantains honey Flesh roasted sweet and black I love my fingers, I love the way you curl up cold Bunny’s got a delivery Left money in the fridge for pizza “I’m hoping the weirdos come out.” Jane: I passed out in her mother’s begonias and I promised I’d make it up to her but I didn’t. I saw a baby seal the other day and some woman accused me of trying to touch it but I wasn’t anywhere near it. The seal was smoking reefer and kept offering it to me but you know with covid the buzz just wasn’t worth the risk. IM NEVER GOING TO SLEEP AGAIN Maybe tomorrow idk. It’s hot and I’m listening to bright eyes and playing Overwatch in quarantine. You: You wanna fight about waffles being better than pancakes but deep down you’re exhausted. You’re probably not a Gemini. You don’t drive a Jeep, and your dogs name is Tangerella Bacon. I’m hoping the weirdos It’s too bad the patio lights come on so late. I think the birds would enjoy them. But it’s hot and weather isn’t changing and the fact that my knees are scabbed isn’t changing and the sunburn on my neck from this morning out isn’t changing but I’ve got 6 shots left in my Polaroid and I think tomorrow I’ll hit the ocean. The ocean filled with submarines, seahorses and salt. there’s a nice shack in Ventura where you can get a fried banana even when it’s raining and a beer if that’s your thing but I try my best not to drink. But a fried banana and a beer is a treat you should try at least once. Come out. And drift a little Coast On the coast Pen pal I’ll never get to sleep tonight so I figured I’d give this a shot. I’m writing this all out of order so forgive me if doesn’t make sense. I’m never home and it gets lonely as heck so I’m trying something new! It’s time for a change. Time to open myself up to making new friends. I’m a photographer, professionally. I travel for work. Constantly in different city(not usually exciting places. Mostly end up in middle of nowhere USA.) I call southern California home. Love it. Wouldn’t trade it for the world. Bright Eyes, Morrissey, and Sublime keep me company on the road. And podcasts! Fun ones. Scary ones. You name it. I’m a proud dog father. His name is Boogey and he was born in my kitchen. Insomniac dork, competitive, looking for activity partners or just someone to talk to. I’m a good listener who will also kick you in the pants and try to motivate you if you let me. Never broken a bone, hate chicken pot pie(gross). Three questions for you: What’s your least favorite food? What’s your favorite film? What’s a song that always makes you smile? I was once bitten by a rabbit. I cried. I was like 7. It still haunts me. Weirdo with too much energy and not enough time. Would love to make some new friends. Artistic folks to the front of the line. Weirdos too. The weirder the better. Let’s be buds. I like to photograph moody pretty things. My favorite fruit is tomato and my favorite vegetable is cauliflower. I own four guitars and can hardly play any of them. Let’s be weird together or shoot the shit. Hope to hear from you!
2020.09.27 02:32 ayesh2000I think the universe might be trying to tell me something.
WARNING VERY LONG POST: It all started when I was showing my friend a YouTube video of a person who I am going to call A. We only watched a little bit of the video but she said that we act a lot alike. I didn’t notice it before until then and something just kind of clicked for me. It surprised me that I didn’t notice it before. That’s when i started noticing these synchronicities We both have 3 sibilings I noticed on A’s Instagram page he has posted MULTIPLE pictures of him and his cats that look exactly like some of the pictures that I have of me and my cat that are on my camera roll. Same pose and angle. I’ve had multiple friends look at the photos and they agreed that they look the same. Then yesterday I impulsively decided to dye my hair red. After I’m done dying my hair I go on Instagram and find out that he also decided to dye his hair red that day too. Then i was watching this girl I’ve been subscribed to on YouTube for a couple of years now and she does general tarot card readings and did one called “when will I meet my soulmate and who are they.” I got to choose two piles bc one answered when I’m seeing them and the other answered who are they. She interpreted the pile and said if you are young (I’m 20 so I’d say that I’m young) you will meet them in 1-3 years. Then she moves onto The pile that answers who and things start to get creepy. She said that this person is going to have many creative talents or gifts. They have some sort of musical talent or gift. She feels like that they are going to have a lot of gifts and talents that they translate through some sort of platform. A is actually apart of a music group at an entertainment company. The groups concept is that they have an unlimited amount of members divided into multiple sub units based in various cities. The entertainment company also trains models and actors. They also dance, sing, rap, compose and write music. She goes on to say that we have the same type of purpose together and she does feel like we are going to work on a project together. I am also what people would say talented in the arts like drawing, photography, designing. I was just asked by a friend if I would like to be head designer of her clothing company and they plan to make it a world wide company based on inclusiveness. Mind you A will also do photoshoots for magazines and a couple of the members of his music group are ambassadors for a couple of brands. They also will do ads. Next she picks up a have faith card and says that if you haven’t met this person yet the angels are telling you to have faith and that this connection is going to change your life for the better and really get you inspired and for those who do know this person don’t loose hope in the connection because for some it might be a little bit difficult she said she heard this person may not be ready for settling down or not ready to work on this big life purpose when you meet them. They are not ready to see it. She feels like the person watching is going to be the more spiritually aware one of this connection. But this person does have a big gift a big calling and feels like I’m going to have to be patient when I meet this person or if I have met them already be patient. She pulls out the gossip card and said that they probably listen to everybody too much and that they have to trust their own intuition. She feels like this person really does consider peoples feelings and one thing I do have with this connection is trust. They will always think highly of you, they will always talk very highly of you. He is a libra (I feel like these are very much libra qualities) Also signs you are going to see before you meet this person are crosses because this person is very spiritual at their core. She said that she heard for some that this person may be in denial of their spiritual gifts or abilities and 22 that I might be seeing 222 a lot. You might meet this person at age 22 or 29 or in between those ages this person might be between those ages when you guys meet but she feels like those are going to me significant time frames for the both of us or ages or they could be born between the 22nd and 29th. She sees those numbers as being significant. He was born the 28th of September. I was born the 26th of April. We are about one year apart. She also explains that we might have an affiliation to nature and traveling. He travels a lot due to his music group. She pulls out the teacher card and said that we are destined to be teachers of some kind. Either one of us could be teachers of some kind or we could teach each other a lot of different things. When she said that it reminded me of this one video of him teaching one of his group members how to play the drums. Feels like this person could have a lot of third house and ninth house energy. She sees Sagittarius energy coming in as well. Said that this person definitely has the ability to communicate knowledge. This person has the gift of communicating that’s why she feels like they definitely are a talker with the teacher card, communication card and gossip card this person definitely likes to talk or communicate With their throat chakra. And definitely feels like this person has some sort of knowledge about something that they want to share and they have like a gift that can help a lot of people I’m hearing that they are also very logical as well. The chemistry card came up and mentioned like what she said before that this persons strong suit is that they are a good communicator and that I definitely will be hearing from them when I meet them and if we are ever in a falling out this person can hold a bit of a grudge and may withdrawal from communicating other than that they definitely like to talk so if you haven’t met anybody that likes to chatter then it’s probably not this person. His group members say he is extremely chatty. One said that on a car ride home he kept on talking so he just put his earbuds in and pretended to listen to him. Also I heard that libras can hold grudges She said that this person could also have Virgo in their chart as well. This person is very very work oriented. They are going to be very interested in what I do as well even if it’s very different. This person is very insightful and they give a lot of good advice. She said that we might indirectly help each other inspiring each other and keep it low key but this person is still there to help you discover your purpose vice versa. Pulls the Magician card and said that they are going to take a lot of action towards you they are going to be super excited about meeting you I want to be around you a lot. Also with judgement card this person is going to go through some sort of awakening either before meeting you while meeting you or after meeting you. Some of you guys might know this person and are in seperation they are going through an awakening right now or right before they meet you. She feels like this person is meant to be spiritual with the faith card and without faith this person is just not going to be happy. I know that twin flames have stages and I think that it’s possible that she might be talking about the yearning stage. 2 of wands comes up and thinks that we are destined to work together she sees a partnership of some kind. She sees that it might start off like helping each other With your purposes and then it might turn romantic or it may start off romantic but then later help each other behind the scenes with your purpose. Lots of motivation in this relationship lots of fire and definitely the type of connection that gets you going in your career. You guys are definitely going to inspire each other to Be better, to do better, even if this person does not have the same line of work as you They are still going to want to do a good job to impress you, you guys may give them good advice and they might bring it to work. A kind of has to be very work oriented for him to be apart of the group he is in. They constantly work and practice. It’s how she said that we would start off helping each other because before I saw this I was planning on writing a letter appreciating all of the things him and this group have done for me (indirectly) and I wanted to give back to at least one so I’d give them my contact info so if they ever need help with anything or need someone to talk to I wanted to let them know that I am always there for them (I also explained that I don’t want them to feel forced into this and that I don’t actually expect them to reply I’m just shooting my shot to see what happens.) I added in the letter that if he does want to do this that we might even end up helping each other. She said that Taurus energy is in here too as well this person probably has strong rising sun or moon like earth in their chart. And Felt like that’s why when they meet me they are not going to want to let me go. We are going to inspire each other to manifest more and She just saw this connection being significant. She Said if I haven’t met them yet keep affirming and manifesting and that the law of attraction can possibly affect this connection. Then 6th of house energy showed up and she said we are both dedicated to our work. She pulls out the imprisonment card and the number twenty nine came up. Says it’s really significant in the relationship. 2s are about partnership and 9s are about traveling and that Sagittarius energy and learning and teaching so She feels like we could partner up and tech and help each other by partnering up. And nine is a humanitarian number as well so She felt like we both are going to work together but we both have our own humanitarian aspects . Said that we are really going to enjoy getting to know each other and this is a connection that is really going to last. Said that we may start off as friends or decide to be friends first. Someone definitely has a more wounded inner child than the other. Said that this person is going to be crazy about you upon meeting you. She goes through a bag and pulls out charms and letters for initials. Said that this person has Leo energy, maybe some Capricorn energy, and Virgo energy again, got Sagittarius energy too, this person is supposed to be optimistic. The word bud came in and she couldn’t help but think someone may smoke weed a lot. Someone here either or could have a lot of anxiety and they self medicate. And then she said we got an e and an f. Yes I smoke a lot of weed and EF are my initials. Then I look at one of the comments to see that someone commented about me going through the akashic records I didn’t know what an akashic reader was or these records. I looked it up and was reading an article talking about the history of it . one of the earliest records of it was by a women that said she learnedly from Tibetan monks who said the records can be found in the “akasha” or “ether”. Why is that the music group that this person is in making a big group project where the concept is the “ether” or “akasha” and the past and the future? They came out with the concept video yesterday His chart: libra sun Taurus moon Libra mercury Leo in Venus Sagittarius in Mars My chart: Taurus sun Aquarius moon Aries Mercury Aries In Venus Taurus in mars Capricorn rising But anyway could you guys please give me your insight on the situation? Am I really seeing things correctly? Edit: I’m also an empath! And have had dreams that predicted future like my moms marriage.
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